[theo_luddite]

Saturday 7th March
Kick-off 15:00 or so.
Underneath the Arches
Where we dream our dreams of home
Just off Leeds Road
HD1 something or other.
Can't miss it, big blue stands, big white arches and fancy Premier League Floodlights.

The Intro
So, in a week when English clubs fell out of The Chumpions League like domino's and the owner of all of Liverpool's remaining Treacle and Jam Butty Mines popped his diddy clogs, the lads from Croydon and its neighbourhoods are in Town this Saturday. Oh, it takes me back, all the way back to the first game of the season.

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Croydon?
A beautiful day, we had beers on the way and all for under a grand you know,
But on the way back we couldn't find jack so we opened a bottle of bitter,
Singin' a few of our favourite songs as t'Town fans went wild.

I, mi'sen and me, drank our liquid tea, and said goodbye to ol' Larndan,
Then on the train back, I said for the craic, ain't it a shame to go home an' all?
Wouldn't it be grand to have cash on demand and to win like this for ever?
Oh, it makes me feel ill, when I think of Anfield and the lack of nouse.

Didn't we have a lovely time the day we went to Croydon?
A beautiful day, we had beers on the way and all for under a grand you know,
But on the way back we couldn't find jack so we opened a bottle of bitter,
Singin' a few of our favourite songs as t'Town fans went wild.

(Apologies to Debbie Cook and Fiddlers Dram, add your own verse and chorus).

After spending all last Saturday, Knock, Knock, Knocking on Swansea's Door, and the misearable gets never invited us in once, I expect to see Palace in our half far more often this Saturday than Swansea ventured over their 18 yard line last week. That should at least give as a chance of getting in via the front door, back door or the windows at the side.

Woy got'em Wockin in the Aisles again.


Separated at birth?
Palace Mascot Kayla and Palace Manager Wockin' Woy

The atmosphere at Palace was somewhat subdued last August, at least on 3½ sides of the ground, as Frank de Boer tried to get Palace to play possession football and rein in their up and at'em style. 7 goaless and pointless games later (think he only lasted 5 of them, but may be wrong), with P45 in hand, not even Sarfampton gave him a sideways glance as they appointed Smoke City's most recent failure Saprky Hughes as their new manager this week.

In came local lad made good, Wockin' Woy Hodgson, with a pedigree that has only been blemished by failing to learn Scouse quick enough so the foreign players could understand him at Anfield and failing to get an England side to play any kind of recognisable football in two sets of finals, despite qualifying unbeaten for both of them. (Or there about's).

It took a little while, but once they got their first win under their belt, a 2:1 win at home to Chelski of all teams, they only lost 4 of their next 19 games and the Palace fans were back making a racket and Er, Feeling, Glad All Over again. Then the wheels fell off  again. Injuries, suspension, reversion to type, Christain Benteke's inability to hit barn doors, cows arses, hold a banjo has made the guy an expensive luxury, call it how you like. Apparently they are willing to pay a Chinese club £20 million to take him off their hands this Summer if I read that right.

So right now, having hit the dizzy heights of 12th at one point, and being above Town as went on our own abysmal run of six defeats on the trot, they have fallen back into the bottom 3, 3 places and 4 points behind Town.

The Roller Coaster Rides
Us

Them


The League Table


Ony two draws in the last 7 games, including Chelski getting their own back and former Town loanee Martin Kelly scoring one for them into the bargain hasn't helped.

The Form Table


Last Time Out
Despite Transfermarkt having him down as injured, Wilfred Zaha actually made an apearance last week, and Woy is hoping to have a number of other long term casualties back ready for duty this weekend. Just our luck that.



With Danny Williams having broken his leg stump in training, he'll be out for the rest of the season (as reported elsewhere on the Mork and Mindy thread) so there'll be at least one change on the bench.

Snoots and AmChaff on a day off, a couple of season's back.

Wouldn't be surprised if Wagbo goes with the same starting 11 as last week, I also wouldn't be surprised either if he changes the whole bloody lot of them.



Who's banging 'em in?


A defensive midfielder as top scorer only means one thing - free kicks and corners. Our achilles heel.

In case you need reminding, the lads with banjo syndrome in our side.



And finally - They can't both win

Well this weekend, most of them can't actually play. Something to do with the BBC organising the FA Cup 6th Round. The things they'll do these days to show some football on the nations favourite sports free channel.



So with only 3 other games, and only one involving two trap door rivals, it's a chance to put more points on the board, more space above the trap door and leave those with what will be games in hand to worry about fixture congestion.

The Outro
Now, it was ar'kid that pointed out we do a lot better against Larndan sides from the suburbs than we do against those that live a bit closer to the river. So with that in mind, this weeks ear worm was very nearly The Pet Shop Boys and Suburbia (you're all humming it now ain'tcha?), but I decided I'd go for this one instead.



