[Lord Snooty]

Middlesbrough v Huddersfield Town
The Sky Bet Championship
Saturday October 22nd - 15:00 ko
at the Riverside Stadium

Huddersfield Town travel to Smoggieland to the Captain James Cook Stadium on Saturday afternoon for a relegation six pointer. Well it would've been had Boro not won on Wednesday, ruining the main drift of my article. 

So! Our once great club has now gone from underdog, to crisis club, to a laughing stock that makes the Tory Government look organised, in the space of a few days. A diabolical second half in New York on Saturday, was followed by a most pathetic and dreadful display at the theatre of drivel on Tuesday night against Preston Both Ends.

We now have rumours of the manager and the players falling out and he's lost the dressing room. Well, if that match on Tuesday showed anything, it's that the players really are not on board with whatever Mark Fotheringham is trying to get across. We have exclusive coverage of what really happened at that infamous training session this week, at the end of this article.

Our Smoggy opponents aren't much better off, with Chris Wilder being shown the exit door after a poor start to the season. They haven't appointed anyone to replace him yet, but interim manager Leo Percovich led them to an impressive victory at Wigan, coming from behind to win 4-1. Goals on Wednesday night came from Isaiah Jones, Duncan Watmore, Hayden Hackney and a Chuba Akpom penalty.

Can we possibly get out of this mess? Or have you already started plotting a course for Shrewsbury n Exeter, Fleetwood Town away. Accrington and Forest Green, Forest Green awaaaay, Forest Green awaaaay?

Tickets:

Adults - £31
65 and over - £23
Under-18s - £18

A brief history of Middlesbrough FC: formed in 1876, following a suggestion at a tripe supper at the Corporation Hotel, by members of a cricket club. Soon after formation, they were split when some members left to form another club Middlesbrough Ironopolis. There were talks to merge the two some years later, which never came off and so it was Middlesbrough FC who were eventually elected into the Football League in 1899. They were promoted to Division 1 in their 2nd season and moved into their new ground Ayresome Park, which was situated right next to the Ironopolis ground, the Paradise Ground. They stayed in the first division, eventually reaching their highest position of 3rd at the end of the 1913/14 season, just as war broke out.

They were relegated in 1924, but came back up again as 2nd Division champions three years later. Straight back down though and straight back up again as champions, they remained in the top flight until 1954. They had gotten a good side together, reaching 4th in the table, once more just as war broke out again and the team were broken up.

That relegation in 1954 was the start of 20 years outside of the top tier. During that time in the 2nd Division, a locally born striker called Brian Clough played for them. He was as good at scoring goals as he was at managing teams to winning trophies later in life. In four consecutive seasons he scored 40+ goals and by the time he left for Sunderland he had scored 204 goals in 222 league matches.

Things got worse in 1966 when they went down to the 3rd division. That was just for one season though and by the early 70s they had worked their way back into the top flight and in 1976 they won the Anglo Scottish Cup, beating Fulham 1-0 on aggregate. But they were struggling for the next few years and two relegations later saw them playing once more in division 3 in 1986.

The club were about to be wound up and the gates of Ayresome Park were padlocked, meaning they started the 86/87 season playing home games at Hartlepool. Ten minutes before the club were wound up, they were bought out by Steve Gibson and things started looking better. Two straight promotions and suddenly they were back in the first division again. That promotion to the top flight was via the play offs when it was against one of the bottom teams in the first who were playing to avoid relegation. So Boro went up and Chelsea of all people, went down. Lol! But Boro went down the next season.

Chelsea had their revenge though in 1990. Boro had reached their first ever Wembley final, the Zenith Data Systems Cup (a poxy little competition for English clubs who were banned for Europe at the time), and the Blues beat them 1-0. They went up again though, finishing as runners up in 1992 and so becoming members of the first Premier League and so then became the first team relegated from the Premier League later that season.

They were back up again two years later and started life back in the Premier at their new ground, the Riverside Stadium. They had Bryan Robson now in the manager's seat and they went on a massive spending spree, buying big names such as Brazilian international Juninho and Juventus striker Fabrizio Ravanelli.

