[theo_luddite]

Did somebody say some moggies? Where? Where? You can't smell 'em in these masks.



Old McGalphSmithsPharm
Underneath the Arches
Down HD1 Way
Or
A Bridge too Narrow - Screenplay by The Other Car Park
Someone will fall in eventually.
Is the Rope Walk still shut?
'Ow much for a beer in those tents?
Will those tents survive the high winds this weekend?

Kick-off 15:00 UK Time
Saturday 27/11/21



A sunny day in Boro, back in the day when you could just about see the back of yer hand while trying to tell the time. Yorkshire used to play cricket up there, so as far as I'm concerned they'll allus be Yorkshiremen, with not quite what we know as Yorkshire accents. YCCC had to quit playing here when the umps could no longer see as far as the boundary, so they didn't know whether to call a 4, a 6 or just say run like xxxx until the fielder works out where the ball has gone. As and when he throws it in neither us nor the wicket keeper will see it coming either so we'll give 4 overthrows anyroad.

We sent Terry The Terrier up for a look round but, after a little paws, he said there was nowt much to see there.



Boro trundle down the A19 and A1 before hanging a right on the M62 on Saturday with their shiny new manager/head coach Chris Wilder in tow still looking for his first win. Had he hung on a bit longer he might have got his old job back as the Blunts have just canned his successor, Slaviša Jokanović, who has not exactly been tearing up trees to get the Blunts into a spot in mid-table mediocrity land. He's not the only one that's gone so far this week, as you might have noticed, however by turning up at Boro you have to assume he will shortly be in line for an England coaching job, following a long line of former Smoggies coaches who have gone on to, er, bigger and better things working for the FA???

On the tellybox

All over the place apparently, except here ->. https://www.livesoccertv.com/match/40392...lesbrough/

If you can't find us on your favourite local "we charge local sports fans extortionate fees" channel, complain to your second favourite local "we also charge local sports fans extortionate fees" channel and one of them might show one of our games for an extortionate fee sometime next year, or even before if you are lucky. If the match fee is above £250 it's a rip off. We get to watch the way we play all season for that, live in the stadium, no commentary (unless you've the dubious joy of listening to Radio Local playing in your ear) and no replays. If it's less than that and you get replays, commentary, oh and some of that Chumpions League stuff thrown in for the fun of it - stop moaning. They are only practising the camera angles for when we get there.

The Big Match Forecast

Gale force winds, sleet, snow and freezing temperatures forecast for the weekend. You'll feel right at home with this one watching in Canada. Aussies? Sit in barrel of icy water behind the sofa with the air-con blowing cold air at you - it will make you feel just like being back at home. A warm flat beer while you watch? Hell you ex-Larndaner's know how to live don't you?

Time to blow the dust off me thermals for this weekend I think.
How about you?
Who's not turned the heating on yet then? (ya lying b'stards).

Latest news

Things are still quiet on the Pure Legal (whatever) side of things as to whether our current Chairlump is riding out his financial woes and will maintain control of the club or whether our former Chairlump is fully back in the chair again and free to sell the club to the next fool that will continue to pay back his loans from club funds ...... I think that's how it works, according to Soshal Meedja.

Out Injured/Suspended/Isolating

It's a long list that doesn't look like getting much shorter soon, in fact we recently added 2 more to it.
A few coming back by Christmas perhaps but I refuse to play Christmas songs in November and Vallejo has gone for another bit of surgery so, let's see if he's back before Easter.

Back training but not oven ready/Back in the frame

Well according to Careless, given none of the other coaches that came with him (or were already here) have mastered the art of speaking English ...

Duane (mini-Scanz) Holmes could be back for a sooner than expected return on Saturday. We could have used him running at QPR on Wednesday.

Rhodes and Pipa are still on the too-strong-for-light-work routines

Last time out

Town came second in an otherwise entertaining game against QPR down in that there Larndan. The ref was pretty decent for this one,  I have to say so was the chap we had for the WBA game. It's gonna be cold, wet and windy this weekend so you can bet we'll have some whistle happy prat that stops the game every time two players breathe on each other.



Boro didn't fare any better, losing 1:2 at home to Both Ends



One or two wacky results in midweek again to be honest, but when isn't there a few wacky results in this division? BaggieBob will testify to that.



Tables, Form

Town are still sniffing around the top 6 but mid-table mediocrity is currently pulling quite hard on the back of our shirts too, which let's face it is still an improvement of sorts on recent seasons.



As you can see, both clubs are seemingly in tip top form 





If we could just stop losing away where would we be? ...... and if Boro can continue their dodgy all round form, especially away ......



