[theo_luddite]

Moved to Sunday afternoon by a bunch of Skysters
25th November 2018
Kick off 16:00, gi' or tek an advert brek
Moulinex Stadium
Next to Asda
Waterloo Road
nr. Wolverhampton Ring Road
WV1 4QR

Aw roight ower kid? 'ow bin ya?

Ah bollocks, I haven't enough time to bugger abart wi' Black Cuntree dialect for this un, yam'll after tek it as it cums fur this un yam'll. If yer dowunt liyuk it then yam a right proper wassock yam.

Any road, a thru'penny bus ride for me this 'un. Every pub in tarn to drink in afore I get to the match, could be proper kalied afore I get there. Still, it might be a bit cowd so probably not a bad idea to have the odd winter warmer.

The Goss
Na'then, sithi, what's been gooin' on darn the funny farm that is the home of the Black Cuntree Dingles for the past couple of years? Well Bob the Builder, who bought the club for £10 off local hero Jack Hayward with a promise to invest £millions upped and left after finally getting pissed off with the dogs abuse he was copping for for awarding himself building contracts to rebuild and renovate stands that weren't that old and taking the club from Prima Donna League to League 1 status through a perceived lack of player investment. He sold out to a Chinese Launderlee/Takeaway owner, like every bugger else down here but them Wassall lads, known as Fosun for a reported £45 million in July 2016. Or £30 million if you believe the Expressed Milky Bar down here. Sorry, Express and Star. After making millions of Yen in Commy China, they needed somewhere outside to launder their brass and where better than the part of England where many of their mates were doing the same thing in a bunch of other Chinese Landerlee's?  Two number 69's with flied lice and your sheets washed? No ploblem sah!

The major ultimate shareholders of Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club are a pair of wishy washy lads (oh, yes they are) called Guo Guangchang - Chairman of Fosun Group and Wang Qunbin - CEO of Fosun Group, who between them indirectly own the majority shareholding in the Club. However, the face of Fosun and club Executive Chairman is a bloke called Xi, Jeff Xi to be exact, (pronounced and often spelt Shi locally, as Black Cuntree fowk can't pronounce Xi. Now had he been Greek, and his name had been Xish, then the kebab munchers down here would have had no problem with it what so ever.

They've got their fingers in a few pies, encouraged by the not very Commy Chinese Leader, who knows a good tax fiddle when he sees one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fosun_International

Anyroad, he's been given licence to spend silly money, mostly on players from super-agent Jorge Mende's stable from and around Portugal and other Mediterranean lands on funny money contracts. More on that later. Any road, as a result the favourite song on the Wolves terraces these days is this one.



Expect to hear them belt it out on the South Bank after every goal, so maybe once then (more of that later too).

My First Time Here

Back in 1900-and-frozen-to-death, and one of only 4 games played in Britain I think, let alone England that day, me and me mates made our way down to the frozen wastelands of Wolverhampton for an FA Cup match. We were stood, or rather frozen to the spot, on the far side of the South Bank as it was back then, somewhere near the back - well as near to the bar as we could get to be honest.



The old wooden main stand (to the west and the similar designed north stand were shut, deemed pretty much derelict, and the then brand spanking new John Ireland Stand (now The Steve Bull Stand) was built nearer to the town centre than it was the pitch. The beer was cold and awful, the game was played on ice skates, we drew 1-1 and won the replay 3-1 back at ours after we'd thawed out a bit a couple of weeks later.

3 and a bit years later I was invited down for an interview for a job. Half of the interview was held in The Great Western, at last some decent beer I thought, having suffered the crap that was and still is Banks's on my first visit, I took the job and I've been here for the last 30 years (give or take the 7 in Canada). I was 60 last month, it seems like more than a life time let alone half of it but for the most part I've enjoyed it more than I thought I ever would. Meeting a fellow Town fan in the first 12 months helped, though he's now gone over to the dark side and has sadly become Dingled.

The Moulinex has been rebuilt, the North Bank twice, though what wizard of engineering could build a stand where no matter where you sit you get wet when it rains is beyond me. This is their view from the North Bank, as explained to me a few seasons back.



Google Translate can't cope with dialects by the way so don't bother trying. It can barely work on sentences that are more than 5 words long so don't expect miracles.

