[theo_luddite]

 V  


Who Ate All The (mince) Pies v T'onory Yorkshire Bloke
26th December 2014

Venue

The Noo Yark Stadium,
Noo Yark Way
Rovverum
South Yorkshire
S60 1AH



Howdy Pardners, hope y'all are having a better Christmas than our team. Think they'd been on the mince pies, sherry and sprouts a week early by the way they played on Saturday.


If you ain't got a ticket you ain't going, so be like me and listen to Oggy and Seamus O'Rubbish on Radio Leeds while having a nice cool (or cold) pint down the nice warm pub.

Any road - as our Black Country mate Noddy says - IT'S CHRIIIIISTMAAAAAS - so let's start with a Christmas Tune.



One for the old farts.  

Where to start?

Chris Powell came in saying he would embrace all things Yorkshire and, to be fair, he was making a good fist of it until the wheels started to wobble a couple weeks or so back. November was always going to be a struggle for points but come December were are still yapping like Terriers with laryngitis.

All 4 tyres were definitly flat on Saturday at home to Brum. Two hours at a football match still beats half an hour in Meadowhall any day for me, but there would have been many who would have been tempted to think they'd have taken the scrums in the town centre or shoping malls over that dreary performance. TBH, I wish I'd gone golfing. Playing in driving rain and sleet would almost have been as much fun.

So we come into this one on the crest of a slump when we could and should have been safely camped in mid-table obscurity by now.

The Millers welcome us to their brand noo sparkling stadium, that is so noo Google haven't sent their low flying plane over it yet to photograph it (sorry, high flying satellite, yeh, whatever). Must have been cloudy down Rotherham way for the last two years solid so don't pack your suncream for this one.



Millers History

Formed in 1925 from the Merger of Rotherham Town and Rotherham County, taking County's place in Football League Division Three North.

Not much to shout about. They were old 3rd Division North runners up three times in a row (why does some of that sound familiar?) in the late 1940's. They finally got promoted season 1950-51. Highest ever finish was 1954-55 season when they finished 3rd on goal average to both Brum (becoming a recurring nightmare in this fred) and Luton. All three finished on 54 points, 1 point above Leeds. Thus being denied their one and only shot at what was then The Championship (Division One or the Prima Donna League as we now all know and love it). Despite scoring 94 goals, they shipped in 64 compared to Brum (92-47) and Luton (88-53).

At the turn of this Century they got two promotions on the trot from Division Three into what was then Division One (now the Championship) and hung around until 2005. Then followed a series of Administrations and a total of 37 points deducted by the league. Then they fell out over the rental terms with Ken Moor, Millmoor ground owner, moved out of Millmoor and became Sheffield's third club for a while (about 4 years), playing at the newly demolished Don Valley Stadium, until they skipped back under the M1 to their shiny new home last season.

More for you statistic loving fans here

http://www.fchd.info/ROTHERHU.HTM


Rotherham's form

The Millers set off like a slow shunter train in the sidings (still a helluva lot quicker than us though) on the back of their promotion from League 1 and have hit the heights of 14th place three times so far. The wheels fell off somewhat after they beat Leeds 2-1 at home in a televised Friday night match and they didn't win another game until they beat Wigan 2-1 on Saturday at Dave Whelans Palace for the Politically Incorrect. No news yet on whether Dave ordered any Chinky take-away's for the after match meal or not.
Anyway, back to the Millers - they've drifted down the table eventually dropping into 22nd place after a laclustre 0-1 home defeat to Birmingham City (seems familiar for some reason) but that was their last defeat, as indeed was ours. 3 draws and one win later they now sit in 19th place, one above us on goal difference.

Last 6 at home -

Leeds United 2-1
Fulham 3-3
Middlesbrough 0-3
Birmingham City 0-1
Blackpool   1-1
Nott'ham Forest 0-0

So only one goal at home in the last four. Never mind we'll soon put that right for them.

Town's form

It's crap and Mr. Powell needs to start kicking a few rear ends hard as we've slipped back into our lazy ways again. I can't recall the last time I saw two teams so desperately want a 0-0 draw right from the kick off, but I did on Saturday. Look, just accept we can't defend CP and go and attack them ....... please. We'll accept a defeat if we try, we won't accept not appearing to try. Lolley put more effort into 3 minutes on Saturday than the rest of the team did for 97 minutes. More like it please from everyone.

