07-12-2018, 11:49
(This post was last modified: 07-12-2018, 11:51 by Dancingwilldoit.)
Dear Santa,
I know you are a subject of some contention but I for one have never doubted your existence. Every year without fail you manage to deliver exactly what I have asked for without question.
The fact I seem to spend the rest of the year paying for it or paying in kind doesn't really matter to me, I am sure you do your best but it must be a very expensive time of the year for you and I fully understand that.
This year I have an unusual request and it covers a number of things.
First of all, I know its a bit early but some goals against Salford on Saturday would kick start my Christmas off with a bang. A win would just be the icing on the cake.
I know before you say anything that you cant perform miracles like the other guy can but I am sure you could do it just for me. Try distracting the Salford players by flying your sleigh low over the Proact a few times, that should do the trick, our players are so dozy they wouldn't even notice you and we can walk the ball into the back of the net which we try and fail nearly every week. Am sure you can think of something.
Next on the list would be if you could intercept the Chesterfield team sheet before its handed in on Sat and let me make sure that non of the transfer listed players are featured and that Maguire and Amantchi are in the starting 11. I can also make sure Muggleton and Denton are on the bench, I will just need about 2 minutes to change it please.
My 3rd and final request would be a lucky punter (doesnt need to be me) walks into one of Dave Allen's casinos and wins £50 million on the tables. To make the final funds to pay him, DA has to sell CFC for £2.million to the fans. Now I know that may have brought a smile to your face but bear with me a minute. There must be somebody out there who wants £50 mill for a Christmas present so this really would be a case of killing 2 birds with 1 stone.
Finally (I know, I cant count) whats the chance of dropping a sack of presents (literally) on Ashley Carsons head when you are whizzing around on Christmas Eve? If you could just make sure it was the heaviest with a few bricks thrown in for good measure that would be great. If you can pin point my chimney so accurately am sure this one's a doddle for a man of your calibre.
So thats about it, I have been a good boy most of the time except that Saturday night in June which I dont want to go into but am sure the odd misdemeanor doesn't count.
Just remember - "I believe"
Yours
Dancingwilldoit
P.S.
Stacey to win Strictly please.
I know you are a subject of some contention but I for one have never doubted your existence. Every year without fail you manage to deliver exactly what I have asked for without question.
The fact I seem to spend the rest of the year paying for it or paying in kind doesn't really matter to me, I am sure you do your best but it must be a very expensive time of the year for you and I fully understand that.
This year I have an unusual request and it covers a number of things.
First of all, I know its a bit early but some goals against Salford on Saturday would kick start my Christmas off with a bang. A win would just be the icing on the cake.
I know before you say anything that you cant perform miracles like the other guy can but I am sure you could do it just for me. Try distracting the Salford players by flying your sleigh low over the Proact a few times, that should do the trick, our players are so dozy they wouldn't even notice you and we can walk the ball into the back of the net which we try and fail nearly every week. Am sure you can think of something.
Next on the list would be if you could intercept the Chesterfield team sheet before its handed in on Sat and let me make sure that non of the transfer listed players are featured and that Maguire and Amantchi are in the starting 11. I can also make sure Muggleton and Denton are on the bench, I will just need about 2 minutes to change it please.
My 3rd and final request would be a lucky punter (doesnt need to be me) walks into one of Dave Allen's casinos and wins £50 million on the tables. To make the final funds to pay him, DA has to sell CFC for £2.million to the fans. Now I know that may have brought a smile to your face but bear with me a minute. There must be somebody out there who wants £50 mill for a Christmas present so this really would be a case of killing 2 birds with 1 stone.
Finally (I know, I cant count) whats the chance of dropping a sack of presents (literally) on Ashley Carsons head when you are whizzing around on Christmas Eve? If you could just make sure it was the heaviest with a few bricks thrown in for good measure that would be great. If you can pin point my chimney so accurately am sure this one's a doddle for a man of your calibre.
So thats about it, I have been a good boy most of the time except that Saturday night in June which I dont want to go into but am sure the odd misdemeanor doesn't count.
Just remember - "I believe"
Yours
Dancingwilldoit
P.S.
Stacey to win Strictly please.
Big Bore Exhaust = Small Dick