[theo_luddite]

The McGalpharmsmiths Stadium
Somewhere Down the Crazy River
Not far from Leeds Road
HD1 by the ski slope

What do you mean it's STILL not built yet?
The wax on my ski's is going to be oxidised to **** if you don't get on with it soon.

Kick-off 15:00 UK Time
Saturday 30/10/21

This will also be Town's Memorial game for Servicemen and Women being the nearest home game to Remembrance Sunday.



Happy Halloween's Eve

Anyone tried The Street Zone before a match yet?



Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg, and owlet's wing,—
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble

No? Me neither, but apparently there are good deals this weekend at your local Aldi and Lidl for the above ingredients according to The Heff.



Good to see him in full shopping gear.

I trust you've all waxed, lubed and serviced your broomsticks in readiness for all those little brats coming round knocking on your doors on Sunday night.



A fine full box of Quality Street if ever I saw one - but if she knocks on my door I'll be darn tha pab so the little sods she brings with her don't annoy me.

The Match

"No one likes you we don't care"



Not sure any other club's fans do either.
The only club who's fans have invaded the pitch at Wemberlee AND been awarded "Family Club of the Year" by the EFL??? 

Nuff sed.

The Lions cross Old Father Thames, darn in that there Sarf Larndan, and travel up the M1 to Gods own County for Saturday's match. Both teams are on 21 points along with almost 1/3rd of the division (5th to 11th) and it's Town's er, (massive?) goal difference of +1 that puts us in 8th and Millwall (gd 0) in 10th. Town have also scored 3 goals more (18 v 15) but Millwall have only lost 3 times this season and only once away. They are the original draw specialists of the division along with Luton and Both Ends who have since caught them up, all having 6 draws out of the 14 played so far, but Miiiwwwaaawww have won 4 of their last 5. 

To Cockanee or not to Cockanee - that is the question?

Nar then me ol' china, a quick history lesson



An the raarf taps af Larndan, cor wha' a soite?

History of The East London Cockney

Although some foreigners and people living in other places in the UK, assume that all Londoners are cockneys, this isn’t technically close to 100% true.

What is a true Cockney?

You can technically only be a Cockney if you were born in the East End of the city. To be really specific, you must have been born within the sound of Bow bells. These are the bells of St Mary-le-Bow church in Cheapside, not a million millimetres from St. Pauls Cathedral. Actually under 300,000mm give or take a Paula Radcliffe like diversion for a pee in the gutter. A survey of the bells and how far their ringing might have carried was done in 2000.



This actually gives more scope to be a Cockney than you might think, as they would have been heard six miles to the east, four miles to the west, five miles to the north and three miles to the south. (Makes no sense to me either so don't ask). Dick Whittington, according to legend, heard the bells in Highgate in North London just before he got on the A1 (or Great North Way) but he then turned his bike round and came home to Highbury where he founded Arsenal Football Club - well OK maybe not, as they originally come from Woolwich Arsenal.

Oh no they don't! Oh yes they do! They're behind you!!!!!
They're behind about half the Prima Donna League at the moment, but I digress.

Well, 'appen as well he did turn round. Dick Turpin and his mate Robin of Loxley were waiting for him in a layby just after a roundabout on the A1 outside Mansfield (allegedly) had he ventured further north.

(I thought "home" for him was in Gloucestershire? - theo/Ed).

However, given those approximate boundaries, Millwall on the Isle of Dogs, their spiritual and actual home, and their current home in Bermondsey are obviously full of cockanees.



Where's the pie 'n' mash and curried eel shops then? Sorry, jellied. Jellied and curried anyone?

However, some say it doesn't count sarf of the river, some say it does. Here we go with that panto thing again.

What does it take to be a Cockney?

It is thought that the word Cockney originates from the Norman word for a sugar cake, cocaigne.

So there you have it, they are all coke heads. If Norman Sugar Cake isn't the most obvious euphemism for Columbian Marching Powder ever, I'll plait a plate of curried jellied eels.
No wonder they talk in rhyming slang that nobody else other than a bunch of crims in Botany Bay, c/a Sydney Harbour Bridge, can understand.

Read the full story and some interesting comments here including some stuff about Pearly Kings and Pearly Queens. They ain't all cockanees me ol' china.

https://www.eastlondonhistory.co.uk/hist...d-cockney/

While you read that I'm off darn tha cruisa (or rub-a-dub) far a pigs.

If you're back, so am I, so I'll continue.

On the tellybox

Not showing anywhere at the moment other than iPlayer.
What is the EFL thinking?
I mean - who around the world wants to watch Fulham v West Brom or Smoke v Cardiff?
Oh! Other games are available. Check your local provider and complain like f##k that we aren't on more often.

Latest news

Good news for those in the Cowshed, the club are finally looking at putting a lid on the 25 year old (ish and maybe change) alfresco half-time pie and a pint experience. I know the long term plan was designed with putting another layer on that end, but we'll be pulling this stadium down before that happens. Meanwhile the sleet the snow, the rain will continue to top up your drinks and the wind will help to cool the volcano like contents of your pies.