Points please Wagbo - Wise Words if he, or Woy, say any will be added later. Have fun this weekend.

Added stuff

Alan, Alan Lee talks to Radio Leeds
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0618p63

Our pitch apparently is heavily infested - "Wagner says the pitch is fine and has been heavily infested in"
https://www.examiner.co.uk/sport/footbal...e-14419332
oh, and Lossl signed on full time too  

Wagbo's Wise Words
If you've 40 minutes of your life to waste -
If you've only 3 or 4 -

Lossl


Hoggy


Woy speaks to the Cwoydon Advertiser
(Same standard of journo's as the Unexamined - be warned)
https://www.croydonadvertiser.co.uk/spor...ve-1341720

Woy if you like like watching adverts and have 20 odd minutes to waste.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MQLsc0B1m1Y

Link only, I get busted again for too many video's

[Lord Snooty]

Haha. Brilliant theo. Best one yet.

What's the chances of this one going ahead, I wonder. Snow warning has been upgraded to Amber, meaning a 90% chance of heavy snow in Huddersfield (according to the Unexamined). No doubt the pitch will be playable, but worrabart folk getting there?

[jjamez]

If folk can't get there they will have to call it off for safety reasons

[theo_luddite]

Glad you like the family photo Snoots and the rest of the thread.

The young lady on BBC Radio WUM this morning read out a Yellow Snow Warning, her words not mine.

Now, having spent a few winters in Canada, bloody cowd I tell thee, and having had a went or two down some big hills on them there ski's a few times at Whistler, Lake Louise, Banff, a few places south of the border down Colorado Way, not to mention the ice hills of Ontario, the one thing that terrifies skiers (and snowboarders come to that) more than anything else in the world..... is Yellow Snow.

There are warning notices everywhere. Don't eat it, cook with it, boil it for a cup of tea, attempt to make slushies with it and certainly don't fall in it. It's just not good for your health. Dr. Theo has now finished his health advice service for the day. Call 111 if you require more assistance.

It's 14°C outside at the moment, in Wolvo, yes Wolvo. I'm lighting the BBQ to cook me tea on this evening. No yellow snow round here. Just some over cooked salmon and burned tatties in their jackets.

By the way, Town's ground is about 100' - 150' above sea level give or take. There's more chance of the ground being swamped by a Tsunami coming up the Calder and Hebble canal and diverting up the Colne Valley than there is of the game being off because a few that are precious can't get their 4x4's off their bloody drive in Brighouse.

Haven't found Wagbo's wise words yet, but Alan, Alan Lee has had a word with those nice chaps at Radio L666s. Link added to the OP.

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Ok, just looked on the Unexamined, apparently the pitch is heavily infested (who the fook hires these journo's and who the hell is the Sports Editor?)

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Loads a updates on the OP me ol' china's

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A link from the Centre of the Universe - https://www.holmesdale.net/page.php?id=106&tid=171214

Deary, deary me

[theo_luddite]

The promise of two flakes of snow and the wimps go and hide in their igloo's

[jjamez]

my igloo is nice and cozy, nice yellow tinge to it too

[theo_luddite]

Must be an HSE iglooo jjamez

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By the way if it get's called off, it's ony because Plod is scared their pointy hats will become targets for snowballs. Yellow or white, they don't like it up 'em Cap'n Mainwaring, the fuzzy wuzzies don't like it up 'em.

The pitch will be fine. Numpties at Palarse thinking we only installed undesoil heating because we got promoted? Er, no, it was put in when we built the stadium nearly 20 years ago. Furkin' bunch of Neanderthals. Southampton still haven't bought any anti-freeze for theirs by the way, apparently.

[Amelia Chaffinch]

We know a Mark and Mandy who we call Mork and Mindy.
Wish I did look like Mindy btw. In fact I'd be happy to look like Mandy.
Anyway, that was a jolly good read.
I'm more bothered about my 38 mile round trip to work than the match being called off. I can't see that happening.
I think we'll hammer 'em. I thought that about Swansea and we did but I kind of hoped it would mean we'd get some points out of it as well.   #scratcheshead

[jjamez]

Why would you scratche a shead am?

[theo_luddite]

38 miles round trip Mindy? A walk in the park. 75 miles each day with all the bollox the M6 around Brum can throw at you. We'd have loved a 19 mile walk to work when I was a lad, and licked every inch of the road clean to get there, and paid the boss our wage just for the priveledge of having a job. Apart from that .... tell it to the kids of today, and they'll have a computer program that says you're talking complete bollox. They'll struggle to fix it mind. And if you treally tell the kids today .................. they still won't believe you.