So Plymouth can't play at Morecambe, where an attendance of 1500 is okay. Plymouth Theatre Royal is open and it could accommodate that entire crowd and they could sit in the dark being air-conditioned whilst fellow punters nestle beside them in the warm sometimes eating and drinking and coughing.
After sitting through Coronanewsnight last night it struck me that if this infectious virus passed like vampirism or diseases in disaster movies we don't need to worry at all. It's already all over. We should compress the football season into the remaining two and a bit weeks we have left. Players train every day. They could obviously play every day. If they survive the virus they've got the rest of their lives to recover from their exertions. All the titles and promotion and relegation could be settled in three weeks.
Anyways last night I started jotting down the figures on the back of a discarded shopping list - sad I know! So if 30 people have the virus and pass it to just two people each before being isolated we have 60 infected and 30 isolated. Next day those 60 infect two people each and are then found and isolated. So it's 90 isolated and 120 out there. That 120 infect two more each before being isolated, so there's 240 out there and 210 in isolation and so on. By the end of just three weeks over 75 million will have just been infected and be out searching for their two people each to infect ……. but almost the entire population of these islands will already be being held in isolation by whoever is able to hold us all in isolation.
Now the only flaw in the disaster movie scenario is that most people don't notice they're really ill at all. After all it's March, it's raining and you never feel like getting up for work once the radio alarm has given you the new Coronastats anyway. It's not really producing any dramatic leading roles is it? Gary Oldman and Daniel Day Lewis are hardly going to be clamouring to be cast as chief medical advisors and if Nadine Dorries doesn't die Emma Thompson needn't book another flight back from LA.
Personally I'm knitting a balaclava and building a pig sty in the garden to fatten a couple up, that's if the Germans don't confiscate 'em. Or is that the war?
Away at Dover FFS, cue Vera Lynn! No one wants to go to Dover at the best of times. Even illegal immigrants don't hang around. I bet our players will be going out there with just the right attitude. Mind you if Carsick doesn't want us to play, that's one good reason for the match to be on.
After sitting through Coronanewsnight last night it struck me that if this infectious virus passed like vampirism or diseases in disaster movies we don't need to worry at all. It's already all over. We should compress the football season into the remaining two and a bit weeks we have left. Players train every day. They could obviously play every day. If they survive the virus they've got the rest of their lives to recover from their exertions. All the titles and promotion and relegation could be settled in three weeks.
Anyways last night I started jotting down the figures on the back of a discarded shopping list - sad I know! So if 30 people have the virus and pass it to just two people each before being isolated we have 60 infected and 30 isolated. Next day those 60 infect two people each and are then found and isolated. So it's 90 isolated and 120 out there. That 120 infect two more each before being isolated, so there's 240 out there and 210 in isolation and so on. By the end of just three weeks over 75 million will have just been infected and be out searching for their two people each to infect ……. but almost the entire population of these islands will already be being held in isolation by whoever is able to hold us all in isolation.
Now the only flaw in the disaster movie scenario is that most people don't notice they're really ill at all. After all it's March, it's raining and you never feel like getting up for work once the radio alarm has given you the new Coronastats anyway. It's not really producing any dramatic leading roles is it? Gary Oldman and Daniel Day Lewis are hardly going to be clamouring to be cast as chief medical advisors and if Nadine Dorries doesn't die Emma Thompson needn't book another flight back from LA.
Personally I'm knitting a balaclava and building a pig sty in the garden to fatten a couple up, that's if the Germans don't confiscate 'em. Or is that the war?
Away at Dover FFS, cue Vera Lynn! No one wants to go to Dover at the best of times. Even illegal immigrants don't hang around. I bet our players will be going out there with just the right attitude. Mind you if Carsick doesn't want us to play, that's one good reason for the match to be on.