[talkSAFT]

You know what makes me angry?

.......Smiling b*stards!

Ugh! People who smile get on my tits.
I allowed myself a grin when Astle won us the Cup in '68 but, to my credit, I haven't strained my face since. My Wedding photos were a right let-down (in fact my Mrs has never seen me smile. Sex? She's still waiting.)

I'm actually very handsome (indeed) and don't want to get any laughter lines, thank you very much - not worth ruining my looks.

I prefer to see people grimace when they smile and say "Good morning", and I just scowl and say "Oh - is it?" (I smile inwardly then. I get a lot of pleasure out of that).