[theo_luddite]

Old McGalphsmiths Funny Pharm
Home for the infirm and the rapidly unabled
'Can I Twang That Tendon or Hamstring For You'-on-Colne
HD1 6PG

Kick-off 15:00 UK Time
Saturday 08/02/25

It's FA Cup 4th Round weekend, and just for a change, Town aren't in it. Fortunately we have a game to play because Reading aren't either.

Our old Wemberlee mates head up through the Friday afternoon traffic jams on the M40, M42, M1 and M62 so they can rest their weary heads in the hotel up on top of The Ainleys before a short coach ride in more traffic jams into town for Saturday afternoon's match. The good news is Town can't drop any lower than 5th even if our 2nd dismal run of form this season continues. The bad news is we need Stockport to lose or draw if we win (possibly by 2 or more, as if?) to reclaim 4th place. Even then, that 2nd place we should have been capable of achieving is disappearing into the distance faster than some of our lads can tie their boot laces, but not quite as fast as we can injure our own players.

Reading are a club suffering from Chinese Take-Away syndrome. Not too many years ago, aided by President Xi's Government money, Chinese "investors" were buying English clubs left right and centre in the hope of getting more involved than just gambling company shirt sponsorships in the money-go-round that is the Prima Donna League. Well, could you translate our shirt sponsors at the time into anything you could lose your shirt on?

Having discovered that getting there, staying there and the costs of playing there (don't mention the agents fees Fu Yung, you'll have Egg on your face), even if you do, came at a heftier price than President Xi's coffers were expecting. They quickly started realing in their free Spring Roll and Prawn Cracker with every meal offers a few seasons into their folly. In the case of Reading, the lack of cash has resulted in numerous points deductions, which mainly resulted in their relegation to League One and nearly resulted in another to League Two. If you've got a pair of vintage Huntley and Palmers biscuit tins to rub together to sell on Antiques Road Show, oh, and prove you can pay the club wages, they are all yours. They are under a transfer embargo as they are late again with their accounts. Like, a year late. Leading horses to water might come to mind here.

If only Reading could find a rich American investor that knows what he, or she, is doing? If only Town could find a rich American ...... ? Seems to be the trend. A load of Arabs you say? Well, if you want to be rude about it, fine, but they seem to have gone from buying clubs to buying players for a League that nobody watches or cares about. I couldn't tell you where to find highlights let alone live games.

If only you could find a 2nd hand car sales advertising bloke that's worth a small fortune when you need one?
I guess you'd need a lorra, lorra cash to splash on that though chuck. Maybe 'ave a word wi' ar' Graham.
He could even get the stadium named after you again.

Then again, given that HRH isn't paying his bro' out of the public purse any more, maybe The Royals could be bought by The Royal Household. Wouldn't that be a Mews ing? I'm here all weekend.

On the tellybox

Not showing anywhere at the moment other than HTTV or Bet365 (maybe) if you have an account. You might find other streams elsewhere but make sure your Aunty Virus has her best pearls on and her sharpest set of teeth in. You don't want to be that sucker that sees all his bank details splattered all over the web, dark or otherwise.

Latest news

Well, in case you were sleeping, we brought another Loan Wolf in, Tawanda Chirewa, who seems to be dividing opinion already, based on little evidence in my opinion. We also sent Mr. Bojangles and his "little mouse" clogs back to Holland to go play for Fortuna Sittard against some of the biggest clubs in the Dutch Eredivisie.

Now, many a Dutch and quite a few German clubs were or still are "factory sponsored" and the last time I looked the Fortuna brand was well known across Europe, Spain in particular, for selling cancer sticks. So has the name been allowed to stick (sorry) at Sittard and Dusseldorf as it's historical, or is cancer stick sponsorship in sport still a thing in some parts of Europe? It could of course be entirely innocent as it translates to something like good luck or fortunate. Hmmm, yeah, OK.

Elsewhere, Ozzy Osbourne has announced that him and the lads are having one last thrash in a day of Metal Mayhem at Villa Park this summer. Ozzy will stand on stage again with original members Tony Iommi, Geezer Butler and Bill Ward – playing for the first time in 20 years. With amps cranked up to 25 you might just about hear it in Yorkshire and Berkshire on the day. Saturday 5th July if you want tickets, Saturday 5th July if you don't. Don't be surprised if they suddenly decide to play on Sunday too "due to unprecedented demand". Nothing better than pissing folk off who think they bought tickets to the "final" show.

Out Injured/Suspended/Isolating

Oops, we did it again. Our waiting list at Canalside outside the treatment room continues to grow and it's mostly our new expensive signings that are having the 6 hour NHS style waits for treatment followed by a 6 week layoff before we can break, sorry play them them once (and I do mean once) again. Yes, we knew some of these guys had a history of being broken, not so much Born to Run as Born to Hobble, but we're doing it in spades and in record time this season. That we sacked our head of medical (or whatever) for this and it's still happening stinks of someone who's done a good job of covering their arse and deflecting the blame if you ask me.

I hope Mr. Chicken accepts a reference to his "We Are Terriers" email in return for nobbling his excellent summary below ...

