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+----- Thread: The Off Topic Thread (/showthread.php?tid=42)
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RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 18-08-2016
Just got my balls out at the hospital but they have no idea what this red rash is.
Hopefully the doctor will come and see me soon because the receptionist is useless
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 18-08-2016
No Win no Fee what a load of xxxx bollocks ! ..
On Saturday night I was walking home after 17 pints of John Smiths Bitter and a chicken vindaloo . I couldn't get a Taxi as I was robbed) The curry was 20 quid !
It was a 3 mile hike home and not one public bog in sight , then I saw it . SALVATION A Public loo ..... Of course it was bloody closed . Fancy being closed at 3.00 AM ! was in AGONY Belly ache and buttocks clenched so tight that a piece of coal between the cheeks would have turned into a diamond . .
Sadly it was at last too much and I farted and followed through thus writing off a pair of brand new Levi jeans and Calvin Klein boxers .
I arrived home and after changing immediately got on the phone and telephoned my local no Win no fee 24 hour hotline , only to be informed by some snotty bint that Farting and following through on the way home after 17 pints of bitter and a vindaloo curry Thus writing off pair of new boxers and levis did not constitute an accident ! ..
Of Course it was a xxxx accident !
As If I would do it on PURPOSE
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - BaggyBomber - 19-08-2016
Brilliant, DD, just brilliant!
RE: The Off Topic Thread - talkSAFT - 19-08-2016
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/-T7zyezBkuY?rel=0
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 19-08-2016
Me and the G/F were enjoying a steamy shower together last night:
"Your tits look great all soapy and warm."
"Stop taking the piss or I'm getting out" I said.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 20-08-2016
Just realised the G/F`s gone from a 38DD to a 38 Long. DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 21-08-2016
During labour the pain is so great that a woman......
Can almost imagine what a man feels like when he has a cold.
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 22-08-2016
I have just cleared my phone contact list of all my German friends,
I am now Hans free...
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - Dingle-Dingle - 23-08-2016
In deepest Borneo today a very small tribesman (4ft 3 in ) was found standing over the body of a Tyrannosaurus rex when asked how it had died he replied ,I killed it with my club ,
How big was the club I asked
There are 349 of us........
DD
RE: The Off Topic Thread - BaggieSteve - 23-08-2016
Great to see that a West Brom comedian, Masai Graham, has won this year's Edinburgh Fringe Festival joke of the year. The joke: "My Dad suggested I register for a donor card - he's a man after my own heart". As Masai said on receiving the award, "Not bad for someone from West Brom".