Unlike the last time when they got promoted to the Prima Donna League, and more of them watched for nowt on dodgy feeds in the local pubs than went to the match, they mostly sell out the home allocation this season. We had 4 blocks of the Steve Bull Lower allocated when I bought mine, not sure if we've since taken more but thanks to those Skysters at Shy TV, I doubt we'll sell out for this one. So much for those moaning twats supporters that say they can't get away tickets.

Manager-go-round

Fosun came in, around the time Jenny Kackett had brought them back from the wilderness to the Championship in May 2016. Xi, and the board of Fosun, congratulated him, said he was the man to take them forward, he got the well known board's vote of confidence and a week later was nursing his P45. Well, it was bound to happen, Mende's had far better managers lined up for far more brass. Lads like Walter Zenga that lasted until October, Paul Lambert, who lasted while the end of the season (he did that at Stoke too last season if memory serves me correct) before El Nuno came in and on the back of spending brass like no Wolves Manager has been allowed to before, has got them to where they are now.

Wolves haven't spent much !!!! - So I was told t'other week by some numpty that tried to tell me they are worth more than Man Utd as a club.

OK, Season 2016-17 - a paltry £32.5 million invested including these lads after buying Connor Coady off Town the season before.

While these lads were shown the door


That season they were sat in 21st place around Christmas time and beyond while another club that really had spent fookhall was annoying the crap out of the pundits and clubs like Newcastle and Brighton that really had spent a fortune. Can't think who they were right now, but it will come to me. It was all causing a lot of turmoil in Tettenhall, believe you me.

2017-18 - they went for it - investing another £22 million and giving El Nuno his head.

Again they didn't recoup much


An attractive brand of football, and lots of goals to boot brought the Dingles back to the Prima Donna League. Not without controversy though as many fellow Championship Clubs protested about the relationship with Mende's and how they were bending the FFP Rules (well, they wouldn't be the first would they?). The FL investigated, and said nowt was wrong, so everything was alright there then, (cough). The potential Turmoil in Tettenhall was avoided for the rest of the season.

Not satisfied with that amount of spending, they decided they wanted to crash the top half right from the off - so they did a Fulham.


The thick end of another £100 million, though a funny thing happened to Benik Afobe on his way back to Muddled England - he forgot to get off the train in Wolverhampton and nearly ended up in Crewe - well, Smoke-on-Stench to be honest. WTF that was all about we'll never know, but having burned his bridges once in Wolverhampton, it was probably for the best.


How bin 'em?
Well they set off like a house that had been on fire and the embers were being dampened down a bit, although taking points off Everton and Man City in their first 3 games soon had them riding the promoted club wave with a 6 game unbeaten run getting plonkers from Perton and Pendeford, not to mention folk of a certain persuasion from Wednesfield and Willenhall dreaming of European Football next season. Yeah, we were singing those daft songs the season before too. A bit of common sense might have set in in some places given their 4 match run with only a point, (albeit a decent one at Arsenil) but don't kid yourselves. They should be beating the likes of Huddersfield is the story that the afore mentioned hamshankers of Wednesfield and Dingles of Dunstall are coming out with, well we'll see shall we?


That starting run was helped by El Nuno being able to pick for the most part, the same starting 11 for the first half a dozen games. Coady is now the only player having played every match as injuries and form start to bight into his psychy.



Current form


Table


Head2Head
Here's what will add to the turmoil in Tettenhall - they've hardly beaten us in ages. They remember battering us at ours, but can't remember us doing it to them at theirs. Strange folk these Dingles. Short memories brought on by years of drinking Banks's beer I'm afraid. Stick to Holden's lads and lasses, you know it makes sense. Rebranding that Banks's shite as Nuno's Ale really isn't helping you either.



Last time out




They've now used a similar number of players as Town, though their squad is now so bloated they've got 5 lads who are still looking to kick a ball in anger, whereas for us only Super Colin Quaner and the young lad Schofield, 3rd choice for keeper, have yet to put a toe over the white line.

So who's banging 'em in?

Well, there's a lot of talk about how they play fast, expansive football and score freely - well, they did last season. Other than a couple of games, they are actually averaging about a goal a game, and conceding the same this season (see above).



Not that we've owt much to brag about yet mind, but with Mounie finally getting off the mark for the season with Benin, let's hope he brings that with him on Sunday.

