[theo_luddite]

It must make sense to someone that we play Wales in a stadium that holds less than 40,000 while we play Russia in one that holds nigh on 70,000. Other than it's close to Dover-Calais so they can ship the day trippers home easily it makes no sense at all. England and Wales other fixtures are both darn Sarf. Again - it makes no sense. Maybe that's why we hate the French.


We offered kindly to donate them Calais
And all they gave us back was the bidet
And now they won't let us go on holiday
That's why I hate the French
Mmm-mm, that's why I hate the French

They all wear berets and they're all called Jacques
They even steal from us the words they lack
Le weekend, le camping and cul-de-sac
That's why I hate the French
Oh-oh, that's why I hate the French.

They claim their films are the best we've ever had
Well I suppose Emmanuelle wasn't bad
Charles Aznavour is always so depressed
Wouldn't you be if oui-oui meant yes?

Sacha Distel has raindrops falling on his head
I wonder if Jean Paul Sartre knows he is dead?
What I resent is that they're so good in bed
That's why I hate the French
Oh-oh, that's why I hate the French.

They bake their bread in such a naughty shape
They brag about their wine and worship the grape
They criticise our food but then they eat crepe
That's why I hate the French
Oh-oh, that's why I hate the French.

And now they started coming here in droves
French cigarettes, French letters and French cloves
I'm sick and tired of eating all this brie
And I'll be buggered if I go to gay Paris

They're pretty cocky 'bout their games in the dark
They think with girls they light a special spark
But look what the bastards did to Joan of Arc
That's why I hate the French
Oh-oh, that's why I hate the French
Mmm-mm, that's why I hate the French