[Ska'dForLife-WBA]

Just as the Inuit have fifty different words for snow, it's amazing that Albion fans over the last twenty years haven't evolved an entire lexicon of synonyms for the feeling of watching an underinvested-in team go toe to toe against star-studded Prem heavyweights and turn into cannon fodder. (On second thoughts, maybe we do have the words, but they're not fit to print). Despite promising signs on the attack at Everton, a red card for Kieran Gibbs left us vulnerable at the back, and five conceded goals was the result. A shoot-out defeat to Brentford in the League Cup hasn't really helped the general mood, and now we renew our hunt for a first point of the season against Chelsea on Saturday evening. When it rains, it well and truly pisses it down on us.

Our major hope for the defensive solidity we badly need in this game is Branislav Ivanovic, who'll be facing his former club if he starts. Not that there are too many familiar faces for the Serb to greet; under Frank Lampard, the Blues are swiftly changing from Chelski to Das Chelsenhoffen as they re-jig their forward line with the addition of fresh-faced Teutons Timo Werner and Kai Havertz. With Tammy Abraham and Olivier Giroud still on hand alongside Mason Mount and Ruben Loftus-Cheek, there's plenty of firepower to bring to bear, though curiously, Chelsea's three goals so far this season have actually come from defensive midfield and the back four. Having set up in two completely different formations so far, it's possible that Lampard may still be sussing out what exactly to do with this embarrassment of riches, and if so, that's something Albion have to take advantage of.

Famous fans: Over the last thirty years they've come out of the woodwork in droves, with claims (of wildly varying probability) that they've supported Chelsea since the days of the Second Division and 6k gates. Among the more likely lifelong Blues are Phil Daniels, David Baddiel and his brother Ivor, Sir Michael Caine, Michael Crawford, Graham "Suggs" McPherson, Trevor Nelson, John Major and Bill Clinton (who began supporting while studying in Britain in the 1960s, and later became famous for opening his presidential speeches with a shout of "hello, hello, Chelsea aggro"). More dubious candidates for original Shed skins include David Mellor, Busta Rhymes, Bryan Adams, Renee Zellweger, Will Ferrell, Joseph Fiennes and anyone wandering around a provincial town in a £70 replica shirt at 3pm on a Saturday afternoon.