V

V

Burnley v Huddersfield Town
Turf Moor
South of Pendle Hill
Not far from the Witches Cauldron
Lancashire
BB10 4BX

The Skinny

Separated by 0 points and 1 goal in goal difference, Town go head to head with the Witches of Pendle Hill on Saturday in a Roses clash with the winner going 3 points clear of t'other. They've certainly gone about getting their 8 points the hard way. While we were handing a footballing lesson to Frank de Boer on day one, Burnley were going rampant at Chelski, sticking 3 past them before two 2nd half goals made it look like Chelski were actually interested. They've followed that up with 1:1 draws against Spurs and Liverpool on their travels, Scott Arfield firing in a stunner last weekend at Anfield. We taught him well Pity we had dumb ass coaching staff that played him out of position and wondered why he got pissed off.

At home however they lost their first home game to The Baggies, 0-1 and beat Palace 1-0 despite Palace having most of the play and most of the scoring chances if you believe the stats and Mr. de Bore. It was that fella Wood, signed from L666s for £15 million that scored in the first minute and given he likes scoring against us, we'll do well to keep him quiet for 90 minutes. They've actually gone and bought, yes bought one of our players since, but he's back in Bermuda rebuilding the family home after a strong breeze blew it down and getting over ankle surgery, so won't play in this game.



It will be interesting to see if Wagbo picks Mounié or Depoitre up front, or goes besreck and picks both. One way or the other town will likely have at least 9 changes from Tuesday night's side that was (ahem) picked to progress in the League Cup.

Keeping the faith.

The Burnalee board have decided they've got a keeper for now in manager Sean Dyche, whether promoted or relegated, a refreshing change from the shotgun approach of a few clubs we could mention. Whilst they struggled to pick up points away from Turf Moor last season they picked up more than enough at home to keep them safe. Another thing they are good at is selling their leading scorer to the likes of Liverpool, QPR, Watford, whoever and finding another one to replace him. OK Wood has cost 'em a bob or two this time and they've added a few more goals with Nahki Wells, when he returns to fitness, but they seem to thrive on it. Sam Vokes isn't exactly a shrinking violet up front either.

At the other end of the park they have an excellent England goalie in Tom Heaton, making him the 3rd England stopper in 4 league games that Town would have faced. Unfortunately he's out injured after an op on his shoulder, he dislocated it following a heavy fall against Palace.


Adam Pope of Radio L666s fame will apparently be deputising given he's nowt to commentate on in The Championship these days.


I wouldn't have a problem if Heaton was England's No.1 over Joe Hart to be honest. I and probably many England fans can but hope that young Mr. Southgate sees sense soon, but likely he won't have to for next months internationals as Heaton will be out for a good while yet.

You what? You what, you what, you what?
Nick Pope you say? Who's he then? Do ya not know who ya goalie is? Do ya not?

In the Arrivals Hall
Including the two above, they've done most of their shopping in the bright lights of L666s and Smoke-on-Stench on this summer. Overall they blew a paltry £30 million. Loose change compared to the really idiotic spending of some in the top 6, such is the distorted world of unreality that is the Prima Donna League. As with former player Dennis Law, Town sold Nahki Wells to Burnalee and immediately bought a new set of floodlights. Hopefully these won't blow over in the first strong wind of winter and for once, Wolves won't be the first to play under our bright new lights.


In the Departure Lounge
That £30 million spending spree was easily funded by the £45 million they raked in from the sales of Michael Keane, Andre Gray and household name er Tendayi Darikwa. (Well, maybe not). The wage bill took a nose dive too with Joey Barton putting a bet on himself not playing again in a competitive match. George Boyd got shipped out to Wendies so we won't be seeing him this season in a League game, or a League Cup game either.



Last League Line-ups



Latest results
Burnalee

Town


Table


Head-2-Head


Tickets
Town sold out their allocation before the butter had melted into my toast and likely it will be close to a sell out 21,401 crowd if it isn't already.
Not sure if Burnalee give out those cardboard clapper things to up the atmosphere a bit but they don't really need them with a hard core of 6 fingered fans from Tod supporting them.

Bit of Burnalee History
Sport has been played at Turf Moor since 1883, some sites say Burnalee have played there since 1883. Being the only bit of flat land in Burnalee for miles around, they put a football ground at the back of the cricket pitch after the lads in whites invited them to move there from their Calder Valley ground. Turf Moor hosted its first Football League match on 6 October 1888, when Burnley won 4–1 against Bolton Wanderers. The record attendance at Turf Moor was set in 1924 when 54,755 people attended an FA Cup tie between Burnley and Huddersfield Town. All I know is, they still haven't found another flat piece of land in Burnalee.

