Joke Thread

**themaclad** · 06-01-2020, 21:32

*Murder scene*

Cop 1: This is the 8th victim stabbed with a knitting needle

Cop 2: There’s definitely a pattern

Cop 1: Keith don’t

was walking past a pet shop. A sign on the shop front said ; ‘Pedigree Netherlands cats for sale.’
I didn’t believe they were from the Netherlands so I went into the shop and asked the assistant...
‘How Dutch is that moggie in the window?’.

**themaclad** · 12-01-2020, 18:20

Two pebbles on a beach,first one says,"Are you married?"
Second one replies,"No I'm shingle."

**themaclad** · 23-01-2020, 15:48

If anyone in the UK suspects that they might be harbouring the deadly #CoronaVirus, my mother-in-law lives at 42 Glan Clwyd, Llandudno. She's very lonely and would love some company, please pop in for a cup of tea.

**themaclad** · 23-03-2020, 21:22

Customs Officers at Dover have found 2 ton of toilet paper consealed in a batch of Cocaine

Social isolation could prove difficult for those leading double lives deciding which partner to stay with

**themaclad** · (This post was last modified: 15-03-2021, 19:46 by themaclad.)

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ritchiebaby · 15-03-2021, 23:22

There was a man who bought obsolete Royal Navy ships because he had a notion for them.

**themaclad** · 16-03-2021, 10:21

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**themaclad** · 10-06-2021, 19:10

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**themaclad** · 14-06-2021, 20:59

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**themaclad** · 15-06-2021, 12:57

I speak to my dog in Catalan
He’s an Espanol