They almost bought instant success, reaching their first League Cup Final, but lost to Leicester City after a replay. Then they reached the FA Cup Final for the first time and lost that as well, this time to their nemesis Chelsea. Despite all this almost cup success, Boro got relegated again. Bounced straight back again though as runners up and got to the League Cup Final again, and got beat by Chelsea again.

Steve McClaren took over from Robson in 2001 and in 2004 led them to their first major trophy, the League Cup, beating Bolton Wanderers 2-1 in the final, with goals from Joseph-Désiré Job and a Boudewijn Zenden penalty. This qualified them for the UEFA Cup. They qualified again for the next two seasons, eventually reaching the 2006 final, which they lost 0-4 to Sevilla.

McClaren left to become England manager at the end of the season, to be replaced by the then club captain and now England boss himself, Gareth Southgate. He had them comfortably mid table, but despite a positive start to the 2008/09 season, they got relegated to the Championship. They reached the 2015 Play Offs, losing to Norwich in the final, but then got promoted as runners up the following season under the managership of Aitor Karanka. That was just another one season at the top table of English football and they were relegated just as Huddersfield Town were getting promoted.

They did make the Play Offs in 2018, but lost 1-0 on aggregate to Aston Villa. they missed the Play Offs by a single point in the next season, then had two seasons of mid table mediocrity.

Head to Head



Boro lead the head to head with 44 wins to Town's 34, with 20 draws.

Last season's win at the Riverside on Easter Monday was our first ever win there, at the eigthth attempt. That's seven league defeats, one draw and a League Cup defeat. And now one win.

Before they moved, we still found it difficult to win there and our most recent win in Middlesbrough prior to last season was at Ayresome Park when on New Years Day 1986, Liverpool and Wales legend Joey Jones scored for us in a 1-0 win.

Here you gothen. Last season's win, with Naby Sarr and Jordan Rhodes on the score sheet.

Wednesday night's line up at Wigan:

1 Zack Steffen - USA international keeper on loan from Man City.
14 Tommy Smith - Town legend.
6 Dael Fry - Boro born centre back.
26 Darragh Lenihan - Irish defender signed from Blackburn in the summer.
2 Isaiah Jones - Wing back from Tooting & Mitcham.
25 Matt Crooks - Another Town reject who's better than what's replaced him.
16 Jonny Howson - We all hate L***s scum.
30 Hayden Hackney - A young un from Redcar.
3 Ryan Giles - Wing backon loan from Wolves.
29 Chuba Akpom - Ex Arsenal striker, signed from Greek club PAOK
18 Duncan Watmore - Always scores against us.

Subs:
4 Alex Mowatt - We all hate L***s scum.
8 Riley McGree - Aussie international midfielder.
9 Rodrigo Muniz - Brazilian striker on loan from Fulham.
15 Anfernee Dijksteel - Dutch midfielder who came from Charlton Athletic.
21 Marcus Forss - Finnish striker from Brentford.
23 Liam Roberts - Reserve keeper from Walsall.
27 Marc Bola - Loves to boogie, get it on and ride a white swan




Middlesbrough in popular culture: Last time, I posted videos of the Boro classics, Chris Rea, Chris Kamara, Chubby Brown and Bob Mortimer. This time we've got Paul Rodgers of Bad Company, Free and Queen fame.



And a young lass called Georgina Anderson, who's no longer with us. She recorded this when she was 15 in April 2013. She was a Boro fan and they played this at the stadium, whilst she was attending her final game before passing away with liver cancer in November that year.






'ow to get theere an' wheere to sup: The post code for sat nav is TS3 6RS. That's if you're parking at the ground itself. There are limited numbers which can be pre booked, but it's a bit pricey. That's what we did the last time we went there. Quite a while back that was though. Had to get there early as well because they close the roads around the stadium close to kick off time.

