[theo_luddite]

Kick-off 19:45 UK Time
Friday 28/01/22
Old McGalphsmiths Pharm
Under the full glow of those big fancy floodlights
It shouldn't be snowing but it might be foggy
Good luck finding a nearby open pub
HD1 6PG

A Warm welcome to the Staffordshire Oatcakes.

Sorry, Hairy Potters.



A pair of Hairy Oatcakes from the North East, who occasionally turn up in The Potteries to make some Oatcakes, but otherwise have noting to do with Stoke.

The boys and girls from Smoke-on-Stench head to Town to play the return fixture as they head up the M6 and across The Pennines for Friday night's live TV game in a rerun from almost 12 months ago to the day when were were home to them on Saturday 30th January. I'm not saying I'm a fan of Bingo but the EFL need to give the fixture computer's balls a good shake. I also need to check more carefully which threads I did the previous season. Anyroad, I'm back again. 

Stoke have been perennial underachievers since being relegated in 2018, chalking up 16th, 15th and 14th places.
Not quite what you'd call progress given the money that the Chairman, Mr. Dennis Bet365 Coates has poured into the club and his still somewhat expensive squad.
Several coaches have come and gone trying to get a tune out of a well paid squad of players who mostly have plenty of experience but generally have about as much idea of team work as 11 Georgie Bests.

Current coach Michael O'Neill was snaffled from Norn Iron, originally on a job share basis, last season before eventually coming in full time after The Euro's were done and dusted, well, as far as Norn Iron were concerned.



They started the season in fine form, only losing one in their first 7 games, to, er, Fulham, (funny how they keep coming up isn't it?).
They were in the top 6 for most of their first 12 games.
Then the wheels started to wobble. 3 defeats followed by a draw and 3 wins.
In the last 10 scheduled fixtures they've been consistently inconsistent.



That kind of means they are due something other than a defeat if they keep that run going, and me writing this week's thread means they've a good chance of getting it. (1 win so far I think ).

Staffordshire Oatcakes are far more consistent.

https://staffordshireoatcakes.com/index.php

Bit like a pancake, made with oat flour, though I've seen some that are more like big, off round biscuits, or maybe I'm mixing them up with oaties.

On the tellybox

Yes, as if you hadn't noticed, we've been moved to Friday Night Football for the benefit of Sky TV and your own favourite over priced sports channel provider.
Wherever you are in the world, there's a selection of them here - https://www.livesoccertv.com/match/40394...toke-city/

Latest news/Rumours

Town are being linked with former Blunts (and many, many other clubs) goalie Jamal Blackman as cover for Schofield who was injured at Blackburn.
He's a free agent after leaving Los Angeles FC in MLS.

Other rumours include Bornmuff and Forest being linked to a bid for Josh Koroma.
Town have themselves been linked with several whingers this window including
Hull City's Brighton loanee Ryan Longman,
Wolverhampton Wanderers' Ryan Giles (who spent the first half of this season on loan at Cardiff),
and former Terrier Jamie Paterson, who is now at Swansea City.
Former Town Academy player Will Boyle is also being linked with a move back to Town.


Out Injured/Suspended/Isolating

Colwill is still suffering from a knee problem that recurs every time they let him train.

Back training but not oven ready/Back in the frame

Holmes is back in the squad from isolation.

Last time out

Town's defence is continuing to look like it did most of last season.
After a much more promising start it has also wobbled a bit recently.
At least we are scoring goals for a change. 
We are far more accomplished at the back when on loan Levi Colwill is fit and playing.
We gave Reading the freedom of the penalty box to score three, but fortunately for us, Danny Ward scored his first hat-trick for us since his last hat-trick for us.
This was also the last hat-trick by any Town player. It was yonks ago, don't fret about the date, I'm not.
Added to another goal from supposedly injured Danil Sinani we also scored 4 for only the second time this season - also against Reading.
This extends our unbeaten run to 8 in the league, 9 in all.



Smoke meanwhile have played two and lost two this past week.

At the weekend they lost 2-3 at home to, er, that Fulham team again. They seemed unlucky not to get a point in this one.
On Tuesday night they went to Coventry and lost 1-0 and some of their own fans admitted they were lucky not to concede 3 again.







Mid-week catch-up games, postponed previously due the the Downing Street Let's have a Party Party restrictions, meant that Town stayed in 6th.
Forest stand a place and a point below us and The Baggies failed (again) to put 4 points between us and them.
Sorry Baggies fans that read this but, ooh you were awful, again.




Tables, Form & all that



Now ood a' thunk this a few weeks ago? Town are top of the form. 'ow did that 'appen? Our away form is helping a lot.
Pity we're playing at home, innit?





I mentioned Stoke's ability to be consistently inconsistent earlier



Musical Interlude

Well, the best thing to come out of Stoke since Wedgewood's fine ceramic pottery, the A53 to Buxton, The Trent and Mersey Canal, Sir Stanley Matthews and Gordon Banks (not necessarily in that order) is the quick fingered Saul Hudson.



Aka, Slash, of Guns 'n' Roses (and a few other bands when he had some time off), so sod the rest, and I don't care if I picked these for last season's Smoke-on-Stench thread either.

