[theo_luddite]

January 1st, 2020
Old McAlpSmiths Pharm
Behind the barn doors that we've finally started hitting.
Kick-Off 15:00 UK Time
Just to the bottom left of this picture.





On the tellybox
Not live on the tellybox over here.
But live on t'interweb all over the place if you know where to look.
Or on a red button (maybe) if you subscribe to certain RupertTV Sport Channels

You can't beat the live atmosphere, so get your backside (and any living relatives who are at your place and not too preoccupied with replays of the Queen's Speech) down to the match and cheer the lads on in person.

Stoke fans will be able to pay on the day according to their website so they clearly haven't come close to selling out their allocation. No big surprise there then.

Let's start with a right Dandy of a singalong, feel free to change the words as you wish.



Out with the Old, in with the New
The last decade has been a bit of a roller coaster for Town fans, especially the last couple of years.

Town were in League 1 in the 2009-10 season and made the playoffs by the end of the season where we lost to Millwall over 2 legs.

We went one better the following season, but lost 3-0 to Peterborough at Old Trafford in the final. Some fans nearly go buried under the pile of free t-shirts that rained down around them at the end, but I don't doubt someone somewhere made a killing on eBay over the next few weeks.

We finally made it to the Chumpionship the following season, beating Chef Utd 8:7 on penalties. Where did that final penalty by Simonsen come down from it's high orbit over Wemberlee?. Makes you wonder what happened to those two clubs doesn't it?  

We sat on Championship trap door for a few seasons, including the love-in with Barnsalee fans on the final day of the 12/13 season that sent (er) Posh back down along with Brizzle City and some club called Wolves. What happened to those two?  

It wasn't until the 16/17 Season that Chairman Deano went for broke in an attempt to bring mid-table mediocrity to the club and along with Jurgen Klopp's best man, a certain Herr David Wagner, recruited during the previous season, that Town somehow powered their way into the play-off's again. Despite being thrashed twice by Fulham during the season, who scraped into the play-offs as L666s fell apart again, and we managed to avoid them by er, not chasing Newcastle and Brighton too hard in the final few games.  
So after beating Wendies on (yet more) penalties at theirs, we went on to play Reading at Wemberlee. After a 2 hour snore fest, we went to penalties again ... and then this happened.



Town promoted to the big (now Prima Donna) league for the first time since the team of mostly home-grown lads led by Ian Greaves had got there back in 69/70. Wagner, Schindler and Deano are amongst others that won't ever have to buy themselves a beer in town again - though Deano regularly goes out and buys every Townfan in the pub a beer, as he did this season at Brentford.  

We survived the first season by the skin of our teeth, and a couple of what previously looked like unlikely points from games at The Blue Mancs and Chelski.

If the Wemberlee Play-Off's were the emotional highs, the low came last season with a loud thump, when it was quickly becoming apparent all was not well in the club. By this time last season we were already as good as relegated. Wagbo left after a second (or was it third?) strange transfer window on the trot (he didn't want wingers but we kept signing them) and was replaced by Martin from Wakefield, aka Jan Siewert. He wasn't able to do anything with the team, other than beat Wolves again and claim a part in the one major shining light from this year, 2019.

He's Electric,
We signed him from Charlton Athletic,
He's done things we never expected,
Karlan Grant


Lets hope we can keep him for another season or two, unless we've someone else coming in who can score for fun to replace him.
hands-off-karlan-grant-say-huddersfield-town

As Martin from Wakefield didn't come in until February, how he claimed to be part of that signing I'll never know.

Unfortunately, a squad had been expensively assembled that included more than a few more whining shites than shining lights and Prima Donna's who clearly didn't want to be here (and some who still don't). The last two seasons were probably summed up in one game. West Ham away at the London Stadium last season, nuff sed.