The best way to get there would obviously be by boat. Along the Aire and Calder Navigation to the River Ouse and then the Humber, then up the coast to the River Tees and park up next to the stadium. If you haven't got a boat, it is still possible to get there by car. Follow the signposts marked "Riverside Stadium". Or get Google Maps up. There's no need really these days to get out the Ordnance Survey maps.

Train? Well it's just over a mile to walk from the station in the town centre. You'll be looking for the local Wetherspoon's, no doubt. It's a five minute walk from the station, in the other direction to the ground though. It's called the Swatters Carr, on Linthorpe Road.

If you want a beer close to the ground, there's the Six Medals, which is a Marston's on one of those retail parks, next to a Costa and a KFC.

Now if you want somewhere nice to go pre match, there is RSPB Saltholme Nature Reserve just across the river. Get up there early enough, it'll be well worth your while. You'll have to go the long way around though, The Transporter Bridge is closed due to essential repair work.

The bridge does have a visitor centre if you fancy a visit to that instead, or as well as. Oh, hold on. It's only open Monday to Friday from 9:30am until 4pm.

RSPB Saltholme does have the essentials, that is, a visitor centre, cafe and shop. Some of the birds you can observe from the hides are common terns, yellow wagtails, reed buntings, reed warblers, water rails and lapwings. And they will have to watch out themselves for the peregrine falcons.

Their opening times are......

Nature reserve: open daily
9.30am-4pm, 1 November-31 March.
9.30am-5pm, 1 April-31 October.

Car park: open daily
9.30am-4pm, 1 November-31 March.
9.30am-5pm, 1 April-31 October.

Visitor Centre: open daily
9.30am-4pm, 1 November-31 March.
9.30am-5pm, 1 April-31 October.

Shop: open daily
10am-4pm, 1 November-31 March.
10am-4.30pm, 1 April-31 October.

Café: open daily
9.30am, last orders 3.15pm, 1 November-31 March.
9.30am, last orders 3.30pm, 1 April-31 October.

Toilets: open daily
9.30am-4pm, 1 November-31 March.
9.30am-5pm, 1 April-31 October.

Recent form - last 6 matches:

Town 0-1 PNE
Rotherham 2-1 Town
Town 2-0 Hull
Luton 3-3 Town
Reading 3-1 Town
Town 1-0 Cardiff

Wigan 1-4 Boro
Boro 1-2 Blackburn
Millwall 2-0 Boro
Boro 1-0 Birmingham
Coventry 1-0 Boro
Boro 0-0 Rotherham

Town are bottom of the Championship table with 11 points. Boro are 20th with 16.

Leading scorers:

Terriers:
Jordan Rhodes (4)
Danny Ward (3)

Smoggies:
Chubka Akpom (4)
Duncan Watmore (4)





Our roving reporter went with his tape recorder, down to the Millers Oils High Performance Complex today to cover the latest training session led by Mark Fotheringham. Here's the transcript from what occured.......

Right guys, we'll play with the wind, downhill, this way. Nicholls, you're in midfield. Come on.

Who are you today, sir? Liverpool?

Don't you know your club colours? Manchester United, this.

Are you playing Denis Law, striker?

No. Charlton today, lad. All over the field. Too cold for striker.

Charlton's not as quick ont' turn as Law, is he?

You tryin' to tell me about football, Hogg?

No. l...

You trying to tell me? Anyway, Denis Law's in the wash this week.

Nobody's in goal, sir. No goalie, sir.

Who's in the goals?

Nakayama, sir.

Hey, Japanese boy, what position are you playing?

Don't know, sir. Left wing back?

How can you be left wing back there, ye wee numpty? In the goals.

I can't...

Now's your chance to learn. In the goals. Quick about it. We're Manchester United. Who are you?

Spurs, then there's no clash of colours.

Right, then, it's Manchester United versus Spurs in this cup tie here at Old Trafford. And it's the fair-haired, slightly balding Charlton to kick off.
Come on, Russell. What you playin' at, lad? Yer should be on the move, lad. lt was at yer feet!
Cross it, Sorba. Quickly. Where's the rest o' my team?
Come on, quickly, Um Betty. I've never seen such slack work in my life.

