[theo_luddite]

Not football news at all but likely coming to a Ryanair flight near you soon. If it was April 1st I'd take it for the joke it surely is but seriously? Standing for 4 hours on a flight to Tenerife. Oh yes, that Irish prat would make you do it. I wouldn't put it passed him charging you extra for the, erm, privelege? After all, you don't have to stand up to try and crawl all over your fellow passengers to go to the loo. £1 or €1 to use those too no doubt.

https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/news/uk-w...source=nba

PS I've mispelled prat, but it rhymes with prat. Think you two can work it out.

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Otherwise, in case you're looking for that special present for your other half's highly significant birthday that's coming up soon, or better still a Wedding Anniversary that simply can't be missed ....

https://officialcarmats.co.uk/collection...n-car-mats

Well, why wouldn't you?

You won't find these in the Town shops.

Already got mine, but I'm single and loving it.

Right what we got today then?
Well, we got some half-priced cracked ice
Miles and miles of carpet tiles
TV's
Deep-freeze
Them David Bowie's LPs
Ball games
Gold chains
What's-names
And at a push
Some Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush in Shepherds Bush
Bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush, bush

No income tax, no V.A.T
No money back, no guarantee
Black or white
Rich or broke
We'll cut prices at a stroke
God bless Hooky Street
Viva Hooky Street
Long live Hooky Street
C'est magnifique Hooky Street
Magnifique Hooky Street (two for a pound)
Hooky Street
Hooky Street (three for a fiver come on)

Honestly, these are not duff stuff from some 42 carat plonker Rodney. They are genuine, licensed, official car mats as sold on Chorley market for nearly 30 years.
All you need to do is to buy a dodgy 2nd hand car from Boycey to put them in first .... and then maybe get a hug and a kiss from Marlene. What could possibly go wrong?


No, ................ I don't know any cheap divorce lawyers.
Why are you asking?