A now ailing Deano also handed the reins over this Summer to his chum Phil Hodgkinson, rather than some no-name billionaire from foreign parts with no feel for the club but loads of dosh to throw around, which would have been the choice of some so called fans elsewhere. The local connection (and no doubt a few quid more than they were earning at Lincoln) certainly helped with his first big decision.

Another poor start to this season and Jan was gone after a slack handful of games that brought only one point and he was eventually replaced by Lincoln Manager Danny Cowley as Manager and his bro as Assistant Manager, shortly after they beat us in the League Cup.

Fortunately my campaigning on these boards was picked up on by Phil at the time () and after a couple of attempts, the ex School Teacher's signed on the bottom line. The rest we hope will be a happier history for the next decade (or at least the next few seasons).

Where would we be now if they'd been in charge from the start of the season? Probably wallowing in mid-table obscurity right now, assuming 6 or 7 more points had been gained from that disastrous start. Exactly where we were aiming to be a few seasons back.

What do you think?

Latest news
The Invisible Men (at least 5 of them at the last count) are all expected to leave in the January window. If DC had his way they'd all be gone by 00:01:00 on Wednesday morning so he can bring some lads in who he thinks (knows?) will be proud to wear the shirt and bust a gut to keep wearing it. This inevitably will include a few more loan players and with the funds freed up from the former Prima Donna players wages, maybe even a couple of permanents for reasonable fees, if such a thing exists in the January window.

There's also negotiations going on with Brighton regarding Mooy. Watch this space on that one.

Hoggy should be back, though after Lewis O'Brien's performance, he might only get 10 minutes at the end of the game to come on and get his 10th yellow card out of the way so he can have another 2 games to fully recover. If, big if, Pritch is fit, then he might make the bench, if he's not another being wrapped in cotton wool.

As for the others who are wrapped up in cotton wool and Christmas Paper ready for the January sales, you know who you are (mostly covered in the  recent Leeds thread) see ya, won't really miss ya.  

DC says he knows who he wants, negotiations have been going on for a while, let's hope he can get them in quickly and Phil doesn't keep his cheque book too tightly closed until the Invisible Men slope off to a more successful future elsewhere (mostly in Europe somewhere I would think).

Last time out
We all went home with a smile on our faces after a good performance against Blackburn and a cracker of a goal from Steve Mounié, even if we had yet another shaky start.


Smoke fans on the other hand were left fuming again after another 1-0 defeat at Fulham.



Skipper Ryan Shawcross picked up an injury and is doubtful for our match.

Tables


So how do you make an Oatcake?

Start off with some porridge oats, an assortment of flours, yeast, salt and warm water, add some baking soda then throw some stuff in to the bowl that only a Stokie would put in.
What's that then?
Well you could ask a well known pair of Stokies like the Hairy Bikers.  


Link to oatcake recipe

Or you could ask the last few managers/head coaches of Stoke.
They've either bought a few or turned what some thought were otherwise good footballers into a bag full of them.
The Bookies usually go on squad player value as some indication of where a club might finish the season when offering the opening odds.  Stoke have the 2nd highest squad value, we were 3rd at the start of the season. Good to see that's all worked out alright then isn't it?

Head to BET365 for the latest odds and make their chairman and his poor little rich girl daughter happy.  

What's going on down in the Potting Shed?

Since ditching the dour if mid-table obscurity ensuring football of Tony Pulis that The Baggies fans on here will be all too familiar with, they've tried to play prettier football (er, if that's what Mark Sparky Hughes called it) but that secure mid-table Prima Donna League obscurity is now long gone.

Beginning with tumbling out of the Prima Donna League (we all know how that works), they've gone through a slack handful of coaches/managers in an effort to try and turn the stumbling Stokies into a side that can challenge for promotion back to the Greedy League.

Unfortunately, they keep going in the wrong direction, which kind of indicates that Bet365 owner and chairman Peter Stokes

has allowed something smelly to fester for too long down in the bowels of Smoke-on-Stench. He's tried throwing money at it in transfers and players wages and he's tried throwing all these guys at it. Sir Stanley Matthews will be spinning in his grave if they go down again.  



