[spireitematt]

Dear Dierdre,

I mentioned this on the other site a while ago but me and the wife always had a bit of a rampant sex life   Anyway, one day after a steamy session I got up and went for a fag like you do. When I came back to bed the wife said "why don't you try one of those electronic cigarettes ?" to which I replied "xxxx off, why don't you try one one of those electronic knobs ?" before turning my back in a huff. Ever since then, when I get in from the pub or work, there's 20 Lambert & Butlers on the kitchen table and the wife has gone to bed early and doesn't want sex with me anymore.

I can't think whats going on, she's usually very moody when she doesn't get any sex but she seems really happy. I know she's not cheating on me as she never goes out now, she's just spending more and more time upstairs on her own.

I've also noticed that when we are out shopping we are buying a lot of duracells even though we only have one clock and two remotes in the house.

Can you help ?
Maddix

You been reading sickipedia Maddix? because that joke is on there