[Blue Baggie]

Rest assured to just clarify.
This FRIDAY is BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY..

[Arcane Astral Aeons]

Rest assured to just clarify.
This FRIDAY is BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY..

means that monday is friday then?
and wednesday was just a daft character in the adams family?
and Thursday was ....well whatever day that was

[Dingle-Dingle]

At the start of lockdown I decided to get some exercise in the house so I looked around for what things I could use. Today I managed ten minutes so I am ready for the next level.....

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-pound potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-pound potato sacks. Then use 20-pound potato sacks, and eventually try to get to where you can lift a 50-pound potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than 10 minutes.

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

I just saw a pack of Jamie Oliver sausages in Tesco`s. On the back of the packet it said "Prick with a fork".

I thought "Yep, that`s him".

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

So Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland are to stay at home.

Sounds just like the World Cup Finals.

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Just don`t understand the G/F. First she says she wants a Tattoo, then she moans about the Bagpipers on the lawn.

DD

[drewks]

A friend went completely bald last year, but he still has a comb in his pocket all the time.

He just can't part with it

[Dingle-Dingle]

Why are pizzas made round, put in square boxes and cut into triangles.??

DD

[Dingle-Dingle]

Breaking News.....

Man shot 200 times with upholstery gun.

Surgeons reveal he is now fully recovered.

DD

[drewks]

I love bad jokes about the eyes.

The cornea the better