[theo_luddite]

A day late but ....

Planes, no Trains (on Monday) but some half decent pubs and maybe some Automobiles
Edgley Park
Smogport-on-Mersey
Not a Train nor a Tram in Sight on the day
Not that there's a tram in Smogport anyway
SK3 9DD


Kick-off 15:00 UK Time
Monday 20/04/25

Town head over the hill for a game at Edgely Park, under the westbound flight path for landing at Manchester Airport, on Monday afternoon, the result of which if it goes to form, might finally confirm League One football again for Town next season.

Pub beer quiz night fact - or whatever order you prefer

Until Everton move into their new "on the banks of the Mersey" home for next season at Bramley Moor Dock, Stockport's Edgley Park ground is the closest to the River Mersey. Just down 't'hill from Edgely Park, next to the M60, the River Goyt and the River Tame meet to form the River Mersey. Pisses off no end of Scousers when you ask them, specially Everton fans, but you won't get closer than Bramley Moor Dock next season, especially if it floods the pitch at high tide. You have to think they took global warming into account don't you? Then again .... scousers? Planning? Eh? Eh? Eh? Giz 'a' job.

On the tellybox

On Sky Sports+ over here and HTTV, plus dodgy interweb feeds everywhere.

Pies, Pees and Pubs

How to get there - the chuff chuffs aren't going there this Monday so good luck with the rail replacements from Piccalilly or Wilmslow.

https://footballgroundguide.com/leagues/...-park.html

Latest News

Bonanaza.
For those of you who aren't Town fans, or for the Town fans living in Chocolate Egg lined caves with piss poor interweb connections, Town gave Director of Football, Hoss Cartwright his P45, told him to saddle up 'is 'oss, ride out of Town and don't look or come back.

The Munchkins are happy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwWjST_4zU8

So, we also need a new one of them to lead the search for a new head coach and a bunch of new players that can put a shift in for a season, rather than one or or two weak weeks of each calendar season as they do now. As in two weeks of autumn, two weeks of winter, two weeks of spring. The two weeks of summer are pre-season and of course, they bust their bollocks then when they want a contract.

There's a lot of supporters wanting Wagner back. Blinded by his ability to get one Town squad into the Prima Donna League without scoring much more than a goal a game, some of the deluded fools think he could do it again. I don't, but that's just my opinion. I respect your opinion, however deluded I think it may be.

Musical Interlude

Ee by gum, joy, it could be a division, but where do I start? ....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7duPNQCp-w4&t=11s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zuuObGsB0No

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bif2q_Zo3-4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZfS97Wc...LFr_8iFfC0

"Keep yer hand on yer ha'penny" were another one of their's, but there's an annoying buzz on t'interweb version that someone obviously taped off a crackly 12 incher at 33&1/3rd rpm with a dodgy amp to speaker lead.

Out Injured/Suspended/Isolating

Town picked up more injuries on Friday, with Balker hobbling off again after half-an hour. Koroma followed soon into the 2nd half and then Roosken also limped off late in the 2nd half with what looked like yet another pulled hammy. Not that we missed him. He mucked up more Town moves than you can shake a stick at on Friday. Couldn't trap a bag of wet cement. We scored as soon as he'd gone. This left Town with 10 men as we'd used our quota of subs (we'd sent 4 men on in 3 sub periods, so you can't then send on a 5th unless it's deamed a head injury).

Back training but not oven ready/Back in the frame

Don't hold your breath but we might find out about 10 minutes or even an hour before we kick off.

Last time out

On a day when few results "went to plan" in this division, Town managed to pick up another defeat against yet another relegation threatened club. Cambridge scored 2 goals from their only 2 shots on target. Town scored one from several, though I'm struggling to recall 19.



Stockport conceded at Pish Posh just before half-time, then snatched an added time equaliser in the 91st minute to all but secure a play-off place.



The Last Good Friday set of fixtures threw up it's usual smorgasbord of unpredicatable results.

Brum sat on the beach and let Creepy Crawley go home with a point. They couldn't even conjure up a goal or two between them to celebrate. Well, they are Brum for a reason. Wycombe continued to trounce all them around them, with a 0:2 win at Bowton, who are proving to be every bit as piss poor as Town right now. Wrexham salvaged a draw after going behind to relegation threatened Brizzle (why does this sound familiar?) as did Smogport at Pish Posh, which I may have mentioned. Reading dropped out of the top 6 with a home defeat to going nowhere fast Lincoln which allowed Orient to jump into 6th after a 4:3 home win to Barnsley. That was after being 0:2 and 1:3 behind. If only we supported a club that did that? Orient, not Barnsley that is. We're more like Barnsley except we rarely get 3:1 up in the first place. Blackpool won at Stevenage to move a point behind Town, with an easy catch-up fixture to come against Brum, to move into 9th if we don't get a shift on.



