[Devongone]

Pooch, if you think fashion-lover Mrs May with bits of blue or gold tacked on the bottom of almost everything she wears is smart I won't be coming to you for sartorial advice. She has naturally long legs, a huge advantage and she goes out of her way to make them look longer and thinner till she ends up looking like a heron loitering uncertainly beside a fish-pond. Jeez take a look at her husband - she should take him in hand!

I don't particularly want to see a bloke with his bum cheeks showing (even you!) ........... an expensive suit, tasteful shirt and tie, Italian shoes, a good personality and greying hair 'n' expressive eyes'll do it for me. If our next manager could look like that he'd have my support all the way to the Vanarama and beyond. (I'm not in the least shallow!)

Matt cover your ears. You are too young for such depravity!