Last 6 away -

Blackburn Rovers 0-0
Ipswich Town 2-2
Derby County 2-3
Fulham 1-3
Bolton Wanderers 0-1
Norwich City 0-5

We've scored 3 but let in 12 in the last 4 away games, which is as poor as we've been for a while and whatever CP had got sorted out shortly after he came in, it's all gone pear shaped again recently. Still, now that we've shipped our defensive coach to Leeds ...... let's hope we improve.


Just remember boys and girls - things could be a lot worse.




Town at Rotherham in the League


Rotherham Wins - 4
Town Wins - 7
Draws - 11
Rotherham Goals - 29
Town Goals - 33

The Town Line Up


So, given we've tried everything else, for this one I think CP should go with a diamond formation, after all, we are at the shiney new Noo Yark Stadium.



(Why is it blue and who has put jumpers down for goal posts?)



Here's how I think we should set up.


Catcher - Smithies
Lead Off Pitcher - Hudson, Closing Pitcher - Hogg
On the Bases - Robinson, Coady, Peltier
Short-Stop - Butterfield
Outfield - Scanz, Wells, Lolley
Designated Hitter (Utility Player) - Vaughan


In the Bull Pen - Set up pitcher - Gerrard, Relief pitcher - Dixon
On the Bench/Pinch Hitters and Runners - Majewski (is he still with us?), Holt, Holmes, Bunn
Back up Catcher - Allinson


In case you are wondering  


That's how the fat blokes that play rounders line up.

We'll need to find a welsh chap called Mr. Wynn D. Miller I'm told for news on the Rovverum Redwings Line up. Police Photofit picture below.



What the manager's Say

I won't have time to check up on what Christmas crap and cliches the manager's and others will spout so keep looking here
http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/team...field-town - or here - http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/team...ham-united.
If that fails, the Unexamined or tune in to Radio Leeds/Sheffield.

OK, I'll admit it, I can't be bothered, but as I'll be driving Christmas Eve, nowhere near this laptop thing Christmas Day and I've already told you where I'll be Boxing Day so you'll have to sort this one out yourself.

Played/Managed/Coached or did something or another for both


Mostly from http://www.where-are-they-now.co.uk/rotherham-united/

Some we all recognise (well maybe, if you're an old fart like a few of us on here).

Alan Alan Lee - everyone's favourite designated hitter
Danny Schofield - wing wizard now down in the mud puddle known as The Shay
Joey Scarz - a face only his mum could love - scares wingers to death by gurning at them
Mark Robins - still sends me to sleep even though he's in sunny Scunny.
Lionel Ainsworth - somewhere in Scotland I think
Liam Ridehalgh - bottom of the league(ish) with Tranmere
Ian Gray - you need hand's !!!  
Delroy Facey - who's been a naughty boy then? (allegedly).
Andy Turner (we had him on loan briefly from Spurs)
Mike O'Grady - we're going back a bit now, get the history books out
John Dungworth
Alan Gilliver
Lee Glover
Neil Hague
John Haselden (ex-Town coach and Manager)


Some that I've never even heard of

Jim McDonough
Jim McDonagh (not sure if this is the same bloke as above or just a different typo)
Martin McIntosh
Ronnie Robinson (loan)
Julian Watts
Ray Mielczarek
Don Weston
Robert Wilson
Andy Williams - always liked his songs and jumpers when I was a kid.  


Two that didn't turn out for both but would cause some confusion on the team sheets

Their Ian Ross was not the one that became Town manager
Chris Beech  - similar, their's was not the lad that was a Town player for a short period of time

Getting there.

Sort it out yerself, I ain't got a ticket, so I ain't going. If you've got a train ticket, the first train is on Saturday morning. Trust me it won't be worth the wait.

Otherwise, M1 South to Tinsley Viaduct. Turn right for bargains and mindless women with elbows like razors at Meadowhall, turn left for Rotherham. Doen't matter which end of Tinsley viaduct you turn left from, you more or less finish up in the middle of Rotherham anyway. It's about a mile or two down there on the right somewhere. Don't follow the crowds even though it's sold out, you'll be back at Meadowhall waiting until Saturday morning for a train. Shanks's pony and the Town bus are other options.

Pubs - I don't know any and I haven't looked on here for any.
http://www.footballgroundguide.com/rothe.../index.htm

It's donkeys years since we last played them in Rotherham in the league and the only one I can recall was right outside Millmoor. No doubt you'll find one if you really need one.


Merry Christmas, Happy New Year
and if you're one of the lucky one's with a ticket, sing yourself hoarse and come back with the points.