[Amelia Chaffinch]

Wednesday 9th May

7.45pm

Stamford Bridge

Chelsea play at Stamford Bridge, London not Stamford Bridge, East Riding of Yorkshire. That is their first mistake. Who wants to go to London? It's not even a bridge. This is a bridge:

How do you confuse a Chelsea fan?

Take him to London and then ask him for directions.

All Chelsea people drive Chelsea 4X4s known as Chelsea tractors. Then again, from what I have seen, so do most of our players. 

Overall we have held our own against Chelsea. Unfortunately recent results aren't in our favour. But we'll not dwell on that. If we can hold Man City to a draw, why can't we do the same on Wednesday?

Top scorers are Hazard (16), Morata (15) but he wasn't even on the bench on Sunday, and Willian (13). 

Form: W W W W D L

Ours: D L W D L L

As we know, our top scorers are a little less prolific; Mounie (9), Depoitre (5), Van the Man (5). Shall we look at it as it's quality, not quantity?   No one likes a show off. 

Tommy Smith and Chris Lowe made their first starts on Sunday for a while. 

Did you hear about the new Chelsea Bra?

Lots of support but no cups.

Chelsea buns are ok, though...

Q: Why do Chelsea blokes drink from a saucer? 

A: Because the cup's in Manchester! 

Of course we have a lot to thank Chelsea. They lent us Izzy Brown and Kasey Palmer who helped us into this league in the first place. 

Steve Francis, Frank Sinclair and Danny Drinkwater have played for both. 

One of their celebrity fans sings their praises:

I like this one except when they use it!:

Jokes courtesy of www.jokes4us.com and www.soccermaniak.com

[themaclad]

Swansea v Southampton huge game positive result for one of them gives you a chance a draw will muddy the waters somewhat

[St Charles Owl]

I would suggest that a Swansea win would be best for you. I can see them beating Stoke in their last match but Soton will probably lose to Man City so them getting no wins means you stay up!!

[Amelia Chaffinch]

We've been favouring a Swansea win but I would rather not have the excitement! If only we could have beaten Swansea and when we had the chance, we wouldn't have been quite so worried about other results now!

[Lord Snooty]

I hope Chris Lowe is fit enough to start. Don't know what's wrong with him but I hope they get him sorted in the summer. He never seems able to play a full 90. And Malone just hasn't been good enough.
Hopefully we'll get Kongolo signed up but I think we may need to get yet another left back signed on.
Wagz hardly ever picks the same XI and I doubt he will this time. Think the format will possibly be the same but I reckon Malone in for Lowe, Ince for Pritchard if he's fit and Depoitre for Mounie.

---

Oh and Hefele and Stankovic in for Schindler and Zanka.

[jjamez]

Think coleman will come in too along with whitehead...

[Lord Snooty]

Rob Green up front.

[theo_luddite]

More chance of David Coleman playing. Nice one AmChaff, short but sweet and to the point. Trying to work out who's going to be leaving for my season ender and that's just Arsenil.

[Amelia Chaffinch]

I can't compete with you, Snoots and jj!

[Lord Snooty]

So am I right in thinking that if we grind out another goalless draw that Chelsea can more or less kiss goodbye to the Champions League? We've been concentrating so much on ourselves that we seem to have lost sight on how important a game this is for them as well.