[Chunderbuxton]

Hello chaps,

Lovely to see that you're all full of bonhomie and good wishes about our play-off chances - you may be interested to know that Lady Elspeth has just placed a large bet on us winning on Monday, and she'd backed Miliband, Clegg and Farage to be out of a job by lunchtime.

Can't see it happening myself, as you know only too well yourselves, mediocrity very rarely rewards with success. By the way, did anything actually happen in your season? Any cup runs at all?

Well, got to go, from the other side of the footballing black hole that is Sheffield, we bid you a fond farewell, as ever Lady Elspeth sends you her love,

Yours aye,

Chunders