[Dancingwilldoit]

University of the Third Age has a lot to answer for, pensioner's all over the country enjoying themselves and some with steel balls as well.
I was impressed with your acute accent and wondered how the hell you did it on this forum. When you explained you were using MS Word all became apparent.
There's quite a few micro breweries in Spain and some interesting beers for less than 3 euros. If prices anywhere go up to £7 a pint there will be a whole host of pubs and breweries going out of business.

[Devongone]

Yes, I sometimes copy and paste from Word too, especially if I'm writing something longer.

They did build two fives courts up at Brookside - I bet anything they've turned them into something else now. The game only kept going I think because Fez Parkin was interested in it. Do you remember him? History. Nobody liked him, or so it seemed. They thought he was out to abuse them, or they wanted to believe that. I liked him very much, enjoyed history, genuinely spent proper time over homework etc which wasn't the case in many subjects. Anyway, Fez was a very good all-round sportsman and very good at fives. When the school had moved up to Brookside, I'd guess I was Lower 6th, Fez asked me and my mate to give him a game of doubles. I think he played with Jock Hetherington, (Scottish Geographer), and it was a real ding dong game. My mate Vaughany was good at any sport, had an England Rugby trial, which coming from a football school, takes some doing. Anyway, he was quick and like lightning off the mark and I had good anticipation and a great wingspan. We were seriously good ..... and we just won, which very obviously didn't please Fez, who nevertheless took it like a man and only needed three courses of counselling. Yes, it's similar to squash only you use your gloved hand to hit the ball and that leaves you feeling as if you've been keeping wicket to Devon Malcolm. I loved it, but if you tell anyone you played Eton Fives you get a worse reaction than mine to your croquet.

You are the second person in two days to lecture me on U3A. I've been aware of the University of the Third Age for years. When I worked in University Applications I would sometimes signpost older people to it who were wondering about university, but deterred by the finance or the commitment, but clearly wanted to do something and be with other people. It was very kind of you. You are right of course. Actually, our local U3A lady lived at the end of my road until she dropped off her perch last year (or should that be graduated?). She hosted regular meetings down there.

Old Fez was surviving until two or three years ago. In his nineties, on Humberside. He's probably gone now. One thing I'll never forget is that he was one of only two masters who offered me a kind word when my dad died during my time in the Sixth Form. He made it very clear that if I needed someone to talk to, he'd always be available ....... but I never went to him, looking back I wish I had. The only other one was your friend BOK. I don't think he'd be ashamed of you, but you'd have got a glare that sent you waddling off to look it up.

At least I never had to confess my weekend programme to BOK. Rugby for the school Saturday morning, straight home and out to play in goal in the top section of the Hope Valley League in the afternoon, that night too tired to do anything, Sunday at least one, sometimes two games of football, so that left me Friday night or a random hour on Sunday to study. Come summer, two games of cricket usually. But I bet, even given the wisdom of years, I do the same again. Like a brainless Red Setter I'd chase any ball, any shape, anytime and anywhere.

[SaltergateBorn]

There already are a lot of pubs closing, Dancing; it`s a process that`s being going on for a few years now but it`s certainly going to accelerate if they start charging prices like that.

Yes, Dev, I do remember both Fez and Jock. I didn`t realise Fez was particularly unpopular; personally I never had any problems with him at all – with either of them, in fact. I remember Jock taking us for Geography for a couple of years, but I don`t remember Fez ever taking us for History. He did a few of my mates, though, and I don`t remember any of them having anything bad to say about him. Did he take Economics as well, or am I confusing him with Spike?

The last time I saw Fez was a few years after I left. Somebody – I don`t know who – organised a `scratch` OC`s team to play a cricket match with a village team down near Kidderminster and I was invited to play. That should tell you how `scratch` it was. Fez captained the team and I remember us all sitting around a table before the match with him organising fielding positions, opening bowlers, batting order and all that. I was gobsmacked, to put it mildly, when he asked me to go in at number 3; I`d expected to bat at 9 or 10. Not that I could bowl, of course, but I was a half-decent (alright, quarter-decent) wicket-keeper and I`d wondered if they had me down for that. However it turned out that one of our lads, whose name I should remember but can`t, had kept wicket for Derbyshire 2nd XI; so I wasn`t overly put out. I did okay, funnily enough. I made 23 and even at this distance in time I`m still happy to bore the whatsits off anybody at all with a detailed account of a glorious (my description and I`m sticking to it) cover-drive that I played in the process.

I left at the same time that Bill Glister retired so I think that was the first and only time I ever met Luigi; he umpired. Credit to him for that, but I can`t say he had Bill`s `presence`. Fez seemed a decent bloke, I thought.

It`s funny how we sometimes remember our teachers for the little human things they do as much as, if not more than, what they teach us. I was in 3REY when my grandfather, who I was very close to, died. I `ve always had fond memories of Bob Young for exactly the same reason.

[Devongone]

Yes, that kind school moment ensures a fond memory, just as Archie Moore's (unusual in my experience) crabby moment has lived with you over that unjust detention.

I don't think Fez did economics. His "unpopularity" was more like suspicion. He seemed to enjoy smacking boy's bottoms. So, there was a kind of homophobia, from which I was immune as I'd worked out I was gay even though I didn't know what it was. Now, Spike was a lovely man. His son was my best mate through junior school - Spike used to drive us to home games at Saltergate, he was a big Town fan. Jock Hetherington was a good bloke, but my most unforgettable memory of him would make you laugh. He looked after the school football team at U-14 I think it was. He was obsessed with the wearing of shin pads and would line up all 22 of us before every practice game to check. He would go along the line kicking every shin. One week my pads got nicked in the changing room. I couldn't ask my dad to buy me some more, so I stood there and had to take two kicks without flinching and give the game away. The following week I improvised with Readers Digests down my socks. They worked, but then I had to play in them ..... and that went on for weeks and weeks until I got some more pads!

As for Bill Glister - a terrifying man, never saw him smile. He never gave me any reason to fear him, but still I did. I think it was the end of the 5th Form for me when we upped sticks for Brookside.

And now here is a horrifying confession for you Salts. I was once slippered by Alf. The news is he wasn't even good at that.

Played cricket for years. I've even won batting averages, but I could NEVER manage a decent cover drive. I could play straight and every leg-side shot was in my repertoire, but the offside tended to be quick singles only.