[Amelia Chaffinch]

Wednesday 9th May

7.45pm

Stamford Bridge

Chelsea play at Stamford Bridge, London not Stamford Bridge, East Riding of Yorkshire. That is their first mistake. Who wants to go to London? It's not even a bridge. This is a bridge:

How do you confuse a Chelsea fan?

Take him to London and then ask him for directions.

All Chelsea people drive Chelsea 4X4s known as Chelsea tractors. Then again, from what I have seen, so do most of our players. 

Overall we have held our own against Chelsea. Unfortunately recent results aren't in our favour. But we'll not dwell on that. If we can hold Man City to a draw, why can't we do the same on Wednesday?

Top scorers are Hazard (16), Morata (15) but he wasn't even on the bench on Sunday, and Willian (13). 

Form: W W W W D L

Ours: D L W D L L

As we know, our top scorers are a little less prolific; Mounie (9), Depoitre (5), Van the Man (5). Shall we look at it as it's quality, not quantity?   No one likes a show off. 

Tommy Smith and Chris Lowe made their first starts on Sunday for a while. 

Did you hear about the new Chelsea Bra?

Lots of support but no cups.

Chelsea buns are ok, though...

Q: Why do Chelsea blokes drink from a saucer? 

A: Because the cup's in Manchester! 

Of course we have a lot to thank Chelsea. They lent us Izzy Brown and Kasey Palmer who helped us into this league in the first place. 

Steve Francis, Frank Sinclair and Danny Drinkwater have played for both. 

One of their celebrity fans sings their praises:

I like this one except when they use it!:

Jokes courtesy of www.jokes4us.com and www.soccermaniak.com