One of his first attempts was that well known trick of firing Sparky Hughes and hiring Paul Lambert just before they played Town in our first season amongst the Prima Donna's. It worked (as usual) like a dream as the Potters ran out 2-0 winners. Unfortunately that was their one and only victory for the rest of the season as Lambert, Crouchie and all slumped back into the bottom three.

Gary Rowett peed off the Rams fans by taking a drive up the A50 to continue his own Grande Tour d'Midlands clubs. He was quickly turfed for Luton Manager, Nathan Jones, but he didn't stay too long either. Current incumbent Michael O'Neill still has his fingers in the Norn Iron pie, just in case and I don't blame him.

There's something stirring down in the old porcelain bowl though as he's taken them off the bottom, a place we gleefully handed to them shortly after the Cowleys took over, and they're currently level for devils with Barnsalee and Luton on 21 points with the best GD of the 3 of them by a margin. He's trying to polish the turd but hasn't quite turned them into a floater just yet.

Thank you for the music

A couple of Stoke's more famous musical sons include a certain Ian Fraser Kilmister, aka the Ace of Spades, Lemmy from Motorhead,


A certain Port Vale fan who would like you to Let Him Entertain You, a tune that Town used to walk out to when it was still just the McAlpine Stadium (I think, but if you tell me the Pill Pushers were by then in charge of us, the egg chasers and the stadium, I wouldn't argue).


Sorry about that racket at the start, I never realised we had so many young screaming women watching us.  

and a young chap that was born in that there Larndan, but brought up by his dad and grand-folks in Smoke.
He now goes under the moniker of Slash.


Innies and Outies


Recent transfers between the clubs have resulted in Paul Ince (£10m), and Tommy Smith (£4m) heading for the North Staffordshire high-life in Smoke-on-Stench and one of our invisible men, Ramadan Sohbi (£6m) heading for the Northern lights of West Yooarkshire. He's so enamoured with our weather he's preferred to go back and play under the shade of the Pyramids on the banks of the river Nile for the last 12 months and I'm not holding my breath on him ever wearing a Town shirt again either.

Another of our not-so-well-though-out transfers if you ask me. It's absolute madness, Madness I tell thee ...



Who's banging 'em in



We've played 'em before
Our visit to Smoke-on-Stench back in October resulted in a 0-1 win thanks to a late, and I mean very late, Bacuna goal. It was our first win anywhere since we beat Wolves, our first win of the season and also the first time we'd nilled anyone since Noah parked his Ark up to watch the floods die down. It took us until December to do it again with a similar late smash and grab at Charlton, though it seems were were far more on top at Charlton than we were at Stoke.

Stoke still have their nose in front in the overall results.


They can't all lose


Pressers
A bit thin on the ground at the moment. Radio Local are either hiding their versions or not posting them but if I find anything I'll add them here.

cowley-pre-stoke-we're-fighting-for-a-cause

In the meantime
huddersfield-town-manager-danny-cowley-on-building-strong-connections

oneill-championship-relegation

O-Neill-seeing-clear-signs-of-progress

Smith-Squad-strength-can-see-us-through



Hope everyone had a right Beano of a Christmas.  
The 6 points we've picked up so far have been a very nice Christmas Prezzie.
A few more on New Years Day would be the icing sugar dusting on the Mince Pies.
Here's to a brighter and better 2020 and for the next decade to Town fans everywhere and all who contribute to these boards.

Before I forget

[Lord Snooty]

Noice one theeoaauw.

Taken me ages to read that.

I reckon the 20s will be a case of history repeating itself as we reach the cup final, get promoted, win the cup, win 3 consecutive League titles, reach another cup final, just like the last 20s.

[Lord Snooty]

Where would we be now if they'd been in charge from the start of the season? Probably wallowing in mid-table obscurity right now, assuming 6 or 7 more points had been gained from that disastrous start. Exactly where we were aiming to be a few seasons back.

