[Arcane Astral Aeons]

(you knew this was coming)

Captains Log:
we are unable to beam down to planet Earth due to a virus that is sweeping the planet
we are monitoring transmissions from a Donald Trump who is claiming the virus is a hoax


Spock has evaluated the situation and thinks this Trump guy is a tawt(vulcan for TWAT)

we were all watching T.V transmissions from The Hawthorns last night

and while Spock was being illogical as usual the rest of the crew were confident that WBA would make it back to the earths Premier League

apart from spock  we all had faith

so at the end of the game as we watched the WBA manager getting soaked with what is known on earth as champagne
we decided to give spock the same treatment
and we we covered him in romulan ale

he woke up this morning worse for wear

next transmission will be from the far reaches of SLAVeinan

for now Kirk Out