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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - silverbaggie - 05-06-2017
A 7 year-old boy and his 4 year-old brother are in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 7 year-old, "I think it's time we started swearing. When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'll swear first, then you."
"Okay," replies the 4 year-old.
In the kitchen, when the mother asks the 7 year-old what he wants for breakfast, he answers, "I'll have Coco Pops, you bloody bitch." *WHACK*
He goes flying out of his chair, crying his eyes out.
The mother looks at the 4 year-old & sternly asks, "And what do you want?"
"Dunno," he replies, "But it won't be f**king Coco Pops."
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 07-06-2017
Imagine Abbot and Corbyn in a lift......
She doesn`t know the floor number..
And he won`t press the button.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - silverbaggie - 07-06-2017
You know you're getting old when your wife says, "Dearest, lets run upstairs and make love,"
and you answer, "I can't do both."
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 08-06-2017
A little girl asked her dad, "do all fairy tales begin with "Once upon a time?"
Her dad replied, 'No, some begin with - If I am elected'
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 08-06-2017
After 12 attempts my G/F finally passed her driving test.
I asked her what I could get her as a celebration gift.
"Just something cheap to run around in". she said.
So I bought her a pair of trainers from LIDL.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 08-06-2017
Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo.
After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - silverbaggie - 08-06-2017
Q) How can you tell a blonde is having a bad day?
A) When she can't find her pencil and her tampon is behind her ear.
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 09-06-2017
On top of it all, just heard Diane Abbott on the radio, she stated she had retained her seat with 300% of the vote!!!
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - silverbaggie - 09-06-2017
(09-06-2017, 16:42)Dingle-Dingle Wrote: On top of it all, just heard Diane Abbott on the radio, she stated she had retained her seat with 300% of the vote!!!
DD
Many a true word spoken in jest!!!
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Salopbaggie - 10-06-2017
Looks like we'll be sending Brussels the Conservative and Unionist Negotiating Team. I hope they can come up with a handy acronym.