+- Sports Babble - sports forum (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk)
+-- Forum: Football (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=1)
+--- Forum: English Football Leagues (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=2)
+---- Forum: Sky Bet Championship (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=49)
+----- Forum: West Bromwich Albion (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=21)
+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
Pages:
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36
37
38
39
40
41
42
43
44
45
46
47
48
49
50
51
52
53
54
55
56
57
58
59
60
61
62
63
64
65
66
67
68
69
70
71
72
73
74
75
76
77
78
79
80
81
82
83
84
85
86
87
88
89
90
91
92
93
94
95
96
97
98
99
100
101
102
103
104
105
106
107
108
109
110
111
112
113
114
115
116
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141
142
143
144
145
146
147
148
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
157
158
159
160
161
162
163
164
165
166
167
168
169
170
171
172
173
174
175
176
177
178
179
180
181
182
183
184
185
186
187
188
189
190
191
192
193
194
195
196
197
198
199
200
201
202
203
204
205
206
207
208
209
210
211
212
213
214
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239
240
241
242
243
244
245
246
247
248
249
250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
258
259
260
261
262
263
264
265
266
267
268
269
270
271
272
273
274
275
276
277
278
279
280
281
282
283
284
285
286
287
288
289
290
291
292
293
294
295
296
297
298
299
300
301
302
303
304
305
306
307
308
309
310
311
312
313
314
315
316
317
318
319
320
321
322
323
324
325
326
327
328
329
330
331
332
333
334
335
336
337
338
339
340
341
342
343
344
345
346
347
348
349
350
351
352
353
354
355
356
357
358
359
360
361
362
363
364
365
366
367
368
369
370
371
372
373
374
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 08-01-2020
An exhausted woman goes to see the doctor...who asks her how she is sleeping.
She says, not much, because I like having sex.
The doctor asks her how often she has sex.
She replies, Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.
The doctor advises her to cut out Wednesday.
She says, I can't. It's the only night I am home with my husband.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 08-01-2020
How do you sell beans for the price of beef?
Make vegan burgers.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-01-2020
I enter the elevator after a long day at work and a very attractive Blonde woman sneaks if after me. I politely smile as she selects her floor.
She smiles back and says to me "TGIF!" to which I politely reply "S-H-I-T".
A very puzzled looks comes upon her face but she once again says "TGIF", to which I reply "S-H-I-T".
By this point she is quite stunned and while all flustered and confused and says "TGIF, Thank goodness it's Friday"
To which I say "Sorry Honey It's Thursday"
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 10-01-2020
I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday...
Me: "I'll just have the Paggione".
Waitress: "That says 'page one', sir."
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 10-01-2020
A store that sells new husbands has opened in London where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose only one item from the store and can not go back to a lower floor, except to exit the building!
A woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs - She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. - 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. - 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. - She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please and are all just want, want, want. No wonder you are on you own, you deserve being left on the shelf. Now bugger off! Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex, have some money and like a beer and a shag whenever you fancy. No one has ever been to the the third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors.
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 11-01-2020
I was in a pub in faraway Tettenhall last Saturday night, when this really brutally ugly girl came up to me, squeezed my arse and said, "Give me your number, sexy."
I replied "Have you got a pen?"
She smiled and said "Yes."
I replied, "Well you better get back to it, before the farmer notices you're missing."
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 12-01-2020
A Sunday school teacher asked her children on the way to service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One little girl replied,
"Because people are sleeping"
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 13-01-2020
A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:
" Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty.. You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"
"We're taking Aer lingus" was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Aer Lingus?" exclaimed the hairdresser." That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome 's Tiber River called Teste."
"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."
A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome .
"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in one of Aer Lingus's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to Premier Class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a multi million remodeling job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican , a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."
"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"
He said: "Who fucked up your hair?"
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 13-01-2020
One Monday morning the postman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail.
As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Dave, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
'Wow Dave, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman commented.
Dave, in obvious pain, replied, 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning. We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'
The Postman thought for a moment and said, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'
‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is..'
The postman laughed and said, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it.'
'Probably a good thing you did,' Dave responded, 'Your name came up seven times.'
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - BaggieSteve - 13-01-2020
:
(13-01-2020, 13:54)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: One Monday morning the postman was walking through the neighborhood on his usual route delivering the mail.
As he approached one of the homes, he noticed that both cars were still in the driveway.
His wonder was cut short by Dave, the homeowner, coming out with a load of empty beer, wine and spirit bottles for the recycling bin.
'Wow Dave, looks like you guys had one hell of a party last night,' the Postman commented.
Dave, in obvious pain, replied, 'Actually we had it Saturday night. This is the first time I have felt like moving since 4 am Sunday morning. We had about 15 couples from around the neighborhood over for some weekend fun and it got a bit wild. We all got so drunk around midnight that we started playing WHO AM I?'
The Postman thought for a moment and said, 'How do you play WHO AM I?'
‘Well, all the guys go in the bedroom and come out one at a time covered with a sheet with only the 'family jewels' showing through a hole in the sheet. Then the women try to guess who it is..'
The postman laughed and said, 'Sounds like fun, I'm sorry I missed it.'
'Probably a good thing you did,' Dave responded, 'Your name came up seven times.'
DD