[Ska'dForLife-WBA]

Is it too soon for gallows humour? Albion are now officially looking at the worst-ever start to a Premier League campaign: winless in the first seven matches, as we were in the Great Escape season, only we had one extra draw to our name back then, plus a first win around the corner in the eighth game. Therefore, even a victory against Spurs on Sunday wouldn't lift us above the lowly seven points we mustered in early autumn 2004, though it might spare Slaven the axe over the international break, which would otherwise seem the likely time for the owners - or whoever's actually at the wheel of this iceberg-magnet of a ship - to sacrifice the ready-made scapegoat.

The piercing shard of hope this weekend is that Albion have played up to the likes of Chelsea and Everton - at least in the sense that we carried more of a scoring threat against them - and so we might cobble together precisely the performance that's required against Tottenham. It still wouldn't bode well for our long-term survival chances that we blew those three six-pointers, but for the time being, a miraculous three points (or even one well-earned point) would give us some belief. And in the midst of an especially dark November, that would be highly welcome.

Famous fans: Syncopated piano-bashers Chas & Dave have always worn their allegiance on their rolled-up sleeve, having recorded such memorable Spurs anthems as Ossie's Dream, Tottenham Tottenham, Hot Shot Tottenham, It's Lucky For Spurs When The Year Ends In One, and It's Not Lucky For Spurs When They Get Within Ninety Minutes Of Winning Something Remotely Important. (I may have made one of those up.) Elsewhere, Adele is a genuine Tottenham girl by birth, while Salman Rushdie is best described as a devout armchair fan. King Harald V of Norway is apparently a loyal Spud, as is Norwegian football manager and card-carrying communist Egil "Drillo" Olsen, which must make for some lively Saturday nights in the Oslo branch of the supporters' club. Pauls Whitehouse and Merton add some cockney comedy authenticity to proceedings, while Kenneth Branagh presumably got lost on his way to Fulham. But the obituaries column holds a few Tottenham treasures too, with Peter Cook, Roger "Trigger" Lloyd-Pack and Warren "Alf Garnett" Mitchell (despite his West Ham alter ego) being definite fans, and Bob Marley - apparently partial to watching Ossie Ardiles - a late convert. If only he'd lasted another ten years or so, Bob might well have been loafing about the Halfords Lane in an Influence jacket. He'll never know what joys he missed.