'Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the Hawthorns
Every creature was stirring, and sounding the war-horns;
"Cry the Lord is my shepherd, for to Hull we hie!
Bring Bovril and mulled ale and fruity mince pie!"

The Tigers burned bright, yet were oft wont to slumber;
For complacency lies thick as fog 'pon the Humber!
Might the Albion deliver the present we seek;
That improbable dividend, two wins in one week?

"On, Dasher! On, Dancer! On, Prancer and Cupid!"
(For players' nicknames grow exceedingly stupid.)
"On, Comet! On, Rudolph! On, Donder and Vixen!
On Krystian Bielik, the poor man's Lee Dixon!"

Now dash away, dash away, all dash away!
For to host Bristol City upon Boxing Day.
A mere two points above us the red Robins bob,
So to bring down Cock Robin is our good Mason's job.

See young Mikey Johnston, his worth beyond Price,
Pirouetting, then netting across snow and ice!
See Maja and Dike and stout Aune Heggebø,
Banging in goals with both right and left leggebø!

Such was the fate of the old QPR,
Bearing gifts three nights later they'd traversed afar;
Having blundered to Brom in vain search for a manger,
For no wise man ever became Queen's Park Ranger.

Thus also to Swansea upon New Year's Day!
In old Abertawe (its Welsh soubriquet);
"Trugarha now, boyos!" they cried yn Cymraeg
When the Baggies ran wild like a blue and white plague.

And lastly to Leicester, to honour Twelfth Night,
And claim three points while they're still more or less shite.
For we need no hounds, red coat or even Chris Brunt
To turn New Year foxtrot into New Year foxhunt.

Then woke with a jerk from his sweet dreaming, Mason
And to the team's training with fresh hopes did hasten.
But I heard him exclaim, whilst a mince pie enjoying:
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a boing boing!"


Christmas & New Year Fixtures

Hull City (A), Sat 20/12 - 15:00
Bristol City (H), Sun 26/12 - 15:00
Queen's Park Rangers (H), Mon 29/12 - 19:45
Swansea City (A), Sat 01/01 - 15:00
Leicester City (A), Wed 05/01 - 20:00