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Sports Results
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here is the result of the 12.00 pm snail race from farmer maggots field...starting last friday

the results have become a bit clouded under controversy
as snail 3 won in under 3 days
the owners of the other snails are claiming the winner was on steroids
as it stands the IOSRC(International Olympic Snail Racing Committee) will be holding a review into the race,and reports suggest that the race may have to be held again.

And In Other Sporting News:
The World Championship 3 Legged Donkey Race At Blackpool Today Ended In A Farce,As One Donkey Actually Made It To The Finishing Line.
The Remaining 7 Entrants All Fell At The Starting Line

Breaking News:  the winner of the 3 legged donkey championship was sensationally disqualified just after the race due to the fact it wasnt a real donkey
it was found to be from the local pantomine that was cancelled over the weekend

and just before i go
some sad news to report in the world of pig throwing,the world champion porky sadly passed away this morning
his owner was understandably upset,but issued the following statement:

FREE BACON SANDWICHES FOR ALL

and thats all the sports news tonight
tune in tomorrow when we will ask the question:
Should Clay Pigeons Become A Protected Species
Mystery Of A Blood Red Rose
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