Nigel Lonwijk will get another scan on his hamstring and will miss another couple of weeks.
Ruben Roosken awaits scans after hyper-extending his knee at Northampton. From fellow Town fans, Wakey and Snoots and anyone else I missed, it seems this will be another long layoff.
Joe Taylor is predicted to miss all of February with a hamstring injury.
Mickel Miller remains out until spring with an MCL injury.
Rhys Healey needs surgery and is set to miss the remainder of the season with cartilage damage.
Danny Ward is out for the season with a knee ligament injury.

Back training but not oven ready/Back in the frame

Tom (Phantom of the Opera) Lees will wear a mask due to a broken nose but is available.
Josh Koroma is expected to be back following a minor quad issue.
David Kasumu has been training and is available to return to the side after his hamstring injury.

Extended Musical Interlude

Well, with that eardrum splitting news, I've got to start with some "Metal", ay I?
Don't blame me if your Huntley and Palmers are reduced to a pile of crumbs in the biscuit tin.
You should have put them in the shed, out of harms way. So the mice can eat them.

https://youtu.be/cen1SvpTsYk?feature=shared

It was that or War Pigs .... oh, what the hell ... I'm not embedding these anymore.

https://youtu.be/zY5nYmTUfnQ?feature=shared

Reading is well known for its part in the annual Reading and Leeds Music Festivals, played over the same weekend, typically around August Bank holiday, with many big name headline acts appearing on both bills. They sort of change ends of the M1/M40 at half-time. It's also well known by me as I used to book flights and travel by train through Reading to get to Heathrow on the RailAir bus. My (ahem) reserved Virgin (as it was then) train seat was often taken up by some stoodent types with big rucksacks that looked like they'd packed for a month let alone a long weekend. Says me with 2 suitcases, but I was going over the pond for two weeks. Since Cross Country took over they pushed the prices up into rip-off country, so I now mostly use Chiltern.

One or two of these you may have heard of from 2023 and, erm, a few a bit before that.

https://youtu.be/4hbZbdXIf7c?feature=shared - we could do with a bright side right now. How did all of them that can't sing in tune get closest to the mikes? I'm sure there's hardly a football fan in the world that can sing in tune but together the harmonies are brilliant. Give me an eeeeeeeee.

https://youtu.be/hM0giyIWOH4?feature=shared - stick your fingers in your ears if easily offended. We need to pull our finger out to stop us from going (7th and) under the play-off's right now, let alone 17th.

https://youtu.be/gpmO_7yKUHM?feature=shared - the others are Creep(ing) up on us.

https://youtu.be/_u1SW0s9Hig?feature=shared - they make it impossible to play most of these embedded anymore, but they still put ads in halfway through. Tossers. As Dave Grohl might say - it's times like these we need to stop (effing) injuring our own players. Clearly his mum has no control or influence over his (mostly Anglo-Saxon) language.

Last time out

Groooaaaannnn!! We pulled a 3rd defeat on the trot from the jaws of another 0-0 draw, allowing Northampton to score after 30 mins and notch up 3 unreplied goals again before we, erm, tried to make a game of it in the last 20 minutes. When Hoggy is scoring with a screamer you know we've got a problem up front. 6 goals conceded and two defeats against a club sitting proudly on the trap door.

We've spent small fortunes on a legion of expensive but quickly injured cast-off's, mostly folk that supposedly know where the onion bag is but would actually struggle to find the little blue bag in a pack of salt-'em-yourself crisps, when all we had to do was spend it all on Alfie May. That said, we'd have injured him by September and he wouldn't be fit until Easter with our record.



Reading kick started their recently improved run of form by dragging a 1-0 win from the jaws of a 0-0 draw against Bolton by scoring in added time. They'd lost the previous 3. What are the odds on both of us continuing our recent form?



In other League One games, the top three continued to sail into the distance as far as we're concerned and that Reading have sold their leading scorer to Wrexham is not likely to help either of us. Brum beat The Millers and Wycombe came back with a point from Cambridge. The Taffs beat Creepy Crawley and per above Smogport won at Orient to go 4th and halt The O's charge. They are 6th on goal dfference from Charlton, Bolton and Reading.



Down amongst the dead men, Cambridge stay bottom, The Shrews beat mansfield 2:1 but stay just above them. Crawley are next with Burton remaining under the trap door after a 0:0 at Barnsalee. Trpa door dwellers Northampton and Posh are five points clear at the moment.

The Sack Race

Mike Williamson got the heave-ho at bottom of the 92 Carlsisle on Monday, to be replaced by Mark (Sparky) Hughes, who has been signing on in the Job Centre for the last year and a half after Sadfud decided he was too good for them. I guess he fell for the local scenery. It might not be quite (Wainw)right how they went about this but if he can spring them back into life and hike them up the league, he might turn out to be a bit of a, er (oyster) catch(er). I suspect a mountain or two to climb though to view the long term prospects at this club. A bottom of the League wet Tuesday in Carlisle is a lot bleaker than a wet premier League Wednesday in Stoke no matter how you look at it.