They won the League in 1920/21, while Town were winning the FA Cup and just before Town became the best taam in the country and then waited until 1960/61 to do it again. They won the FA Cup in 1913/14, again not long before us but like ourselves they have spent far too many recent seasons trawling around in the lower divisions. They have, however picked themselves up from the floor of the old 4th Division, aka League 2 and become a bit of a Prima Donna League/Championship yo-yo club. Not that there's owt wrong with that tha' knows. Didn't do The Baggies any harm and Newcastle keep having a go at it too.

Last season was the first time they have avoided relegation staight after promotion since the cows were mowing the grass on the village green, however, the yo-yo experience doesn't seem to have done them any harm and they aren't losing site of who they are and where they've come from. A good example to follow if you ask me and Deano has taken note. Newcastle on the other hand Doh We'll do well to hang on to Burnalee's coat tails for the first half of this season and if we can get as many points off the top 6 as they already have when we have our run of games against them, we'll be well set.

They were lauded and famed for their youth and scouting system in the 60's, with many players coming through to play at international level for all the home countries and the Murphy's. They held their own against their noisy Manchester neighbours, selling many a player literally down the river to the big noises in Sky Blue and Red for good money at the time and other clubs down the Rossendale and Calder Valleys (the Lancashire version, not the Yorksha one) often looked on with some envy at the time.

Redevelopment on two sides of the ground in the 90's brough the first new stands since the Bob Lord Stand back in the 70's (I might be out with the dates but I'm sure it's been around for a while). An early example of a cantilever stand in it's time, it is now dwarfed by the two new stands. Surely the bloody awful David Halfwit Stand will be the next to go. Decked out with left over seats from when they built The Titanic, it only serves to spoil the view of the cricket from inside the football stadium. That and it gives the away fans somewhere to stand now that their copy of our old Leeds Road Terrace, that they knew as The Longside has been redeveloped. Trouble is, every time they plan to knock down the Halfwit Stand, or even stick another level on The Bob Lord stand - they get relegated and the plans get shelved again.

The Important and Really Helpful Stuff

How to get there

Do you not know how to get there? Do you not?

By car - up the Yorkshire Calder Valley and down the Lancashire one if you like the scenic route. Loads of pubs and fun to be had with the girls that bat for Lancashire in Hebden Bridge and the kissing cousins in Tod. When you get to Accrington, turn round and come back, you've gone too far.

Otherwise 'ovver t'hill on t'M62 and hang a right up the M66 to the A56 and another right onto t'M56. When you get to Nelson, turn round and come back, you've also gone too far dozy sod. There's a few way side halts up the A56. From anywhere else - the postcode is at the top of the thread, buy a satnav or a smart phone with Google maps. Other good map apps are available depending on your smartphone operating system. Some of them actually work too. One way or the other you'll end up on the end of one of those superb set of directions eventually. When you get to Burnalee, look for the copper directing traffic in the middle of the road, buy him a Cornetto and you're there.



Where to park

Anywhere that's not illegal and where the supermarkets won't clamp you if you stay for more than a couple of hours. Maybe leave your cars where you tried to turn round and get the bus back from Accrington or Nelson.

By choo-choo

Burnalee Manchester Road is the nearest station. Chuffa trains arrive there eventually from Halifax, Manchester Victoria and Preston. If you like switching trains a lot then Mirfield - Tod - Burnalee is another option. Burnalee "anywhere else" stations give you a chance to explore Burnalee in all its glory (supposed to be sunny this weekend) and grab a pint in the shadow of a closed cotton mill - or take the long walk passed a dozen closed pubs on the way to the ground.

Where to drink, eat, buy a newspaper and/or a programme, which end of the ground to go in, how much the pies cost, do they serve decent beer/lager/cider, roll-your-owns, fish and chips, amphibian soup, Betty's hotpot and are the locals friendly?

It's all in here, (along with directions that are far more confusing than mine - why the hell would you go all the way over to the M6 ffs unless you live where I do?).
http://www.footballgroundguide.com/leagues/turf-moor-burnley.htm Other Football Ground guides are available on t'interweb. Have a look, not hard to find.

So who's gonna win?

Team that scores most goals you dozy sods, isn't that how it normally works?
Have fun boys and girls, having waited until the butter melted on my toast, I've missed out on this one, so it will be Sky Sports news updates for me.

Dodgy Interweb Feeds and Foreign Telly Coverage
Sky/Prima Donna League will shut all these down, unless you are in a pub that uses their interweb and/or these TV Channnels have paid a fortune for the privelege.

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