[SaltergateBorn]

Not going to talk about Alf any more, Dev (just thinking about him will probably curdle my porridge) other than to mourn his passing; couldn`t happen to a nicer bloke or a more deserving one.

You know the old saying about dogs having masters and cats having servants; it couldn`t be more true. We have shared our home – I won`t say `own` because you don`t where cats are concerned -with a succession of cats over the past 40+ years. In fact, it would be more accurate to say that a succession of cats have deigned to allow us to share their home.
The latest incarnations are just shy of 5 months old and have lives that basically consist of 1. Eat 2.Sleep. 3. Play. 4. Crap. 5. Repeat. (Can I come back as a cat next time, please?) We picked them up – from Hasland RSPCA shelter, as it happens – a couple of months ago now as kittens and it`s true that their behaviours are to a great extent moulded in the first few weeks of their lives. I read somewhere that if you want to domesticate a feral cat you have to do it before they`re 6 weeks old; after that it`s too late.

The problem with any rescue animal, cat or dog, is that you don`t know what has happened to them before you get them. Having said that, some cats just don`t like being picked up; one of ours now isn`t too keen, but the other has no problem. So it may be that yours does realise you`d like to pick her up, but just doesn`t want to be. That`s how cats are; their own masters.

Off to Boundary Park this afternoon; wouldn`t mind a repeat of Monday`s result.

[Devongone]

Do hope Boundary Park goes well for you. Worried that Fondop-Talom might come good. I never quite understood why we didn't keep him.

My cat is a double-rescue. She was returned to the Animal Shelter by an owner after she bit a child. Apparently the child pulled her tail. Luna is convinced her response was perfectly reasonable. There is no way my dad would have returned a cat under those circumstances. He'd have said that would teach me not to pull a cat's tail!

Luna's other weakness is that she is a huntress, but she doesn't know her prey can be eaten, so she is likely to release the odd live shrew or wood mouse in the house. I keep two fishing nets at the ready.

I wonder if he whose name cannot be mentioned's Bradley House football team lost to Clarke twice, because they weren't really very bothered about winning the games for him. They certainly showed an ability to capitulate which hadn't been evident in school teams. I think Archie Moore was in charge of Clarke, do you remember him, only a Forest fan could have disliked him.

[SaltergateBorn]

I`m with your old man 100% there, Dev. If you provoke an animal that has sharp teeth and claws, you`re going to bitten and scratched. Simple as that. I`ve lost count of how many times I`ve been scratched whilst playing with one of ours. My own fault entirely: I never blamed the cat for a second.

We`ve had exactly the same problem many, many times with abandoned rodents wandering around the house. Fortunately, though, none of ours have ever been any good at catching birds - for which I`m eternally grateful.

I was in Bradley and I would definitely have been tempted to throw a match just to piss him off. In fact I`d have been prepared to do far, far worse.

I have to say that Archie Moore was second on my list of objects of hate amongst the staff - and no, I`m not a Forest supporter; my sons are, but I`m not. In the 7 years I spent there he was the only one who ever put me in detention. Even Alf couldn`t manage that, although I`m sure he would have liked to. To make matters worse, it was for something so pathetically petty that even at this distance in time it makes my blood boil and if we ever meet (assuming he`s still above ground) I`ll be quite happy to say so to his face. And he was only there because Bob Young - now he WAS a decent bloke - was ill or had been called away or summat. Sorry, Dev, but I can only speak as I find - or found, in this case.

[Devongone]

Archie was in charge of the school football squad for u-13 or u14 when I was playing for the school. He seemed like a decent sort to me. Our year was so good he persuaded Jephdemort to allow him to get some fixtures for those who couldn't get in the first eleven, including against his old school, Bemrose in Derby ..... and we won the lot. He didn't need to make extra work for himself. I'm only guessing but I suspect he was in-the-closet gay too. I think it may be time to let your detention memories go. Archie would be about 90+ if he's still going. He was only a teacher, not a guard in a concentration guard.

Bob Young was okay-ish. He once gave me 100 lines - "I must not soliloquise at inopportune moments". You can tell I haven't remembered the incident. But I didn't dislike him. He tried to make Latin fun, which is admirable.

Archie took us for Latin for a year and I can't remember him punishing anyone for anything all year.

He, who cannot be mentioned, didn't believe in detentions. He thought corporal punishment was better for a growing boy, or even a full-grown dementor in his case.