![]() |
The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version +- Sports Babble - sports forum (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk) +-- Forum: Football (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: English Football Leagues (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=2) +---- Forum: Sky Bet Championship (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=49) +----- Forum: West Bromwich Albion (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42) Pages:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
|
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 22-09-2014 Doug Smith is on his deathbed and knows the end is near. His nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons, are with him. He asks for 2 witnesses to be present and a camcorder be in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak: My son, "Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses." My daughter "Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end." My son, "Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre." "Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the banks of the river." The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize his extensive holdings, and as Doug slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Smith, your husband must have been such a hard-working man to have accumulated all this property". Sarah replies, "Property ? .... the fukcer had a paper round! DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Baggie_One - 22-09-2014 Subject: Bad Legs A man walks into a bar and sees an attractive woman sitting by herself and asks, "May I buy you a cocktail?" "No thank you," she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs." "Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?" "No, they spread." Paddy took 2 stuffed dogs to the Antiques Roadshow ”Ooh”, said the presenter. “This is a very rare set produced by the celebrated Jones Brothers taxidermists who operated in London at the turn of the last century. Do you have any idea what they would fetch if they were in really good condition?” “Sticks”, said Paddy RE: The Off Topic Thread - Beefy 1965 - 22-09-2014 Where has my post gone ? ![]() ![]() Ill try again !!!!!! The first spa salon for men ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - BaggieMan - 23-09-2014 Not that I'm particularly bothered, but as we all seem to be 'Junior Members', what and how is promotion achieved ? I've always wanted to be a General !!!!! ![]() ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Ska'dForLife-WBA - 23-09-2014 Post, post and continue to post! Or alternatively, you can give yourself a custom title via your User CP... RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 24-09-2014 Mrs Beef visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news. "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt, prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent and horrible death this year." Visibly shaken, Mrs Beef stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know. She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice, and asked: "Will I get away with it?" DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 25-09-2014 Got back from work today an the G/F said, "Sorry love, we had a power cut all day so i could´nt make you anything warm to eat." I said, "What are you talking about, we´ve got a gas cooker!" She said, "Yes dear, but the tin opener............" DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 26-09-2014 Beefy goes to Asda and notices an attractive woman waving at him. He walks over to her and she greets him warmly. He's taken aback cos he can't figure out where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' His mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the stag do that I had sex with on the pool table, with all my mates watching, while your partner whipped my arse with wet celery?' She looks into his eyes and says calmly, 'No, I'm your son's teacher.' DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 26-09-2014 A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture. Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class. One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs." "Very good, William," cooed the teacher. "My mommy had a baby," said little Esther. "Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him. "I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns." The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?" "It'll teach those Indians not to xxxx with the Lone Ranger. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-09-2014 Well, pushing on 60 now and reflecting back on my life i think i spent most of my Money on fags, loose women and beer, the rest, i think i just wasted. DD ![]() ![]() |