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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-09-2019
My mate is a structural engineer......
He`s always complaining about stress at work.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-09-2019
Ive just sacked my masseuse ,she couldn’t keep her hands off me !
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-09-2019
My friend asked me "What are your plans for the weekend"?
"I`m going to buy glasses" I said.
"Then what"? she replied.
I answered "Then I`ll see......"
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 29-09-2019
My mate Dave said to me "What rhymes with orange"?
"No it doesn`t" I replied.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 30-09-2019
Two alligators were sitting around talking, and the smaller alligator turned to the bigger one and said, 'I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age; we were the same size as kids. I just don't get it.'
'Well,' said the big gator, 'what have you been eating?'
'Politicians, same as you,' replied the small gator.
'Hmm. Well, where do you catch them?'
'Down on the other side of the river near the car park at Westminster.’
'Same here. Hmm... How do you catch them?'
'Well, I crawl up under their car and wait for one to unlock the car door. Then I jump out, grab them by the leg, shake the crap out of them and eat 'em!'
'Ah!' says the big alligator, 'I think I see your problem… you're not getting any real nourishment.
See, by the time you finish shaking the crap out of a Politician, there's nothing left but the asshole.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Lady Jane - 30-09-2019
I' ve got a dog called Minton. He ate all his shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!
RE: The Off Topic Thread - talkSAFT - 01-10-2019
(30-09-2019, 20:25)Lady Jane Wrote: I' ve got a dog called Minton. He ate all his shuttlecocks. Bad Minton!
Quite a good one, Jane. But I recall someone cracking similar joke about Roger Minton one match in our Relegation season 1973.
(Roger was a decent stand-in for Duggie Fraser).
My neighbour had one Yorkshire Terrier he named 'Yorkie' (after John Kaye's nickname) and another called Chippy (after Clive Clark).
Anyone else had any dogs named after Albion players? eg Bomber or Willie?
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-10-2019
I saw a woman walking towards a door, so to be nice I opened it for her.
Instead of thanking me, she and everyone else on the plane started screaming.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 01-10-2019
BREAKING NEWS....
A nine year old girl has disappeared, after using moisturiser that makes you look ten years younger.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 02-10-2019
Breaking news :
The Guardian is reporting that PM Boris Johnson is being accused of taking a cup of coffee from a Costa Coffee Machine this morning without paying ..... Costa say no crime was commited .....
John McDonnell has said this is typical Tory self entitlement and that coffee could of gone to a homeless person .....
Jo Swinson has called for a public enquiry ....
Jeremy Corbyn has insisted that the Prime Minister must resign ....
Caroline Lucas of The Green Party accuses the PM of ignoring climate change and insisted that the PM should of bought a £15 fair trade vegan friendly extra skinny dairy free latte topped with volcanic ash sprinkles ......
Greta Thunberg was unavailable for comment as a there had not been enough time to prepare a script .......
the Met Police are investigating these claims...
DD