Down amongst the (seemingly far from so far) deadmen.

Shrewsbury's defeat at home to Wigan confirmed their relegation party. Cambridge, Creepy Crawley, Brizzle and Burton all picked up at least one point (you know who picked up 3) to keep the trap door open.

The Sack Race

Apart from Cartwright - it's open season and The Creme Eggs will have also disappeared from the supermarket shelves when you turn up today or tomorrow. They had loads left on Saturday. Why? Nothing says Easter like a melted Creme Egg and Bacon Butty. They'll be putting t'Christmas dec's back out again next weekend.

The latest reported casualty is Omer Riza at Cardiff, their 2nd hire 'em - fire 'em decision of the season after Erol Bulut was pushed out in September. They are gambling that Aaron Ramsey can pull off another miracle. They seem to have one most seasons round about now but with 3 games to go and their goal difference, this might be one miracle too many.

Paul Warne went to MK Don's for anyone not keeping up with DATM conspiracy theories.

Tables, Form & Stats

One win in 6 games Town are in prime form to finally grasp mid-table mediocrity. Stockport are 6 points off 2nd, Town are 5 points off 6th. Who's most likely to make up the difference? I wouldn't bet on Town even though we still have to play Orient and Exeter.


Stockport are 2nd best in the form table and we're 3rd bottom - this would have a Town win written all over it, if we were Stockport and not Town.




Stockport rode the promotion wave from League 2 with 3 wins and two draws to begin with. A heavy defeat at home to a piss poor (at the time) Orient stirred them into a run of 4 draws and a win. From the end of October to Dec 26th, they didn't draw a game. Winning 6, losing 5. They only picked up 2 points from 3 games around the New Year, then they kicked into form again. 6 wins and a draw in 7 followed by a run of a defeats at Cambridge, 2 wins, 2 draws and a defeat at Wrexham followed by 4 wins and last Friday's draw.

Town on the other hand started with 5 wins and 5 defeats before going on a 16 game unbeaten, if at times dodgy, run. Since then, we've LOST 12, drawn 1 and WON 5 and some maybe wonder why we are are where we are? Some claim (and it's mostly players) we are better than we are where we are? Cambridge have scored as many points as we have since the start of the year, that is how piss poor we are.



Stockport v top 2/3rds and Town v Top 8



Innies and Outies

Most of Stockport's January Sales dealings were centred around trying to replace Louie Barry's goals. There may or may not have been a transfer deal involved.

Most of their outies went on loan, many back to clubs they'd been at in the first half of the season.


Town on the other hand spent a relative fortune and just got worse as a result




Who's banging 'em in

Louie Barry was on loan from Villa for the first half of the season and was scoring for fun for them. Villa called him back and sent him to Hull, where he picked up a knee injury in his 4th (goalless) game against Blunderland and hasn't played since. Kyle Wootton has somewhat taken up the Edgley Park mantle.

Town are still waiting for someone to score 10 goals all season


They can't all win

Easter Egg queasy Monday's fixtures throws up (apart from you after your chocolate filled breakfast) the following ...

Brum take their hang-overs to Burton. Where better for a hair-of-the-dog and a marmite toastie?
Wycombe continue their quest to beat all around and below them with a home fixture v Charlton. They've done a bostin job so far. Wrexham go for fish'n'chips on the end of the pier(s) at Blackpool. Orient tootle off to Cambridge where they probably can't be any worse that us. Reading go to Mansfield who are still drifting southwards. You'd a'thunk they were safe last month but they ain't. Bolton go to Lincoln, hoping to be less worse than Town.


Down amongst the (nearly) deadmen

Already gone Shrews are at not quite safe yet Northampton. Creepey Crawley are at home to very safe Exeter, Cambridge play The O's, Brizzle are at home to almost as safe as Exeter, Stevenage. I might have mentioned Burton at home to Brum above. Pish Posh could likely need a win or a draw at Barnsley to keep the wolves from the door again after just missing out on promotion last season.

We've played 'em before

We played each other 49 times so far and Town are well ahead in this fixture. I'm not holding my breath for this one. On our last visit we won 0:6, I wouldn't be surprised if we lost 6:0 this time.



Next up?

Going nowhere Exeter away next Saturday and then The O's at home to finish off the season, where one or the other of us can possibly piss on each other's parade .... assuming we still have one to piss on.

Pressers

Well, they've been training Easter Saturday and maybe Sunday but Radio Local were apparently too busy eating Easter Eggs to come over and do a presser.



Maybe there will be one just before the teams are announced? Don't hold your breath. If all else fails you can watch the planes land. The open end has always been good for that. Don't forget your sunscreen/waterproofs. (Delete as appropriate).


