[theo_luddite]

Three football fans were walking back from Wembley when one noticed a foot sticking out of the bushes by the side of the road. They stopped and discovered a nude female, unconscious and near death. So one of them phoned the police and also requested an ambulance.

Out of respect and propriety, the Huddersfield fan took off his cap and placed it over one of the female's breasts. The Wednesday fan took off his cap and placed it over her other breast. Following their lead, but with great reluctance, the Leeds fan took off his cap and placed it over her girly part. The police arrived first and an officer began to conduct his investigation.

First he lifted up the Town cap, replaced it and made an entry in his notebook. Next, he lifted the Wednesday cap and replaced it; making more notes in his book.

Then the officer lifted the Leeds cap, replaced it, lifted it again, replaced it, lifted it a third time and replaced it one last time - shaking his head in disbelief. The Leeds fan was extremely annoyed and challenged him, "What are you, a pervert or something mate? Why do you keep lifting and looking, lifting and looking?"

"Well," said the officer, "I'm a little surprised and confused.

"Normally, when you look under a Leeds cap...you'll find an arsehole."