12-05-2025, 13:40
Our tactic of passing the ball as often as possible without making significant progress proved to be very much to Walsall’s taste. They remained happy throughout judiciously to exert sufficient pressure, to keep us moving the ball to little or no effect, until we either exceeded the limits of our own ability, or they spotted an opportunity to intercept. They were bigger than us, younger than us, mostly faster than us and certainly better organised than us on the day. Our reward never looked likely to be more than nil, whereas their’s would be a function of how much they could disrupt us. Even our enthusiastic support, from a crowd heavy in over-rounded old blokes, unsuitably squeezed into imaginatively or historically sized football blue shirts, couldn’t raise a valid complaint. Individually and collectively the best team won.
Sometimes at football, even at a low level, you go on pitch with the best intentions and you can tell from the first minute that nothing is going to go right.
Performances:-
Boot – 6 – has been exonerated of all blame by a court in The Hague.
Gordon – 4- proved he could successfully locate his goalkeeper with a back pass from anywhere on the pitch, or up Kinder Scout. Succeeded in slowing several cautious attempts we made at forward motion.
McFadzean – 5 - solid to the point of wooden, displayed all the verve of a cigar-store Indian.
Palmer – 5 - offered a master class in the pointless Ray-Wilkins sideways pass as the game itself seemed largely to pass him by (sideways).
Mandeville – 5 – had more than a hand in both goals and his dead-ball radar was inclined to be on the blink. Nevertheless, he was one of the few attempting to prompt something creative.
Fleck – 1 – produced Shape – the blancmange beloved of the British Raj. Occupied space, used it to no effect, an entirely zero-carbon performance.
Metcalfe – 5 – worked, tried to use the ball and push forward, but produced several alarmingly wild passes. Attempted to prompt the team to attack, but once, when pursued by Okagbue, resembled David Attenborough attempting to outrun a cheetah.
Naylor – 6 – appeared to have located the opposition goal but unfortunately failed to pass on the co-ordinates to his colleagues. Tried, but on occasion looked overwhelmed by how badly things were going.
Colclough – 6 – illuminated the game like wonky fairy lights, flickering brightly, but more often off than on. Threatens danger, but also electrocution.
Grigg – 4- lacking service, he looked like a man expecting silver service, unhappily seated in a Transport Café.
Olakigbe – 2 – appeared beset by nerves, twice let the ball roll out of play under his foot, his control and involvement were almost non-existent. Check his dressing-room peg for a Fentanyl leak. Something was very wrong.
Dobra – 6- gave the crowd glimpses of what they wanted to see when sent on as sub’ but produced one awful pass that suggested he was still trying to regain his touch for Friday.
Sparkes – 3 – lacked any, didn’t ignite in his few minutes on pitch.
Duffy – 5 – a good cross and obvious enthusiasm may have won him a start on Friday.
Pepple – 5 – welcome attempt to counter Walsall physically. We desperately need that.
Jacobs – 4 – wore football shorts, didn’t get time for much else.
Cook – 4 – manager – achieved full beetroot early doors and maintained it throughout. Was clearly at a loss to effect any change, regularly turning to his support staff to confirm we hadn’t slid into a parallel universe.
Sometimes at football, even at a low level, you go on pitch with the best intentions and you can tell from the first minute that nothing is going to go right.
Performances:-
Boot – 6 – has been exonerated of all blame by a court in The Hague.
Gordon – 4- proved he could successfully locate his goalkeeper with a back pass from anywhere on the pitch, or up Kinder Scout. Succeeded in slowing several cautious attempts we made at forward motion.
McFadzean – 5 - solid to the point of wooden, displayed all the verve of a cigar-store Indian.
Palmer – 5 - offered a master class in the pointless Ray-Wilkins sideways pass as the game itself seemed largely to pass him by (sideways).
Mandeville – 5 – had more than a hand in both goals and his dead-ball radar was inclined to be on the blink. Nevertheless, he was one of the few attempting to prompt something creative.
Fleck – 1 – produced Shape – the blancmange beloved of the British Raj. Occupied space, used it to no effect, an entirely zero-carbon performance.
Metcalfe – 5 – worked, tried to use the ball and push forward, but produced several alarmingly wild passes. Attempted to prompt the team to attack, but once, when pursued by Okagbue, resembled David Attenborough attempting to outrun a cheetah.
Naylor – 6 – appeared to have located the opposition goal but unfortunately failed to pass on the co-ordinates to his colleagues. Tried, but on occasion looked overwhelmed by how badly things were going.
Colclough – 6 – illuminated the game like wonky fairy lights, flickering brightly, but more often off than on. Threatens danger, but also electrocution.
Grigg – 4- lacking service, he looked like a man expecting silver service, unhappily seated in a Transport Café.
Olakigbe – 2 – appeared beset by nerves, twice let the ball roll out of play under his foot, his control and involvement were almost non-existent. Check his dressing-room peg for a Fentanyl leak. Something was very wrong.
Dobra – 6- gave the crowd glimpses of what they wanted to see when sent on as sub’ but produced one awful pass that suggested he was still trying to regain his touch for Friday.
Sparkes – 3 – lacked any, didn’t ignite in his few minutes on pitch.
Duffy – 5 – a good cross and obvious enthusiasm may have won him a start on Friday.
Pepple – 5 – welcome attempt to counter Walsall physically. We desperately need that.
Jacobs – 4 – wore football shorts, didn’t get time for much else.
Cook – 4 – manager – achieved full beetroot early doors and maintained it throughout. Was clearly at a loss to effect any change, regularly turning to his support staff to confirm we hadn’t slid into a parallel universe.