[theo_luddite]

V

Stoke City v Huddersfield Town
Prima Donna League
Saturday 20th January
by the bonny bonny banks of the Trent and Mersey Canal
Smoke-on-Stench
Harry Potteryland
ST4 4EG

The Stadium
(a lazy cut and paste from Wiki to start with, followed by some help from Aunty Beeb and those very good German chaps at Transfermarkt)

The bet365 Stadium is an all-seater football stadium in Smoke-on-Stench, Staffordshire, England and the home of Premier League club Stoke City. The stadium was previously called the Britannia Stadium but was renamed on 1 June 2016 when the club entered into a new stadium-naming rights agreement with its parent company, bet365. It has a capacity of 30,089 following the completion of expansion works in 2017.

The stadium was built in 1997 at a cost of £14.7 million as a replacement for the Victoria Ground. The highest attendance recorded at the stadium was 28,218 for the sell-out fixture against Everton in their FA Cup 3rd Round tie in 2002. Former player Sir Stanley Matthews' ashes were buried beneath the centre circle of the pitch following his death in February 2000; he had officially opened the stadium on 30 August 1997. In European competitions it is known as the Stoke Stadium due to UEFA regulations on sponsorship.

We've met before.

Er about 3-4 weeks ago on Boxing Day, which I can't work out if it seems like 5 minutes ago or ages ago to be honest. I've had a bloody chest cold since Christmas and I've been trying a variety of single person's remedies ever since, which tends to wipe out a few memory cells at weekends but does help you get a good nights sleep.  

Boxing Day

Given that Stoke have been a fairly solid mid-table Prima Donna League club under both Tony Boring Bloody Pulis and Mark Sparky Hughes, they weren't as good as they've been cracked up to be when they came to ours on Boxing Day.

They went behind to what is still a unique Tom Ince goal, unique in that it's the only one he's scored for us since the pre-season friendlies. It was put on a plate for him by the crowds (ahem) favourite German winger, the now crocked Colin Quaner. After that, Sparky Mark Hughes went crackers at them and eventually they equalised when Town dozed of for a couple of minutes and let Charlie Adam weave some of his saucery in midfield. But Town's defence wasn't broken again, and the storm in a tea-pot was calmed down as Town dominated but couldn't fracture the Stoke defence again either, no matter how much they chipped away at the fragile looking defences in what was otherwise a Christmas dish served up by the Town players and was only missing another couple of goals to put an nice glaze on a smashing performance.

Despite that, Stoke have a mix of Burleigh players at the back, not many of which normally have feet of clay, a young England keeper in Jack Butland that doesn't miss a chance to quckly throw the ball out to his side and some craftsmen in midfield who can put you in the kiln and make life hot for you if you decide to take a rest. Crouchy might not be Royal Dalton or a Moorcroft, but he's no porcelain soldier either. The Staffordshire Potteries also boasts some livewires that can have you spinning your wheels too, like Charlie Adam, Joe Allen and Steven Ireland. On their day, more Wedgewood than Dudson, they haven't quite fired on all cylinders this season so far.

What do you mean this is all taking the ceramic? Moi? Take the hug and kiss? Never. My plates are aching tonight but they'll be fine tomorrow.  

Manager-go-round

So not for the first time we face a side with a new manager drafted in at the last minute. Sparky only lasted until the FA Cup 3rd Round defeat at Coventry, productivity was Sky Blue high at work the following Monday morning. Then the Stoke board started throwing cricket balls at the prized bone china.

After 5 minutes of fame at Watford, Espanyol coach Quique Sanchez Flores was approached and he said 'no para mí gracias' or words to that effect. next up Gary Rowett, he got a better deal from Derby. Then they truned to Martin O'Neill. He decided improved terms from The Republic of Ireland offered better long term prospects than keeping Smoke in the Prima Donna League.

So after all that Ricky's dad, Paul Lambert took the poison chalice on earlier this week. His overall managerial record looks quite good. It is however highly skewed in that he took a very expensive (in wages and transfer fees) Norwich from League 1, through the Championship and into mid-table obscurity in the Prima Donna League. As his relationship with Delia's Crusty Floury Baps started to go stale, he abandoned ship and joined Aston Vanilla. This was just after Martin O'Neill, yes that one, had thrown his toys out of the pram after Randy Learner told him to stop signing £xMillion players and leaving them to rot in the reserves.

Lambert kept Vanilla in mid-table obscurity for the first season, but when it all started to go pear shaped he was given his P-45 before they were eventually relegated. He averages a point a game in the Prima Donna League. That might be enough to keep Stoke up, if they were really starting their season this Saturday. Actually, you are Mr. Lambert, Stoke and the rest of us started in August depite what you might think.

Old Lags

In a town famous for it's potteries including Royal Doulton, Wedgewood, Burleigh, Moorcroft, Royal Stafford amongst many others it has also had a few famous footballers in it's ranks too.

