[Arcane Astral Aeons]

well we are still waiting for the 200 metre swan run
but it appears that swans don`t actually run (thanks to the idiot that figured that one out)

now to the darts
Van Gerwin has been disqualified from the event for throwing a hedgehog at the board
the scorers were not not happy with his perfect 680 and he was told he had to finish on a double

Golf:  Lee Westwood Has Lost His Balls on the 12th hole(nowt to say about that)

Cycling......oh they have all fallen over someone should have cleared that diesel spillage up
we now take you to a new event: the underwater show jumping....and yes...as we suspected a lot of horses are refusing to take part

I AM DOING THIS COMMENTARY IN MY BEST DAVID COLEMAN 

next to the javelin have to say i have never seen a guy being impaled by one......god thats gonna hurt....but it looks like a world record for killing someone from 90 metres

and onto the synchronized idiots jumping from a board above a swimming pool
ewwww thats gonna hurt as the pool wasnt filled with water

and so to todays final event

the rowing
some concern for the afghans as their boat sank..forcing them to wash

coverage continues on BBC and this channel
do stick around