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#1
Roger was visiting the cemetery and he couldn't help noticing a man kneeling in front of a gravestone, clasping his hands and sobbing. 
Roger went a bit closer and could hear what the man was saying. 'Why did you have to die?' he was repeating, 'Why did you have to die?'
Feeling he ought to do something to alleviate the man's obvious distress Roger laid his hand on the his shoulder saying gently, 'Was it someone you loved very much?'
The man looked up at him and said, 'No, I never met him, he was my wife's first husband.' [Image: 1f602.png]?[Image: 1f602.png]?[Image: 1f602.png]?

Wow!!!! You will not believe what happened today where I live, that having pulled in to get petrol at the petrol station, and having worried about credit card scammers, I went inside to pay. Then as I was walking️ in, noticed these 2 cops watching a guy who was smoking while pumping petrol, and thought, "Is this man drunk, stupid️, or just crazy️?!!
Well with the cops not giving this guy a ticket or whatever you receive for smoking while dispensing petrol? Anyway, having paid, as I was checking out, I heard someone screaming, and my gut knowing what was happening, I looked out the window and saw the guy's arm was on fire, and as he was swinging his arm around and going crazy. Then saw the officers take him to the ground after they'd put the fire out with their coffee️!!

Then they handcuffed him and threw him in the back of their police car, so being the curious person, I asked the cops what they were arresting him for... 
And the officer looked me square in the eyes and said ........ 
"WAVING A FIREARM!"[Image: 1f602.png]?
WBA World Cup P/League WINNER 2018. WBA League Cup Winner 2021.
WBA Prediction Legue WINNER 2020/21 Play off winner 23
HUDDERSFIELD FC Prediction League WINNER 2021/22/RU 23

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#2
At a recent Black Country Derby, Darren Moore aka BIG DAVE goes into the Baggies changing room to find all his players looking a bit glum. “What’s up?” he asks.
“Well, we’re having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it’s important but it’s only Wolves and we can’t be bothered, they’re shite”.
Darren looks at them and says, “Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub.”
So Big Dave goes out to play for the Albion by himself and the rest of the Albion team go off for a few beers. After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the television on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads “Albion 1 - Wolves 0” (Moore 10 minutes) he is beating the Dingles all by himself!

Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers “It must be full time now, let’s see how he got on.” They put the teletext on. “Result from The Hawthorns WBA 1 (Moore 10 mins) - Wolves 1 (Jimenez 90 mins)
They can’t believe it; he has single-handedly gotten a draw!! They rush back to Hawthorns to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. He says, “I’ve let you down, I’ve let you down.”
“Don’t be daft, you got a draw, all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end!” the players say.
To which Big Dave replies: “No, no, I have, I’ve let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes”.
BLACK COUNTRY BY BIRTH, ALBION BY THE GRACE OF GOD AND MY OLD MAN

You go in the cage? cage goes in the water, sharks in the water....Our Shark Cry

Ultrinque Paratus
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#3
A couple were celebrating their golden wedding anniversary, but the husband had something on his mind. “There’s something which has always bugged me about the children” he said. “I can’t help noticing that out of our eight kids Ben looks different from all the others. I know it’s a terrible thing to ask, but does he have a different father?”
The wife couldn’t bear to look him in the eye. “Yes, it’s true,” she admitted. “Ben does have a different father from the other seven.”
The husband’s heart sank. Fighting back the tears, he said: “You have to tell me. Who is Ben’s father?”
She looked at him sorrowfully and said: “You.” [Image: 1f602.png]?[Image: 1f602.png]?[Image: 1f602.png]?
WBA World Cup P/League WINNER 2018. WBA League Cup Winner 2021.
WBA Prediction Legue WINNER 2020/21 Play off winner 23
HUDDERSFIELD FC Prediction League WINNER 2021/22/RU 23

Best author award Mystery Novels 2021 Thumb up
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#4
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom.
One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about
one of your students?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test. Before you talk to me about my
student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"
"No, on the contrary ...".
"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?".
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued." You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really..."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed. This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why he never found out that his student, Plato, was having an affair with his wife. [Image: 1f642.png]:-) 
WBA World Cup P/League WINNER 2018. WBA League Cup Winner 2021.
WBA Prediction Legue WINNER 2020/21 Play off winner 23
HUDDERSFIELD FC Prediction League WINNER 2021/22/RU 23

Best author award Mystery Novels 2021 Thumb up
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#5
A woman goes to the doctor's surgery where she is seen by one of the younger less experienced Doctors.

After about 4 minutes in the examination room, she rushes out screaming and runs down the hall.

An older Doctor managed to stop her and he asked her what the problem was.
He sat her down in his room and told her to relax and she told him her story.

The older Doctor then marched down the hallway to where the younger Doctor was writing up his case notes.
"What the hell is the matter with you?" the older Doctor demanded, "Mrs Terry is 81 years of age, has four grown children and seven grandchildren and you told her that she was pregnant.?"

The younger Doctor looked up and said "Yes but does she still him the hiccups?
Some days I'm top dog, most days I'm just the lamp post.
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