Keepers and Leavers and Jesus Weepers

These are players ranked by minutes played so far this season - I'd only go so far down the list and pick certain of them for next season in my opinion. Oh, and there's that other bloke that's been in France all season and another one in Holland. Can't see either coming back to be honest. Thomas has scored one and Bojan Radulović has scored the square root of bugger all where he is. More or less what he did for us and just what we need next season to be honest. Oh hang on, my name's not Cartwright.




In the 1st half of the season I said we'd got the Ben Wiles we thought we'd signed from Rotherham. Since January we've had to put up with the one we had last season.
Callum Marshall can come back in a heart beat but West Ham might have other plans
Chappers is signed up already
Hoggy - will probably hang around but not play as many minutes - get his coaching badges and put him in charge of the reserves.
Turton - keep
Pearson, Koroma, Evans - hmm, they need a word with their agents
Spencer, Sorensen, Kasumu - keep
Lapado - is there room on Cartwrights saddle?
Kane - still trying to work out what he's actually done let alone what he does
Hodge - back to Wolves
Nicholls - not bothered either way
Lonwijk - too many sick notes
Ruffels- keep
Maxwell - there's kids in the reserves/junior sides that would be a better use of his wage.

Page 2
I'd keep Miller, Charles, Taylor, any of the kids trying to make a living (most would go out on loan anyway) and Iorpenda at a push.

A word about them there Season Card's

So, I had a look at getting one on the never, never before the deadline (the Friday afore we play Orient). Apart from 'appen losing your current seat, not sure what else is gonna 'appen after other than loads of other better seats might be available if you ignore the deadline. Putting the prices up even more will be a master class of marketing stupidity.

Any road, Interest free it says.
Pay for it over 6 or 10 months it says.
Then there's an 11% handling fee.
If it quacks like a duck and waddles like a duck it's ..... an 11% interest charge however you dress it up.

The one and only time I did this before I seem to recall the club, or more likely Deano, absorbing these fees. Or was it me?

[Lord Snooty]

Nice one, theo.

Love the Beano, as you may have guessed. I used to be in the Dennis and Gnasher Fan Club, you know.

As for that 6-0 win. What a team that was. Never mind bringing back Wagner.

BRING BACK LEE CLARK!!

[WakeyTerrier]

Today’s the day we mathematically can’t make the playoffs and the day I finally cancel our hotel that I booked for the play off final.

I don’t expect the team to change much from Friday, JW can’t show he’s given up even if the players have and so he will pick his best team. Thankfully that’ll give us 2 dead rubbers to end the season and a chance to give the younger players at the club to have a run out and gain some valuable experience.

[theo_luddite]

The Beano and Dandy are the only places you can get reliable news from these days Snoots. Some of our so called newspapers have been blatently recruiting their hacks from amongst Dundee's finest for years. The BBC has now even resorted to pre-recording Blue Peter. Why? Where else are you going to see an elephant piss and crap all over the studio floor then drag it's keeper on his arse right through the middle of it? They'll edit all that fun out of the show now. Happy daze.

[theo_luddite]

My mate, who I met when I was about 17 back in 1975 going to a Town match or several, stopped buying season tickets a few years back. A few friends have passed away, a few have moved away, but as Billy No Mates these days on the end of a block on Row Z right now, last season and this in particular, have made me question why I continue to do the 220'ish mile round trip, plus the journey over/under The Ainleys on our wonderful public transport network. Other than to come 'home', 30-odd years after I left, every other weekend to meet up with family and friends, ultimately, it would be cheaper to sell up and buy something back ooop nooerth and pocket a few grand, but right now I don't need the hassle of everything that all that house moving sh!t brings with it either.

I said a few weeks back Town had a slack handful of home games to convince me to renew. One game apart, they aren't really doing much to convince me. I've been to two away games this season, probably my lowest ever since I was still at school. Brum and Shrewsbury. I normally go to all the Muddled England games at least. Take a guess where I won't be next Saturday? It could have been another ground to add to the long list ....

I could still come up and see the family and friends and enjoy myself on a Saturday afternoon ..... just getting refreshed.

---

Jon Worthington has made three changes to his side ahead of their Easter Monday clash with Stockport County at Edgeley Park
Brodie Spencer goes straight back into the starting side having been missing since the away loss to Charlton Athletic, injuring his hamstring in the final minute at The Valley. Josh Koroma and Ollie Turton are reintroduced from the start.

Midfielder Herbie Kane comes back on the bench to show me what it is he's supposed to do if and when he gets on the pitch. Balker, Miller and Roosken miss out

[Amelia Chaffinch]

Happy Easter, all.

[theo_luddite]

J,J,J Josh Koroma

---

Joy, 1-1

---

Elsewhere, Charton are battering Wycombe and Reading are battering Mansfield

---

Orient now lead at Cambidge to go back to 6th

[Lord Snooty]

Never a penalty in a million years

[theo_luddite]

Never a penalty but we are 2:1 down

[Lord Snooty]

Kasumu booked for having his hair pulled