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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-10-2019
I told my G/F I`d always had a thing for Beyonce.
"Whatever floats your boat" she replied.
"No" I said, "That`s bouyancy"
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 03-10-2019
My mate Dave is so engrossed with technology he got a mobile phone implanted into his throat.
When his wife finds out she’s going to ring his neck.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 03-10-2019
Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will."
The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't.
Jack placed 20 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her 20 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 04-10-2019
I called the police about a Murder on my front lawn.
But, they said they couldn`t do anything about crows, and to stop calling them.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 04-10-2019
I have been happier since I change from drinking coffee in the mornings to orange juice.
My doctors says its the reduction in caffine, I think its the vodka.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 05-10-2019
I think I need glasses....... I keep walking into pubs.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 05-10-2019
It`s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.
It`s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 05-10-2019
Did you hear about the Guy who invented Polo`s, he made a mint. But the Guy who invented the hole got nothing. DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 06-10-2019
I struggle with Roman numerals until I get to 159, then it just CLIX. DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 06-10-2019
Apparently the clocks go back this month. That`s me burgered then, I can`t remember where I bought it. DD
