[theo_luddite]

Larndan Tarn Stadium
Queen Lizzie's Park
Jus' Norf of Wes' 'Aaarm
Darn by the ol' Eas' End innit?
E20 2ST

Kick Off 15:00 UK Time
Some of you guys over the pond have already changed your clocks to Summer Time so watchya, cock

On the Tellybox

Fortunately for us, it will only be highlights on Match of the Day and Sky again, for the rest of the World, you unfortunate people get to watch this drivel live on one of these channels.

https://www.livesoccertv.com/match/30189...ield-town/

Some of us have been daft enough to buy a ticket so we're off for another afternoon in that there Larndan Tarn, hoping not to be back on one of those new quick trains into Larndan by half-time, but somehow, I think we probably will be.

Like this season West Ham got off to a slow start, until Town were the first visitors to play them in their brand spanking new, 2nd hand former Olympic Stadium. We were so overawed we let them win 2-0, with sick note Andy Carroll coming back from injury to bully our centre backs into submission. Well sick note is out injured again and has likely played his last game for the 'ammers, so it's goodnight from him.

The Stadium

Converted from an expensive athletics stadium into a, erm, even more expensive athletics stadium with a bigger roof at great cost (it would have been cheaper to knock it darn an' start again), Wes' Aaaaarm, borrow it during the winter so folk with binoculars can do a spot of babble watching. Occasionally a game of football breaks out but as folk are spread halfway across the East End, mostly they don't notice.



Tree Huggers

Now being the responsible, environmentally aware people that they are, the Stadium Company are apparently going to try and keep a track on where your 'a few more times than once' used plastic beverage cups get to.

It says so on their website.



How far they will trail them isn't said, but I guess someone sat on the Thames Barrier will be counting them all out and counting them all back in again each time the tide turns.

The Bloke in Charge

Former Man City Manager Manuel Pellegrini, took over a little bit before kick-off at the start of the season and managed them to a run of results over the first 4 games that we've been emulating since December. Since then, their babbles have been floating higher and higher into mid-table obscurity. If they do fade and die, they won't fall to earth too quickly.



Having said that, apart from this chap from Chile having a name that sounds like a crap Italian beer, there's something about him that reminds me of someone. I'm sure others have noticed and may even have commented on it for the home thread (too lazy to look, sorry).

As they say in some of the esteemed mags like Private Eye, they could have been separated at birth and I think we should be told.



Pellegrini                          ................                    Orinoko Womble
(hey mate - don't I know you?)


Last Time Out

Remember your a womble? Both teams were represented by a complete set of cock-wombles if nothing else last weekend. While Town laid down and had their tummies tickled yet again by Bornmuff, Wes' Aaaarm were doing the same in Sarf Welsh Wales at Cardiff.





Form Guide
If only we had some



At least we ain't bottom of that one (yet).



Innies and Outies

The following have been contemplating their navels, one way or another while earning (or formerly earning) a good wedge



Yup, yet another club to throw the thick end of all this seasons telly brass at it.

They picked up relative bird seed for the leavers though.



Still don't understand why we didn't have a sniff at Hugill when it was bloody obvious from the off under Wagbo that we needed someone that could score goals.

Who's banging 'em in?

Not Andy Cap, sorry Carroll, this season.



A reasonable spread of goals from all over the place, when they can be bothered that is.

Who else can lose his weekend?

Not many - there's something called the FA Cup going on, more games off than on. Can you imagine a company like Sky putting up with that? I mean, teams playing in the most famous and most important Cup competition in the world disrupting their precious Prima Donna League fixtures?



I can't see it happening next season. Just in case you've been living in a cave and haven't seen Snoots's Prediction League, here are the FA Cup fixtures.



Siewerts Sage Slaver

Nowt posted on Radio Local that I've found yet so it's the drivel on our own Town website I'm afraid.

Huddersfield Town Head Coach Jan Siewert went into detail about the players available to him ahead of this weekend’s Premier League game against West Ham United.

The Terriers have had a number of injury problems over the last month and Siewert gave an update on the squad he has available this weekend.

“It’s easier to talk about the players who were on the pitch!” joked Town’s Head Coach.

“Unfortunately, there’s many injuries at the moment. Still Adama (Diakhaby), Isaac (Mbenza) are missing. DD (Demeaco Duhaney) is still out and Lolo (Laurent Depoitre) is missing. This has a big impact.