Mike Dodds, in the backgound at Blunderland several times, has also been appointed full time at Wycombe. Despite seemingly everyone leaving Wycombe in droves, they've still got something going on there that is better than we've got going on here right now.

Tables, Form & Stats

Town dropped to 5th after last weekend's results and have gone from being comfortable in 4th to nervous ninnies in 5th. As fast as Orient have shot up the League, we could plummet the other way if current results continue. See Coventry not that long ago in The Chumpionship.



Reading have been a model for consistent inconsitency this season compared to Town who are either consistently crap or consistently good at getting results despite playing like crap. Reading are better than mid-table mediocrity but as soon as they win a few they lose a few. That the've only drawn 5 and the last one was 4th Jan says this game screams win or lose. Maybe back your house on a 2-2 draw but don't blame me if it doesn't happen. I've predicted a 1-0 win for Town but in more hope than expectation.






Innies and Outies

I may have mentioned their top scorer has left for pastures new.



Who's banging 'em in

His Knibbs is going to have to step up now that Smithy has defected to Welsh Wales.



They can't all win

Mansfield and Northampton get things rolling on Friday night with League One goal machine Jordan Rhodes looking to get a bagfull for Mansfield. All the top 3 games are postponed due to FA Cup involvement. Thankfully we don't get involved in that nonsence. Smogport are home to Barnsalee in an early kick-off. Orient were due at Wrexham so that's them out of the mix too. In the scramble for 6th, Charlton are home to Stevenage, Bolton are home to Creepy Crawley and you might have worked out by now where Readiing are.



Down amongst the dead men, Cambridge are at Lincoln, The Shrews are at The Millers, Creepy Crawley you know about and Burton are home to Blackpool. The trap door dwellars are covered above (Posh v Brum off).

We've played 'em before

So, setting aside what was probably the most easily forgotten 120 minutes of football at Wemberlee before the penalties since the easily most previously easily forgotten 120 minutes before the penalties (Town v Blunts) .... Reading are battering us in the League Head2Heads.



Our recent home record against them is a tad better than average, but then, Reading were on a spiral of 'win points' and then 'get them deducted' for the most part. It didn't help that their dickhead owners didn't understand that offering wages you couldn't afford to pay, let alone on time were the main cause of their problems.

Next up?

Just darn t'road at Barnsalee for t'Maggie Thatcher Miners Memorial Cup fixture. Presented to the losers by Arthur Scargill and medals handed out by Dickie Bird.

Pressers

Duff Duff and the new Loan Wolf get the Radio Local grillings

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0kpm9x0

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0kpmb3l

The views from The Reading Festival site - a load of big fields near the station that can get very muddy, very quickly. Big Frank would have been in his element.

https://www.readingchronicle.co.uk/sport...ith-shoes/

https://www.readingchronicle.co.uk/sport...-addition/

[WakeyTerrier]

Decided to give this a swerve and at half time v Northampton I bought myself a ticket to watch Trinity v Goole Vikings… so on the back of that we will probably win 4-0 on Saturday.
Players made of glass, a manager that confuses supporters with his team selections and substitutions. I don’t expect us to be world beaters, but I do expect better than I’ve seen over the past couple of weeks.

[theo_luddite]

Apart from the real football there also a Round 4 Cup game on Channel 3 tonight. Sorry I missed it but if you rush down to your local pub they can show it without the need for a Sky Sports licence. A normal tellybox licence will do. You might be shocked to find they are showing the Red Mancs. Oood'd a thunk they'd be showing their favourite team?

[Lord Snooty]

We're watching a proper Cup tie. Ayr v Hibs.

---

Not looking forward to watching our brave boys tomorrow. I think it will be another tragedy in the making. I will be in attendance though, mainly to catch a glimpse of my boyhood heroes from the 69/70 squad.......

https://www.htafc.com/news/2025/february...ading--h-/

[theo_luddite]

Oh, and then I found this

https://youtu.be/R3XIGon2RjY?feature=shared

Any idea who might be on drums back in 1992?

---

Didn't know about that Snoots I might turn up early for once. The team that got most of us invested.

[theo_luddite]

Lee Nicholls back in goal
Full debut for Tawanda Chirewa
Charles and Marshall both start
Tom Lees back fit
David Kasumu on the bench

[Lord Snooty]

A cold, damp miserable afternoon in Huddersfield. What could be better than sat waiting for a football match to start?

---

Hold on a minute. Is that the famous Poppodom Hands Perreira in their goal?

[Lord Snooty]

Not a bad game for a goal less draw. But miles away from good enough. Still look powder puff soft up front. Need to get Taylor fit ASAP.

Saddest part of the day though was seeing the 69/70 squad at half time. Only seven still alive, two who turned up were in wheelchairs.

---

Duff just told us that Pearson is out for few weeks now with a calf injury.

[theo_luddite]

We'll be lucky to finish the season with a fit 11 let alone a fit bench.

[theo_luddite]

Duff Duff and the new Loan Wolf Part 2

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0kq1drw

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0kq1h4h