[derbybaggie]

I would like to formally apologise to you all.

I have come to the conclusion that I have created a imaginary world contained exclusively within the boundaries of my own mind. Central to this notion is a fictitious football team who promise great things and then time after time stumble at the last and easiest hurdle converting certain glorious achievement into unbelievable pain and embarrassing defeat. It’s highly probable that it is my mind that creates these cataclysmic failures as a safety measure should the excitement of victory cause me to wake from whatever sleep, coma or paralysis I am actually in.

In the same vein I apologise for England’s performances in international competitions, the UK’s recent track record in the Eurovision Song Contest, COVID-19, Brexit, and the current Tory government, all of which are so mind-bogglingly unbelievable that I must have also made them up.

So a big big ‘sorry’.

But then again I’m not sure why I’m apologising because you clearly also don’t exist and all must be part of this pretend world that I have invented. (Except for Beefy of course because even my mind is not weird enough to make him up!)