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The Off Topic Thread - Printable Version +- Sports Babble - sports forum (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk) +-- Forum: Football (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: English Football Leagues (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=2) +---- Forum: Sky Bet Championship (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=49) +----- Forum: West Bromwich Albion (https://www.sportsbabble.co.uk/forumdisplay.php?fid=21) +----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42) Pages:
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 15-07-2018 Why why oh why...?... Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat? Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money? Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet? Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle? Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection? Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him? Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets? Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"? If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white? Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale? Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized? Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance? Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try? How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures? When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping trolley then apologises for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you xxxx idiot?" Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over? In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat? How come you never hear father-in-law jokes? DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 15-07-2018 France World Cup Players: 1) Presnel Kimpembe - Congo 2) Samuel Umtiti - Cameroon 3) Paul Pogba- Guinea 4) Kylian Mbappé - Cameroon/Nigeria 5) Ousmane Dembélé - Senegal/Mali 6) Corentin Tolisso - Togo 7) N'Golo Kanté - Mali ? Blaise Matuidi - DR Congo, Angola 9) Steven Nzonzi - DR Congo 10) Steve Mandanda - DR Congo 11) Adil Rami - Morocco 12) Nabil Fekir - Algeria 13) Djibril Sidibé - Senegal 14) Benjamin Mendy - Senegal Say what you want about France but their preparation for this tournament was second to none. Spent half the 19th century conquering Africa so they could build this side. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-07-2018 What do you call a cheap circumcision?? A rip off. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-07-2018 What`s the difference between Lassie and football?? Lassie came home. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-07-2018 My G/F told me that, "Sex is better on holiday". Not the best postcard I`ve ever received. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 26-07-2018 A woman weightlifter goes to the Doctor`s... "I`ve been taking steroids and now I`ve grown a cock." "Anabolic?" say the Doctor. "No, just the cock"...... DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 28-07-2018 What gets longer when it`s pulled..... Fits between breasts.... Inserts neatly into a hole.... And works best when jerked?? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Get your mind out of the gutter.... It`s a seat belt. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 30-07-2018 We were sat in an empty train carriage late at night when I said to the G/F "C`mon love get `em out". She took her top off and slowly eased her tits out of her bra. "The tickets" I said. "The inspector`s standing behind you". DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 30-07-2018 The average person fart`s 13 times a day..... Finally, I`m above average at something. DD ![]() ![]() RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 03-08-2018 The In-laws bought me a pair of roller blades from Poundland for my birthday.... Bloody cheapskates. DD ![]() ![]() |