[Devongone]

You have to be the right sort of chap (or chapess). Or American.

You're officer material.

You can't be satisfied with a degree from an oick uni' with nightclubs like Cardiff, or a middle-class one like Bristol. If you can row and ucas didn't go well you need a postgraduate degree that will later admit you to banking or shiiting grice on a very private stretch of moorland.

You like wearing wellies and your girlfriend is called Imogen, (she's an intern!)

Your dad is known as pops. Ma despairs of him, but he's rich.