What do you think?

Well first of all, it has to be said that I don't think they would've come in the summer, having just got Lincoln promoted and seeing how much persuasion it took to get them here at all.
But if they had come then, we would be well up there in contention for a play off place, in my opinion.

[theo_luddite]

Before the Blackburn game I ran a form check. We'd done 18 games with the Cowley's in charge with a 6,6,6 WDL record. The nearest I could get was 15 and 20 games. 15 had us 9th, 20 had us ~ 13th. Now of course that assumes they wouldn't have made any pre-season changes. The extra point or so a game prior to them arriving pro-rata's out of those 18 games = 24 points. Had they been here soon enough to make squad changes, yes I think we'd be nearer the top 6, in this league it's only a few more points anyway.

Nathan Jones jumped to Stoke after bringing Luton up. Enough Danegeld and the chance to run a bigger club up the league can and will turn ambitious managers heads.

It's all if's but's and maybe's after all.

[theo_luddite]

Hoggy back in for Kachunga who limped off on Sunday

https://mobile.twitter.com/htafc/status/...80/photo/1

Stoke make 5 changes, Ince on the bench, Smith starts

https://mobile.twitter.com/stokecity/sta...97/photo/1

[Lord Snooty]

Town’s team vs Stoke City
1. Kamil Grabara
6. Jonathan Hogg
7. Juninho Bacuna
8. Trevoh Chalobah
16. Karlan Grant
17. Danny Simpson
24. Steve Mounié
26. Christopher Schindler ©
27. Jon Gorenc Stanković
28. Jaden Brown
39. Lewis O’Brien

Substitutes
Joel Coleman; Josh Koroma, Fraizer Campbell, Florent Hadergjonaj, Rarmani Edmonds-Green, Demeaco Duhaney, Matty Daly

---

Tommy Smith playing. Ince on t bench.

[Amelia Chaffinch]

What a cock up. 0-1.

---

Bacuna looks hapless and Chalobah can't make a decision to save his life. They're not the only ones looking jaded, mind. We need some fresh legs, me thinks and another dose of confidence.

---

1-1 Ole ole ole Mounie

---

2-1

---

Own goal I think

[Amelia Chaffinch]

2-2 after ref ignored a foul on Hogg

---

2-3

---

2-4

---

2-5. Chalk it up and come back fighting.

[Lord Snooty]

My fault. Still 2-1 up I said their no26 looked good. Me and my big mouth!

[Lord Snooty]

Well that was piss poor, wasn't it?

We were out muscled throughout the game. Vokes particularly on Stankovic, whose hero status didn't last long following his man of the match display the other day. We couldn't deal with high balls and when one took a deflection and got a wicked spin on it, Simpson made a hash of it and we were one down.

But after half time, we were quite undeservedly in the lead and should've had the capability to see the rest of the match through. Instead, the inspirational Tyreese Campbell took over. What a player he looks. He gave young Jaden the run around all day and when Kamil made a complete mess of coming out to pinch, Campbell made a superb lob into the back of the net and we were deservedly behind again.

Smoke look a decent team, definitely in a false position, but defensively they look as bad as we did today. We should've done better but we didn't and that's that. The other two goals were just icing on the cake for them as we tried in vain to get back in.

What's worrying now is the embarrassment of having to have the warning message read out during the second half for discriminatory chanting. We'll definitely be getting a fine for that and the excuse that McLean was winding the Town fans up won't wash at all with the authorities. I mean, wtf do Town fans think chanting "F**k the IRA" is going to do? You just can't do shit like that nowadays. Even if you could, what bloody good does it do, other than get the opposition to play better. I know he's an arsehole, but he has his opinions on things and should be respected for that. Just because the Prime Minister, the most powerful man in the country, can get away with being a f**king racist tw*t, doesn't mean you can replicate his actions in a football stand.

So let's hope this doesn't go any further, but I think there will be recriminations.