[Lord Snooty]

I can't read all that nonsense, theo. Took me long enough to read the first one you linked to.

I know I bang on a bit when I'm doing my match threads but some of these journalists bore me stiff with their long winded, Oxbridge educated, too clever for the likes of me columns they write.

The Grauniad is a bit too high brow for an old Daily Mirror reader like me. Or should I say ex reader. Not bought a newspaper in years.

I saw an article yesterday online. Ooh that looks interesting, I thought. Ten paragraphs in, got bored. Too much waffle. Do they get paid by the amount of words?