03-12-2014, 22:35
Dear Father Christmas,
It's been a long time since I last wrote to you (the fateful Yuletide when you mistakenly deposited a DIY roof-tiling kit down our chimney in place of a ZX Spectrum was, I fear, a point of no return) but I once again have a proposition requiring the attention of your elves. In fact, if you have eleven elves who can pass a ball forwards and another who's capable of teaching them not run around like headless chickens under the slightest pressure, this would go a long way to solving my predicament altogether.
Failing that, all I want for Christmas is:
1. Someone capable of scoring goals without huffing and puffing for half an hour to win a penalty first
2. Someone who can outpace a sloth at least six times out of ten, and can reliably kick a football from the side of the pitch into the penalty area, thus making request number one eminently more likely
3. Given the very real possibility that we already have people who can fulfil both of these requirements, could you provide us with someone who'll actually give them the chance to?
4. And, of course, a ZX Spectrum. Better late than never, you corpulent simpleton.
Fly safe, mucka
Ska'd
P.S. Due to an unfortunate misprint at the calendar factory, Christmas Day this year will actually be taking place on Saturday 6th December, and following a wholly unexpected and highly localised tornado, my chimney is currently located at the KC Stadium in Hull.
It's been a long time since I last wrote to you (the fateful Yuletide when you mistakenly deposited a DIY roof-tiling kit down our chimney in place of a ZX Spectrum was, I fear, a point of no return) but I once again have a proposition requiring the attention of your elves. In fact, if you have eleven elves who can pass a ball forwards and another who's capable of teaching them not run around like headless chickens under the slightest pressure, this would go a long way to solving my predicament altogether.
Failing that, all I want for Christmas is:
1. Someone capable of scoring goals without huffing and puffing for half an hour to win a penalty first
2. Someone who can outpace a sloth at least six times out of ten, and can reliably kick a football from the side of the pitch into the penalty area, thus making request number one eminently more likely
3. Given the very real possibility that we already have people who can fulfil both of these requirements, could you provide us with someone who'll actually give them the chance to?
4. And, of course, a ZX Spectrum. Better late than never, you corpulent simpleton.
Fly safe, mucka
Ska'd
P.S. Due to an unfortunate misprint at the calendar factory, Christmas Day this year will actually be taking place on Saturday 6th December, and following a wholly unexpected and highly localised tornado, my chimney is currently located at the KC Stadium in Hull.
Classic Match
Hull City 1-2 West Bromwich Albion
Football League, Division Two: 31st October 1992
You have to hand it to Ossie Ardiles; he knew how to stop the rot in style after a winless run. Having Darren Bradley on form helped; attacking the other team didn't hurt, either.
"I would rather spend a holiday in Tuscany than in the Black Country, but if I were compelled to choose between living in West Bromwich or Florence, I should make straight for West Bromwich." - J.B. Priestley
![[Image: 1348664730___West_Brom_-_Banner.png]](http://www.footballaid.com/uploads/teams/1348664730___West_Brom_-_Banner.png)
