[Devongone]

Well if the Scots have a referendum and vote to leave the UK, then surely the UK will no longer exist, so nor will the passport? If Scotland is finally then allowed into the EU all the Scottish will become subject to whatever deal Nuts In May has negotipatled as regards EU nationals and fruit pickers marooned here with a questionable right to remain.

So it'll be goodbye Kirsty Wark and we could also have a proper weather forecast instead of concentrating on the blizzard at the top of a Cairngorm.

Oh blimey we never have to hear another lone piper caterwauling on battlements. On the other hand where are we going to put the Queen, and who's goin' to catch their salmon and shoot their deer for them? And what will they do with all the old-Etonian aristocracy littered around the Highlands? Will we have to send in the SAS? How will a Scottish Entebbe go down in Brussels?

There's bound to be a European war. No trade deal negotiated with the EU and Scotland witholding its Whisky. A Scotsman, an Englishman and a drink that's always been enough reason for a fight.