Boro have flirted with the top 6 twice, including a 3 match winning run in October where they beat Posh, Barnsalee and Cardiff all by the same 2-0 score line. Since then they've only drawn 2 in the last 5 to return to mid-table mediocrity, thus screwing up several players points in Snoots' excellent Prediction League. As above, Chris Wilder is yet to show he can turn that round, but then he is playing against us on Saturday and we like to give a new Manager/Coach a helping hand - unless we've signed him that is.

Musical Interlude

Well I wouldn't be Coming Home for Christmas up the Road to Hell if I didn't include a tune or two from this well known Smoggie.



Some websites say they were formed in London, some say it was in Boro', like I need an excuse to play some Whitesnake 





and .......... relax 



On the conveyor belt tonight, er, Saturday afternoon

Boro's owner, Steve Gibson, made his brass in foreign exchange markets, so we shouldn't be too surprised he spent almost as much as the rest of the division in bringing in Martín Payero for the equivalent of £6m in foreign doubloons from CA Banfield. Who? Exactly. Everyone else came and left on freebies or loans, or as they say in the trade - no commission.



Who's banging 'em in

Top scorer is a lad who we let go as a kid as we didn't think he was good enough. He's since played for a few clubs you might or might not have heard of, like Glasgow Rangers as an example. Though only making 2 appearances for the Light Blues in a full season, the big surprise was he was there at all, I'm sure he'd love to get another goal or two on Saturday.



A stellar career as a journeyman is on the cards, but whoever is editing his Wiki page needs to do a bit of catch up work.



Speaking of ketchup - it's been banned from the canteens of certain Prima Donna League clubs again according to sauces in the press.
Is it really detrimental to the well being of top class athletes or has this truly been the reason Spuds haven't been able to string passes together?

A spokesman from Heinz said they were well and truly shaken up by this news, but I took my cap off to him as he said after having their world turned upside down by this, a sharp smack on the bottom would give them their bottle back, along with some renewed vinegar, sorry, vigour for the rest of the seasonings.

They can't all win

Can Town extend their unbeaten home run? Can Fluham stay top? Can Bornmuff beat Coventry? Who will win the bottom feeder nail biter - Posh v Barnsalee? Can Reading get off the trap door? Can Direby move closer to the trap door or the inevitable relegation? Can another Head Coach/Manager get his P45 by Monday?



Tune in to your favourite bat channel at the weekend for the latest round of bat-shit barmy football results in the EFL Chumpionship to find out.

We've played 'em before

and we've some catching up to do



Next up?

Town have a week off before we head darn t'pit again to play Barnsalee at the Friends of Arthur Scargill and Maggie Thatcher Coal Mine Museum Memorial Stadium.

Pressers

Careless talks to Radio Local and others, translated from Esperanto for The Unexamined by his Gran.



https://www.examinerlive.co.uk/all-about...ld-town-fc

The Ramsdens sponsored Ramblings of England's future (or assistant) head coach.

https://youtu.be/01HmXbJRApk
Exceeded the video count limit again so can only provide the link for this one.

and other notes from behind the ForEx counter

https://www.gazettelive.co.uk/sport/foot...--22280736

Ramsdens former Halifax HQ.



http://www.halifaxpeople.com/Halifax-Memories-2.html

Halifax, like most towns used to be full of little breweries. As I said in my Burton Brewers thread, ooooh, aaaaaaages ago, beer didn't used to travel very far, so what would now be called a micro brewery was on almost every street corner, usually as part of a pub. Funny how what goes around comes around isn't it? 

http://www.halifaxpeople.com/Halifax-Breweries.html

[Lord Snooty]

Nice one, theo. More saucy puns there than that postcard place in Holmfirth.

[theo_luddite]

Hopefully they cut the mustard with all our readers

[jjamez]

Saucy line up. Obviously expecting marmite football, like it or not, they're gonna lump it

[Lord Snooty]

Just seen Hoggy turning up at the ground. Looked fit enough to play. Get him on.

Anyway, he was having a word with the head steward, then he disappeared. Think he's helping out with the stewarding today. Look out for him in a fluorescent jacket. Probably picking out the trouble causers in the smoggy end.

Proper captain.

[theo_luddite]

[Amelia Chaffinch]

That was awful. And cold.

[theo_luddite]

Careless on Radio Local post match plus interview with Scott High that appeared after I'd posted the thread

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0b6qxn0

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/p0b6k4n3

[Lord Snooty]

How are we still 8th? Pisch!

[theo_luddite]

Every result went our way today apart from us. Which likely means BaggieBob will be onto a bagful of points as he said he was going against the grain.