“Hoggy won’t be back until after the international break, maybe two or three weeks, it depends on his rib.

“TK (Terence Kongolo) still has problems, so we will look at them. We could see him back early, there may be a chance he trains tomorrow but he should be back in the international break.

“Erik Durm had a small muscle problem yesterday in training. He couldn’t train today but maybe tomorrow he could be back. Danny Williams is still out too.

“We have Tommy (Smith) back, he is no longer suspended, which is a positive thing.

“We had 15 who were healthy on the pitch today and we know West Ham has a big squad.”



STOP PRESS

Kachunga has his say on Radio Local
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p073nr5v

Think I've maxed out on video's - not that I know how to post the Radio Local one's anyway.

There's a distinct lack of music thus far on this thread, so regardless of whether they support the 'ammers or not, here's a short selection of East Larndan bands (and I don't care if they support Charlton either before someone has a pop).

Oo' are ya?


Still 'anging around? Pure self indulgence.


and finally ... a bit of Glasto, for those that like a roll in the mud, the crap and the beer.


Thank you for the days Town, there's always next season.

What? How do you get there? Sorry, nearly forgot.

https://www.footballgroundguide.com/leag...nited.html

I've done for now so don't hurry back, unless you want to add to the discussion.

[Lord Snooty]

Nice one theo.

Sham 69 are West Ham fans. If the Kids are United.

[jjamez]

Seems like Carroll has played his last game for wham. Would a little careless whisper in his ear tomorrow maybe make him come back north to replace lolo and mounie?

Always rated him, problem is he's always injured, but when his fit he's a nasty bugger to play against

[SHEP_HTAFC]

Excellent thread theo
Not that I'm particularly bothered or enthused with Town games anymore this season, but I fear for this one.
They have a lot of match winners in their team....so even if we are playing well, all it takes is a bit of magic from one of them and it's game over.
Once they get one, we won't score, and they could get a few more.
Could we be mathematically relegated after this weekend? It sure seems that way.

[theo_luddite]

You aren't the only one SHEP. I bought the West Ham ticket for this weekend on the back of ... I ain't been to either of their grounds, and I managed to dodge the 'lympics when they were in town. So that and riding the crest of an alcoholic wave after we beat Wolves means I'm off darn the smoke again tomorrow. I've then got 2 weekends of golf before we play Leicester at home. Palace last season was a must do - this season it's a can't be bothered anymore as is Spurs, even in their shiny new toilet bowl.

This thread was very nearly a 606 2 line epic, but then I thought - I'm not dragging myself down to the level of some of the part-time over-paid Prima-Donna's we've saddled ourselves with. Standards to uphold, readers to edumacate and all that bollocks. No, Carroll for me, as much as I agree about what's been said when he's fit, would just be a far more expensive Danny Williams. 2 or 3 games a season is no bloody use to us on the funny money his agent will still try to squeeze out of someone, other than a paid-if-you-played deal and another contract if you score 20 goals in 30+ appearances. Think he likes the Dog and Duck more than the training field too to be honest.

---

updated with link to Kachunga interview

[Lord Snooty]

So properly darn ter t bare bones then. What we got left?

Lossl

Bacuna Schinz Zanks Lowe

Stanks

Pritch Billing Mooy

Mounie Grant

Subs. Hamer, Flo, Daly, Rowe, Smith, Kacha, Punchbag.

[ritchiebaby]

Hopefully another fiver from me.

[theo_luddite]

West Ham

1 Fabianski
5 Zabaleta
23 Diop
21 Ogbonna
3 Cresswell
16 Noble
41 Rice
30 Antonio
10 Lanzini
8 Felipe Anderson
7 Arnautovic
Substitutes
4 Balbuena
11 Snodgrass
13 Adrián
17 Hernández
18 Nasri
26 Masuaku
27 Pérez

Huddersfield

1 Lössl
37 Durm
2 Smith
5 Kongolo
15 Löwe
7 Bacuna
27 Stankovic
10 Mooy
44 Rowe
16 Grant
21 Pritchard
Substitutes
8 Billing
12 Hamer
24 Mounie
25 M Jorgensen
33 Hadergjonaj
41 Daly
42 Puncheon

Referee:
Jonathan Moss

[theo_luddite]

I do believe I just saw us score a goal, away.

[St Charles Owl]

I do believe I just saw us score a goal, away.

If you have stopped jumping around after scoring one, you would also have now seen a second!!!!