Team News

Wagbo has told everyone they have to compete for a shirt. Most of the squad should be fit and available, though Zanka is serving a one match ban.
https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/sport/foo...s-15442562

El Nuno has a long term injury on his hands, and a naughty boy to deal with too.

https://www.expressandstar.com/sport/foo...six-weeks/
https://www.expressandstar.com/sport/foo...es-return/

Any more pearls of wisdom will be posted or linked when available.

How to get there, beer, pies, pees and parking - usual place to look.
https://www.footballgroundguide.com/leag...erers.html

Many pubs in the city centre will have signs saying home fans only, some enforce it more than others., can depend on what you are wearing. The 'spoons will ask you for a match ticket, one of the few that does enforce it. Away fans and no tickets don't often get in before the match. Many pubs around and beyond the ring road will take your brass willingly.

Restaurants in the city centre are often booked solid on match days.

Travel news

M6 - A worse nightmare than last time - 50 mph more or less from the M62 and then Knutsford to Wolvo with a few short 70mph blasts to blow the cobwebs out of your carbs.
M62 - the never ending nightmare of the M60 has been moved to J10-12 of the M62.
My advice - if you can take the M1, there's a short 50mph section by Nottingham and the A42/M42, the rest is done and dusted.

M1 North - Watford Gap to Milton Keynes - maybe take the M40/M42 past Brum Airport as an alternative?
M5 - J1-J2 - refurbing the overpass, if you're coming up from further south, maybe, just maybe, come off at J6 and use the A449 through Kiddymonster.
A449 - roadworks just south of J2 M54, more or less finished, shouldn't be a problem unless they work double time Sunday to finish them off. Layout is a bit different, extra lanes put in for turning right, new traffic lights, lower speed limits and stupid flashing signs that tell you the limit is now 30mph when you walk past them let alone drive at anything approaching walking speed.

Stay out of the bus lanes too. Camera's are on them and you will be mightily fined by the City Council.

Otherwise let's have a fun, bostin afternoon and get some more points chaps (and chapesses).

Highlights of Wagbo's presser




The Radio Local Version
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06snb4z few different questions and a bit longer.

[SHEP_HTAFC]

Brilliant thread theo....top stuff.
Think this game could be a nightmare for us. They have a lot of attacking flair and speed and creativity...our defence is hardly Atletico Madrid.
I've predicted 3-0 but it could be more.
For me this game is the one......get a result and we stay up....lose and I think we are down.

[WBA-Josh]

Bostin luck Huddersfield.

[Lord Snooty]

Aye, a fair bostin thread ar theo.

That cup game you went to was also my first visit to Moulinex. I think they'd plummeted to the 4th division by then whilst we were resurgent under the mighty Buxton.
It were a shithole then. Last time we went was the time Jermaine Beckford all but relegated them. Much better then and had us tea in Asda afterwards.

[theo_luddite]

Cheers Josh, Shep, Snoots. Ar cud 'ave throwun a few mowar bostin's in there I suppose but I you got the gist. I was probably having mine in the Western Snoots while you were in Asda. Difference being mine would have been liquid. It's hard work scofffing a pork cob or some other scram and supping a pint when your stood cheek by jowl with half of Wolverhampton, so I try to concentrate on the important stuff. Hops are a fruit and count towards your 5 a day. You heard it hear first.

[Beefy 1965]

That's one he'll of a thread
Brilliant
Just one more thing now,
Let me enjoy my Sunday dinner Why watching you udders smash the mighty Dingles or more commonly known in these parts as....
The cack in the Gold and Black...
Although now I'd say it's a horrible yellow colour

[theo_luddite]

Highlights of Wagbo's presser off the Town website added to the foot of the OP.

[BaggieMan]

Oroite, oi the Baggieman think it’s a grate post yow now!
Now go un give them D1ngle5 a gud whuppin loik the dogs deserve.

[Lord Snooty]

Bottom of the table now, but up to 14th when we win tomorrow.

[theo_luddite]

Can't beat the power of positive drinking, er, thinking.

---

Just posted a missing link, speaking of which, one just walked into the pub. Nice bloke but supports Smoke. Thinks England underachieved this year and can't remember there being as many International breaks in the last few seasons. Also said Butland wasn't the answer to Stoke's goalkeeping problems when they signed him, now he can't believe they might let him go. Brain full of oatcakes this lad.