What's that for, sir?

Slack work, lad. Slack work. Hit that ball up the field, Um Betty.

I have to keep this shirt on after.

Cross the ball! And Charlton goes through, and...

Oh, never! Never!

Penalty!

Never.

Who do you think you are? Bremner? Penalty.

No, it weren't, sir!

Outside that semicircle.

Shall I take it, sir?

I take the penalties on this team, Jordan lad. No one moves till this ball's kicked.
Just watch this, Billokka... Pillocka... Blockavitch... big guy!
You moved. You moved. Put it back.
Penalty.
Behind the 18-yard line.

Tha better save it, Bilokapic! Else I'll drop tha.

He moved!

I didn't move, sir.

The referee's decision is final.

You should have done it the first time.

And that, boys, is how to take a penalty. Look one way and kick the other.
Come on, Turton, lad. And Bobby Charlton has equalised for Manchester United, and the score is one goal each.

That fat twat! He wants bleedin' milkin'. That big fat git!

What did you say, Hogg? What did you say?

Nowt, sir.

Get off! In that changin' room! Get off!

I didn't say nowt, sir.

Off! I won't tolerate that on a football pitch.

That's our captain, sir.

I don't care who he is. You play this game like gentlemen. Right inside! An early bath for you, Hogg lad.
I'll bounce the ball up.

It's not fair! They never get sent off!

I shall be up there in a minute!

They never get sent off, sir.

Off! What d'yous think yous two are doing? Boyle. Helik. What are yous doing?

Practising, sir.

Show me what yous are doing.
Japanese! Japanese! What do you think you are, lad? An ape?

All he needs now is a banana.

Get down. I'll make you red hot.

Thank you. Now, for my next trick...

I'll show you a trick! Get back in that goal! What's up?

That hurt. That ball, it's hard as iron.

Ar, I know. It's like a stone, innit?

I'm bloody freezin'. My feet are like blocks o' ice. Me knees, look at 'em. They're goin' pale. Look at t'colour. It's gone white. Oh, I wish l'd brought a note.

Great goal, that, sir.

I'll give yer "great goal", wee guy.

Spurs into the sixth round of t'Cup.

Sixth round? I'll give you six of the best.

Lost again, sir?

Fetch my tracksuit.

Better luck next time.

Disgusting!

[theo_luddite]

No laughing matter really the way things are going. I said be patient and there'll be some heads rolling in the Prima Donna League by the time the World Cup comes around, but no, we rush in and bring someone in who's turning out to be a bigger prick (allegedly) than Brian (Bobby Charlton) Glover in Kes.

[Devongone]

These pre-match posts are BRILLIANT!

Everything is fine now. You can sack Fotheringham and appoint the idiot that is Stevie Gerard. After all you did give his dreadful cousin a game for quite a while ..... he could help too. I shouldn't even have thought this - it might happen!

If the team were anywhere near as good as these posts, Brereton Diaz would be crossing the Pennines, or even the Andes, to beg you for a game.

What you really need is for all your idiots behind the scenes to be dismissed and cast away without further trace and replaced by a coalition of true Terriers. You've far more ability within your ranks than the hangers-on who are dragging you down.

[theo_luddite]

Spoiler alert.

Good to see Chicken asking the questions about Hogg and Fotheringham in the presser.

[WakeyTerrier]

Spoiler alert.

Good to see Chicken asking the questions about Hogg and Fotheringham in the presser.

Yes, and he's lied about it saying everything is ok when I know for a fact it happened

[theo_luddite]

I doubt he's going to admit to what has happened behind what are supposed to be closed doors.

[WakeyTerrier]

I doubt he's going to admit to what has happened behind what are supposed to be closed doors.

I get that, don't worry he'll be gone soon enough if Tuesday is anything to go by.

[jjamez]

wont be the first lie he's told. i imagine there was a few said in his initial interviews

[Lord Snooty]

[Lord Snooty]

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