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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-02-2020
Three horrible facts,
1 Today is not Friday
2 Tomorrow is not Friday
3 Even the day after tomorrow is not Friday.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-02-2020
Valentines day is just around the corner.
Surprise your girlfriend by introducing her to your wife.
This message is bought to you by Doves Funeral Services.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-02-2020
Friday is Valentine's day. Don't worry if you're single. You're going to die alone anyway!
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
What happened when the man fell in love with his garden? He wed his plants!
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
My G/F told me she doesn't want much this Valentine's Day.
She said, "Just some chocolates and a few little surprises will be fine."
Kinder Eggs it is then.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
My G/F just sent me a text saying, "I've just got you the best Valentine's Day present ever! xox"
I really hope she mispelt "Xbox".
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
I asked my friend if he'd bought his wife a gift for Valentine's Day.
He's a bit of a chauvinist pig so he surprised me when he replied, "Yeah, I've got her a belt and a bag."
I said, "That's very thoughtful of you. I hope she appreciates it."
He said, "So do I. And hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work much better now."
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
This Valentine's Day I expect to be inundated.
Sorry... I meant in, undated.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
It's always exciting to get a Valentine's Day card pushed through your door, with no stamp on it - just your name on the envelope.
Except when you're in prison...
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-02-2020
Last Valentine's Day, my fiancee of four years bought me a lottery ticket and I won £5 million.
I wonder what's she doing nowadays?
DD