Out Injured/Suspended/Isolating

Long term sick and other invalids are a bit nearer to learning how to tie their own shoe laces again and operate their own mobility scooters. Watch this space.
Some of them will learn how to stand, run and kick a ball by Christmas, allegedly.

Surely a big improvement on their footballing ability prior to buying a sicknote from Zoe in Fartown, or so it would seem.

Back training but not oven ready/Back in the frame

Pipa is back training after surgery to apparently put his left and right gonads back where they were originally. He could be as oven ready as a Brexit deal sometime next month. Mipo has had a full 90 minutes in the B team. I reckon he'll need a few more to get match fit. As and when we do bring him back, passing the ball to him wouldn't hurt now would it?

Levi Colwill, when he gets up in the morning, is available to put his new blue jeans on, having served his one match ban for collecting 5 Christmas cards before Halloween.

Last time out

Well what do ya know, we didn't have a midweek game, so we lost ages ago (or so it seems) on the sands of Boscombe beach in the shade of Boscombe pier v Bornmuff.



Dodgy liner and ref decisions would have made it 1-1 if overruled by the none existent EFL VAR system but in all reality, they were a tad better than us.

Miiiwwwaaawww meanwhile had a handy 2:1 home win v Smoke-on-Stench.



My usual provider hasn't caught up yet 



How they line up

Like us they mostly play 3 or 5 at the back and it all gets a bit confused from their on up. 3-4-2-1? 3-4-3? 3-5-2?
3-7-0? - oh no that's L666s, sorry.

Anyway, don't be surprised if its 4-3-2-1 with an exposed lad up front on his own. (Am I allowed to say exposed lad on his own?)




Do they get a Dusty Bin for that formation?



Hang on. Is that rhyming slang for win? Just asking, for a friend. 

Tables, Form & all that





Innies and Outies

You might recognise Bugsy Malone and OOOH Benik Afobe



Who's banging 'em in

Mostly a lad called Jed Wallace, and the lad seemingly permanently on loan to any club that will have him from Smoke-on-Stench called OOOH Benik Afobe. I'm still trying to work out why they seemingly hijacked his move to Wolves in the first place when they have since hardly ever played him.



The Miiwwaaawww Musical Box

I had a big enough problem finding anyone that mattered last season on my thread against us at theirs.

So here's another Style Council jobbie.



No idea whether this guy has owt to do with Millwall tbh, but I like it, like it, yes I do, and he's from somewhere in that there Larndan.



Did I fool you there? No? Who's your daddy?

And just to rub it in, most of these guys like Charlton.



Oh well, it's not far from Bermondsey, like Bratfud's not far from 'uddersfield.

They can't all lose

I've already mentioned Fluham v Baggies, not than any of us can catch either of them right now. Beyond that there's surprisingly few games between those of us all on the same points or there abouts.



We've played 'em before

We're a squirt in front here. Strange results last season - we won 0-3 at theirs and lost 0-1 at ours.
Based on recent history - 'owt can 'appen. Nowt unusual in this division is it to be fair?



Next up?

Peterborough away on Tuesday then Cardiff away next weekend, with whoever their shiny new manger/coach is.
Only the 2nd time that's happened to us so far this season.
I'd say at least another 3 will do this before they play us before the season is over (or maybe Christmas) based on previous seasons.

Pressers

Careless on HTTV and Toffolo on Radio Local



https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0b11zn4

Rowett's Review

https://londonnewsonline.co.uk/bennett-m...ield-trip/

Kwik Kwiz's and Antigrams?

See next weeks threads

[Lord Snooty]

Nicely ones, theo. Thanks for the lesson in Cockanese. Likely being darn Fenn Street, me owld china.

---

Good musical choices as well. Wish somebody would explain to the pre match team at the JSS what proper music is.

[theo_luddite]

Tell me about it - play any old shite at full volume to drown out the fans singing. It's called taking control of the atmosphere, so the delicate little souls at home don't hear anything rude or otherwise.

Drives me nuts. You never hear half of the chants the England fans sing on radio or TV (often for a darned good reason).
If they can shut them out, they can do it at any stadium if they really want to.

[theo_luddite]

[SHEP_HTAFC]

Great result.....not the best game to watch but ok.
Hogg scoring again just makes me laugh that m'Lud Snoots has to pay out another £5.

[theo_luddite]

Hoggy, Hoggy, Hoggy.
5, 5, 5

[jjamez]

Not the greatest of games but did what we had to.

I'm still to be convinced by sinani, I don't think he does enough or offers enough, I think after playing in Luxembourg for a few seasons, the championship was too big a step last year when he joined Norwich and it's too big a step for him this season, a loan at league one would have been better for him. I think we looked far more lively when koroma came on for him.

[theo_luddite]

Post match on Radio Local

Careless and Sorba the Taff

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0b19prn

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0b19qw9

[Lord Snooty]

Great win, well grafted. Some outstanding last ditch tackles from Pearson and another fiver from me thanks to Jonny the Hogg.
Happy days are here again.

[Amelia Chaffinch]

It was alright.