Sir Stanley Matthews, the wizard on the wing who was still playing when he should have been drawing his pension and Gordon Banks, former England goalie, World Cup Winner and the bloke that made 'that' save against the legendary Pele of Brazil in 1970, a header that Pele to this day doesn't know how it wasn't a goal. Then again, he sells viagara for a living these days while he plays a different game of keepy-uppy.

I make no apologies for showing this again if it was in the Christmas thread. I've deliberately, er, forgotten where it is so I don't directly reference it.

They had their 150th Anniversay, oh a short while back and picked this side as their best ever 11 (from their website)
The all-time Stoke City 'Greatest XI' in full is as follows:

GK: Gordon Banks (246 apps; 0 goals)
RB: Jackie Marsh (433 apps; 2 goals)
CB: Ryan Shawcross (240 apps; 19 goals)
CB: Denis Smith (482 apps; 41 goals)
LB: Mike Pejic (336 apps; 8 goals)
RW: Sir Stanley Matthews (355 apps; 62 goals)
CM: Alan Hudson (162 apps; 9 goals)
CM: Jimmy Greenhoff (338 apps; 97 goals)
LW: Peter Hoekstra (88 apps; 12 goals)
ST: Mark Stein (134 apps; 72 goals)
ST: Ricardo Fuller (208 apps; 50 goals)

Manager: Tony Waddington (822 games; won 288, drawn 233, lost 301)

Any personal memories of any of those chaps? Anyone missing? George Eastman maybe? There's a few that helped them win the World Cup there, oops, sorry that was West Ham, the League Cup. Anyone remember Banks and Stoke in a Cup Replay at The Shay when all the kids stood on the Speeedway track and froze their toes off? No? Only me then.

Who scores?

Like us, whoever it is, it isn't enough

Table and Form.

Town are down to 14th, 4 points and places above the trap door, which just happens to be occupied by Stoke.

Last Time Out.

Town took a Hammering at home

While Smoke got Stoked at Old Trafford

The Roller Coaster Rides

Stoke are still on the kiddy rides

While with Town, it's a bit downhill, but wheeeeeeee

are staying up, I said we are staying up.

Wagbo's wise words (from The Unexamined)

http://www.examiner.co.uk/sport/football...s-14173411

It could be wet (and cold) this weekend, so yes I couldn't resist it, this weekends classic.

So lets hope we have a great day out in Royal Stafford, I'll be having breakfast at my favourite cafe in Stafford.

before letting the train take the strain, well for some of the journey.

Lets hope we don't end up like The Prisoner, just a number in Portmeirion.

How to get there, where to drink, park, pies and pees - the usual little helpers

http://www.footballgroundguide.com/leagu...-city.html

By the way, is it just me or do those extra Smilies not work properly anymore? I can type or and get one but that little corner of Flashing Santas and the new food and drink thingies won't open for me anymore. On my laptop, phone and tablet it freezes the webpage and I can't get to those important little buttons down below. Like now. Copy, paste somewhere so I don't lose it. Close, re-open, paste it all back here again. Rant over.

Have fun, whether at the game, listening to Oggy and whoever, or watching abroad on one of these channels

http://www.livesoccertv.com/match/250296...ield-town/

I don't do predictions me, so I've predicted the same score as last time. 2 points each when a home win for both sides would have given both of us a point more.  

[SHEP_HTAFC]

Great thread theo
Loved the bit about Delia's crusty baps
What I didn't realise until this week is that good old Gordon Banks is a Yorkshire lad....born in Sheffield.

[Lord Snooty]

Nice one theo I will give it a read at dinnertime.

[Lord Snooty]

Well that was an enjoyable read, theo. With the added bonus of a Deep Purple vid. Can't beat a bit of lunchtime headbanging.

The non working smilies have been reported but nowt seems to be happening. Ask her Ladyship if she's any wiser to what's going on.

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Will the boy Crouch play tomorrow, that is the question. Apparently he's off to Chelsea.

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All Premier League matches this weekend are having a minutes applause for the life of Big Cyrille.

[theo_luddite]

Quite right that too. One of the more enjoyable players to watch back in the day.

The Crouchy news was a bit in the ether last night but so was the possibility of Andy Carroll going there on loan???? or transfer???!!!??? I left it alone and lo, it transpires Andy Carroll has a hung toenail again and will be out until someone kisses it better for him. Now if there's a club that doesn't need to bring anyone in on loan it's Chelski. They must have 3 or 4 starting 11's out on loan around the whole of Europe along with supposedly the best Academy around. So none of them good enough to call up then?

[Lord Snooty]

They would be better off getting Tammy Abraham back.

[jjamez]

Dont have a good feeling about tomorrow. Think their home advantage will see us off.

[Lord Snooty]

We're in this kit today.

[theo_luddite]

If that doesn't work
https://mobile.twitter.com/htafcdotcom/s...01/photo/1

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Or this
https://www.htafc.com/news/2018/january/...y-vs-town/

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Or maybe this
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/42672223.app#tab-0

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Pritchard starts, Kongolo on t'bench

[ToonTerrier]

We’re not playing at all well. This is poor.