I haven't checked.
It was, after all, a socially distanced thread "wot-I-wrote" at the time.
So like the Met, I won't be looking into any historical offence(s) I caused or how many bottles of red wine and slices of cake were consumed whilst writing it.
It wasn't my birthday so I probably wasn't there, unless a recording of a Zoom meeting that I also wasn't in, shows otherwise.
I'm told, in all honesty, by a good HP Sauce, the thread was completed in accordance with all Government guidelines and laws that applied to writing and posting threads on this site at the time.
There was also no party in the garden workplace extension.
It was January after all fer crying out loud and we'd just seen the first snow in Wolverhampton this century.
The snowman built by the neighbours grand kid during the previous weekend's party, er, snowfall, so it couldn't have been a party could it? had already melted so he is, as he was at the time, unavailable for further comment until the BBC forecast the next snowfall.
By that time we'll have closed them down or renamed them as ITV 21, 22, 23 and 24.

So, back to the music ..... 

First of all something a few Town fans could do with (on other forums of course  )



and this one where he played a little more conservatively (yer, right)



and finally, one for the petrol heads



If you want another one - this goes on for a bit and features another of his, er, quieter riffs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8SbUC-UaAxE

PS - other artistes from Stoke are available.

I know one personally that is Ex-Staffordshire Regiment and WM Police - a "peace" artiste of the finest order and oatcakes for brains he has.
"Jack Butland will never be a decent goalie while he's got a hole in his arse" was one of his better predictions.

The revolving January door

In this transfer window

In
Taylor Harwood-Bellis (loan, Manchester City)
Lewis Baker (undisclosed, Chelsea)
Phil Jagielka (free, Derby County)
Jaden Philogene-Bidace (loan, Aston Villa)

Out
Danny Batth (undisclosed, Sunderland)
Adam Davies (undisclosed, Sheffield United)
Leo Ostigard (end of loan, returned to Brighton)

Otherwise



Town appear to be waiting to get mugged at the last minute again.

Who's banging 'em in

Well, ex-Town players Paul Ince and Smiffy are still as prolific as ever 



Ince must have missed more sitters from inside 10 yards than anyone in Town's first season in the Prima Donna League.
At least 10 at one stage springs to mind.

Powell came back from injury as a 2nd half sub at Coventry.

That hat-trick at Reading moved Danny Ward into double figures - a bit of a rarity in these 'ere parts.
Yes Karlan Grant hit 19 two seasons ago but finding the onion bag has been a problem for Town for a good few seasons now, as if we hadn't noticed.
To be fair I doubted Ward would get 10 all season, but what do I know about predictions?

They can't all win

The games are fairly well spread out this week, though there's a few between the top 10 or so.



We've played 'em before

..... and we're lagging a bit behind. 
We haven't won at home since the 97/98 season when we did the double with a 3-1 win at ours and 1-2 at theirs.
We've drawn 3 of the other 4 since and we got battered 2-5 in the other one.



I wasn't expecting the 7 goal "goal fest" at Reading so I'm not predicting this one - well, not on this thread anyway. 


Next up?

Direby have been given another month to sort their act out and prove to the EFL they can complete the season.
So it's confirmed we've got them at home Wednesday followed by t'black arsed'uns, aka Barnsalee in the Cup next Saturday.

Pressers

Carless chunters on

The short translation from the Esperanto - https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/sport/foo...d-22893757

The full Esperanto version on Radio Local
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0bkpzcp

Danel Sinani on Radio Local
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0bknxdk

The view from Wedgewood Blue Willow tea-pot with chipped spout and the cracked lid.

For some reason you can't watch this on their website without an account - then they put it on their YouTube Channel for nowt.
Oatcakes for brains or what?



By the way - he must have kissed the Blarney Stone sometime back in his youth. He can chunter on for Ireland, so he can.

[theo_luddite]

Colwill likely out until the middle of next month. Hmm. Have Chelski got another spare kid with confidence to spare at the back we can bring in and bring on for them? No reason we couldn't play 'em both.

Come on Deano - what problem were you asking for at the end of last year? We're 6th, would you like to stay there or better? We won't lose to Posh in this season's play-off's if we're still involved so you won't have 15,000 t-shirts to recycle to a charity shop in Manchester.

[Lord Snooty]

Nice one, Mr Luddite.

Looking forward to this one. Seems like ages since we had a night game.

Just had to look up which one it was. And it was a drab nil niller against the Brum in October. I'd managed to erase that one from my memory banks.

[Lord Snooty]

[Lord Snooty]

Just read that we haven't had a goal from a sub yet this season.
I find that most surprising.

[jjamez]

I rated Ince when he was here, I was a little baffled when we signed him as he didn't seem to fit the team ethos, but he was a willing worker and I wouldn't have sold him. We did make a profit on him, but we also took sobhi so who really got the best deal? I'd lean towards us as I'm led to believe we made a profit on sobhi too.

I'd take Ince over any of the 'wingers' we signed to replace him

[theo_luddite]

Liked Ince myself to be honest. At least he got himself in the right place to balloon the ball over the bar when all he had to do was pass it into the net.

[Lord Snooty]

His tap in against Watford was an iconic moment of our Prima Donna League story.

[theo_luddite]

What a wonderful day for BT's Interweb to fall apart and not be due to be repaired until midday tomorrow.

How friggin' tickled I'm not. 

---

[Lord Snooty]

Pipa injured again.